He is very opiniated about what I should be doing. Asks why the house is not cleaned and meals not cooked. BTW I am a full time student and working from home. I am not sure that I want to be with him anymore. Not just b/c of this but other issues. Last night the baby was sick and vomited on himself on the carseat. My BF knew the baby threw up. He leaned in the window and said give me 2 minutes. He was going to smoke herb b4 getting in the car! Meanwhile the baby is sitting in a pool of his own vomit.
2006-08-21 09:13:45 · 22 answers · asked by fuzzy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Sounds like someone wasn't ready for being a Daddy - it's a hard lesson - but remember your hormones are really out of balance right now - he's terrified at this new role in his life and you probably are too - plus you're under other stressors - stop and think back to before the baby - did he have these same traits but you overlooked them - they didn't seem like issues? If you answer yeah as I look back they were still there, I just didn't really pay attention - they were just pet peeves - then you've still got the same guy - it's just your responsibility levels have changed - and you either keep him the way he is, or you make the hard calls - let him go so that you and your child have a decent chance in life- but be sure you know his social security number - you're going to need housing and food assistance and they're going to attach partial wages and any income tax refunds he's entitled too because he's the parent for child support - not only that, make sure you've got the birth certificate - if he didn't want his name on as the Dad - wow - big red flag - when you go for assistance, they will help you, and they will demand a paternity test - he will get his dose of reality to life - at that point you will find you all either truly want a relationship and a family or he's what your greatest fears have been, even if laying underneath a lot of hidden surfaces - but Moma, you and a baby are on a right path, now just walk the line, don't look back, and make those tough choices, mankind will let you down everytime, but Jesus never will and even when it seems it's the hardest, he's carrying you. If you can work from home, have a baby and go to school - you're doing a whole lot better than most - you've got hopes and dreams - there's help out there for women like you - use it - and don't let him keep dragging you down - especially with his herbs in front of a child.
2006-08-21 09:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by dph_40 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd give him the options first he needs to quit smoking herb! Not a good influence for your child. second it takes to get pregnant he needs to pull his weight. And last but no least if he doesn't do those and start helping get out of it. Doesn't sound like he cares much, just about getting his high! Don't worry about the house work all of the time. (don't let it get unbearable) but you child is only little once enjoy it while it lasts. Plus your working and going to school. Does he do anything besides work? if not sounds like you are way to mature to be with this guy. Well good luck with it all and hope he begins to pull is weight around the house and with the kido or tell him to get lost.
2006-08-21 16:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by _mommyof2_ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him or call the cops next time he steps out to smoke herb, since that is illegal.
He is your boyfriend not your husband is is feeling a huge array of feelings that you will never know. He may not have really wanted a child and now feels trapped and un happy.
Unfortunatly the best thing to do is leave him and then get childsupport enforcement after him. That is the risk single parents take by having children when they are not fully ready and have not communicated properly. You seem to be trying to better yourself but it is abvious he does not care. YOu can not force him, just get rid of him.
2006-08-21 16:23:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would save up enough money to move out on your own and just leave. He sounds like a complete idiot who doesn't know the first thing about raising a child. You also do not want your kid around pot, that is just wrong. I would leave and file for child support ASAP. I was in the same situation, my son's father is a stupid ****** who doesn't even see his son now. You have to think about your child now, and think is this a good siuation for them to grow up in. I wish you the best of luck. Oh, you said you are working from home. what do you do? Could you e-mail me and tell me. I am also a full-time student and mom, trying to find something that keeps me at home with them. Thank you and good luck.
2006-08-21 16:23:44 · answer #4 · answered by Good Gushy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like her doesn't want to do any of the work of being a parent but wants all the control. I know I would be pissed if my husband knew the baby threw up and took off to smoke... and you with a 1 month old.. working... schooling... and he wants to know why the house isnt clean? I guess he doesnt even being to understand that your body was just through a whirlwind with the pregnancy and adjusting to motherhood....if it were me Id tell him what was bothering me ...
2006-08-21 16:22:59 · answer #5 · answered by Jessica 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For goodness sake (and the sake of your baby) get rid of him. If he comes to his senses and realizes what he is missing out on as a dad, then let him back into your life, but if he would rather get high then help with a sick child, HIS child, what does that tell you about his potential for being a positive force in the baby's life?
2006-08-21 16:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by Tim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like you bagged a real winner there!
My personal opinion? Get the hell out of that relationship. If he's that critical of you and careless of the baby you don't need him in your life. You seem to be managing quite well on your own, so I would strongly recommend getting yourself into a better living situation, WITHOUT him.
Get as much help & support as you can from family & friends, but dump this loser before he does irreparable harm to your baby.
2006-08-21 16:23:37 · answer #7 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok seriously, leave him! things are not going to get any easier for you and the baby. think more about your baby's well being. i would never put a man or anyone for that matter ahead of my children. my ex would not help me out at all with my baby (he's 7 mths) and as much as i would try to tell him he would either ignore me or do it his own way. i gave him the "boot" and i am much happier now. it may take some time to adjusting, but if you are basically doing it on your own now. you might as well be on your own....
GOOD LUCK
2006-08-21 16:24:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jacinda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, if he's doing drugs, he needs to go. No matter whether he does it near the baby or not. Also, it sounds like he has no sense of responsibility. I say give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't clean up his act, leave.
2006-08-21 16:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by ariannaandtjsmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but what kind of a life did you expect. You had a child with someone that would not commit to you, and is selfish and childish. My advice is to get rid of him, get yourself together and don't have any more children until you are married to someone stable and who wants children! Also, you could loose your baby if he is around it and has drugs!! Why arn't you thinking?
2006-08-21 16:40:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋