I just inherited nine thousand pounds of string. Unfortunately, the entire length is in four inch strips. How?

Question

should I market it? Can I package the entire amount in fourt inch lengths as Stringettes?

Bowzer, you are a Monty Python fan. I thought the skit was hilarious, right up there with he's a lumberjack and he's OK.

Answer 1

All I can remember from the sketch was the bit about strangling household pests, but it's interesting to see what a 'serious' answer would be.

It's not much of a quantity, so you couldn't fill a repeat order from a company of any size (even if, for some bizarre reason, they wanted the stuff in the first place). A large industrial concern in the market for bits of string would not buy from you, any more than I, as the owner of 1,500 ceramic tiles, could sell them direct to the construction industry, even at a very low price.

Nor can you get value from it as a commodity, even if there was a market (and there isn't.)

So it's a one-off job, and I don't think the solution is to market it.

Let's see.

If you were running your own company (or running for political office), what you could do with this stuff? How do you get value out of it?

You need to do something that will:

(a) generate media buzz, and;

(b) simultaneously get rid of your horrible, space-clogging inheritance in a feasible way.

My solution:

Offer to donate the 'stringlets' (I can't call 'em Stringettes for copyright reasons) as the insulating filling for pillows to be used in international refugee camps.

Run a charity drive where you ask your community for discarded fabric (you still need pillow cases!) Work your media contacts. Tie-up with a medium-sized company which will do the stitching for you in return for a share of the publicity.

You have a 'community involvement' angle, so you have a photo-op. Run an ad & PR campaign around your activities. Get papers to carry it free as a 'pro bono' cause.

Six weeks later, you now have about 3,000 roughly-made, not exactly luxurious, but perfectly servicable pillows to donate to the UNHCR. So, one more photo op.

Smile into the camera and say:

'THIS PARROT IS BLEEDIN' DECEASED!'

Answer 2

properly, as PT Barnum reported, there's a fool born each minute.... even with the undeniable fact that, string is oftentimes no longer too perplexing for most persons to discover so i do not comprehend what number might want to purchase yur smaller packets. yet in case you would possibly want to get the Jonas Bros. to spit on the ball, then you might want to promote human being products of string saying there is Jonas DNA on it and make a killing.

Answer 3

there are thousands of things one can do with 4 inch strings. The trick is to find them and plan your marketing strategy accordingly.
Or you can market them in boxes of 12 called "Loose Tie Ends"
After all, everyone has loose ends that need tying up.

Answer 4

As seen on TV and wrapped around your weird Uncle's finger comes a miracle of hempy goodness!

That's right, "Stringettes" are available now!!! 4 inches of durable, reliable and tie-able string! You won't believe the things you can do with a Stringette! And for the next 30 minutes...we're going to show you our home viewer the miracle of Stingettes...but wait there's more....................!!

Answer 5

Place ten to a package and market them as memory aids.