My husband was playing around with me and was all over me. He walked up to me in the kitchen kissing me like crazy grabbing my butt, dancing with me, and throwing rubber bangs across the room, he chased me up to the bedroom and pushed me on the bed. And again acted so desperate. I said to him "Your totally obivous aren't you, you just want to have sex." (I said it a couple of times) he got up and said fine forget it and walked away. I asked him why and he said that when I say that it makes him feel like he's DOING SOMETHING WRONG (because its not the first time he's heard that from me.) Why does he feel like he's doing something wrong when i say this? (unless he just wants sex in his mind).
2006-08-21 09:09:33 · 33 answers · asked by dlmvm0612 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
GUYS I CANNOT MAKE HIM FEEL BAD, HE FEELS THIS WAY ON HIS OWN. WHY?
2006-08-21 09:19:38 · update #1
Yes, you are doing something wrong. Your spoiling the moment by making him seem like any other man who just goes after a girl for sex. Sure, sex is what is on his mine, but it is having sex with you, his wife that he wants. He is looking to have fun and get wild with you and is hoping you will just go with the flow and have fun. It would be much better if right away you just tell him if your not interested than letting him get all exited and then ruining the moment. Instead you should be telling him you want it too and how excited you are. You should be letting yourself go wild and have fun. When you say what you did you make it sound like he is forcing you to have sex because that is all he wants and no real husband wants to feel like he is forcing his wife to have sex with him, he wants her to want him like he wants her.
2006-08-21 09:19:27 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't doing something wrong...you are just saying it in an unattractive way.
Men like the chase and the game of sex. That is part of marriage. If you just say something that implies he just wants sex...you are right at THAT MOMENT. But he really wants you all the time.
It can be compared to telling a cat that is chasing a feather on a string....well, it is not a bird...it is just a feather on a string. If the cat understood, they would lose interest.
Sex and love is a beautiful game. The minute you take the game out of it...it isn't nearly as beautiful. It is more like yardwork. Don't take the fun out of sex for your man.
Men work hard to be monogamous. Really. They are biologically tuned to mate with many. Your husband chooses to mate with you exclusively. Do him the honor of turning him on in everyway way you can.
Over the years it will keep the spice in your marriage. Afterall, as my fiance told me just the other day. " I may love meat and potatoes...but I can't just eat them plain every day"...
Play games with your man. He may feel like he is doing something wrong...but he is doing something right and he just needs to fine tune it a bit. Why not...just attack him for sex...or at least act that way;-)
I am not trying to minimize how you feel...but sex needs to feel a bit dirty sometimes to feel really good. Leave the BANG in his life and he will adore you forever.
2006-08-21 09:25:19 · answer #2 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, u should be happy that ur husband is all crazy about you in that way. Most men go get there groove on somewhere else. He is obviously turned on by u so take advantage of it. The reason that he gives up at the end is because he is horny and wants you and all you can say is that he just wants sex. He doesnt only want sex from you cause he is married to you and living with you. That is something you can say to a boyfriend that comes over and wants sex but not to your husband who comes home to you everyday and wants to be intimate with his wife. you just need to stop saying that to him and GET IT ON WITH HIM cause soon he will go look for it somewhere else with someone else who does not protest to him when he wants it.
2006-08-21 09:20:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jersey Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a turn off to your man when you say stuff like that. Beleive me, it totally kills the mood. Sometimes us women talk too much and at the wrong times. Sorry if it is not what U wanted to hear as an answer but it is true in a lot of circumstances.
2006-08-21 09:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by Naomi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're essentially telling him he's doing something wrong by questioning his motives. Obviously he wants sex (you should know that) but would you rather he come up to you in the middle of whatever you're doing and say "honey I wanna have sex"? MY husband never "ask" me or tell me he wants sex. We just get into it. Your husband probably feels rejected by you so the next time this happens, just give him what he wants and get it over with.
2006-08-21 09:21:39 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is because once he steps out from the routine you are use to from him you think he isn't being himself. Well, to keep things exciting an interesting, one tends to mix things up. He is probably insulted that you don't feel he could be this person. If what he is doing is not wrong in your mind, then don't give him that response. Go with it. Feel it. Talk to him about it without making it sound like he isn't wild enough to be like that or he is odd for being like that. So I guess the guestion is if you don't have a problem with it, why fight it.
2006-08-21 09:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just being flirty and having a fun time with you. Just go with it. Don't make him feel shameful or guilty about wanting to make love to you (if that's where the fun leads to). If your marriage is a happy one, you shouldn't be so uptight about this. His ego sounds like it needs a boost as well. You're the only one that can do that. Hope this help!
2006-08-21 09:24:20 · answer #7 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is the rest of ;your relationship? Who is the controller? If he wants sex, just don't say the obvious. Go along with him and pamper him. Let him think it is his idea and he is in control. How you act and how you actually think can be totally different actions. Your husband sounds like he has low self esteem. Give him a boost.
2006-08-21 09:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by tiafromtijuana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, usually when men "play" it's their way of foreplay and showing you attention. When you say, "Your totally obvious aren't you, you just want to have sex", that's taking away from his playfulness and attention showing and making him feel like he's doing something bad. You might have hurt his feelings. All in all he's not doing anything wrong. He's just trying to love on his wife and show her attention.
2006-08-21 09:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by ohiochik28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's wrong with you? he likes the playing around...if ALL he wanted was sex he would just come right out and say "Hey, let's go have sex." He wouldn't waste all that time and energy playing around and trying to have FUN with you. If it turns into sex, that's even better, but more than likely that's not his original intention.
2006-08-21 09:16:53 · answer #10 · answered by mjboog2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋