I have been with my wife for 10 years married for 2. She has told me that she thinks she may be gay. What do i do? i am trying to giver her time but i love her and want to be with her. Has anyone ever been through this?
2006-08-21 08:55:08 · 20 answers · asked by lost 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Dude, let me tell you from experience, that sucks bad. I was married for 7 years and with this girl for 8 years before we married. Then one day... BAM.
email or im me at eayala9@yahoo.com and we'll talk more
2006-08-27 23:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by Scorpio9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not an easy situation. First, it's probably not you. Second, it's probably not the situation if you're been together for ten years.
Does she still care for you and want to support you? She may be thinking about women but if she's still with you, I'd think she may be somewhat bi-sexual. However, "bi-sexual" is a term that sometimes doesn't get used because there is a tendency to go one way or another.
Talk to her and find out more about just exactly what she means. She may be having passing thoughts and misconstruing these as changing orientation. Has she tried to act on these thoughts? You should know about these for no other reason than to make sure she's OK.
After talking with her, you two will have to decided where this goes. Another possibility is counseling. Having a disinterested third party may help both of you find solutions that you may not have found together.
I guess the bottom line is that you love her and, presumably, she loves you. Is this enough to help her decide just where she wants to pusue this? Good luck and remember -- it isn't you.
2006-08-27 07:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by eriurana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for several years before I realized I was a lesbian. Ending the relationship for me was a picnic because I never really loved him anyway- just didn't know why. It wasn't a picnic for him tho.
Please contact straight partners of gay spouses. If you can't find the org, contact pflag.org (a wonderful supportive group thru-out US) -- they will help you. If she is really gay- not bi- then living with you is going to be a problem. Continuing a relationship would be a lie on her part and cause both of you GRIEF. Please find someone to talk to - not friend or family. Go to a counselor and use that person as a mediator so you can talk out your feelngs honestly. If you can work thru this gently, then maybe you will be able to be friends again- at a later time. This is going to hurt you a lot but she may have been carrying this burden inside a long, long time. Go ask for help - don't try to do this yourself. And don't hate her. HUGS!!!!!
2006-08-28 22:02:18 · answer #3 · answered by reme_1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I told my current boyfriend up front that I was Bi but I also told him no matter who I am with, as long as I am in a relationship I am monogamous... its just my preference that cheating is cheating no matter which way you go sexually.
But... love her, support her and be there for her. If she figures out that she is gay... a lot of friends and family are going to be giving her a lot of grief and rejection for it. The best thing you can do for her is always stand by her side even if it means the end of your romantic relationship. If you have been together 10 years, there is a capacity for a great well of love and support from you and since you have been in her life so long, rejecting her is probably going to hurt her a great deal.
She felt safe enough with you to be able to tell you she's having these thoughts... they may be a passing thing or they may be real, don't betray that trust and I hope it all goes well for yall no matter the outcome.
2006-08-21 09:46:36 · answer #4 · answered by Ghatta74 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your wife needs you at this time. I always knew that i was gay. but i ws from a very strong christian background so i guess, i was in denial about it. i started a relationship with this guy, whom i wouldnt marry because i knew that i was gay. but we have 2 kids together. he knew what i was about before we became serious so it was nt a shock to him when i decided to come out to him. he has supported my decision and is always there for our kids. you should do the same for your wife. tell her that you love her and will support her decisions, goodluck...
2006-08-27 07:28:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an ex that went straight on me. I know you love her and want to be with her, but you have to realize that she may not want to be with you. What kind of relationship would that be? You'd both end up miserable. Give her some space, let her figure herself out, and take it from there.
Good luck.
2006-08-21 12:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by Speedo Inspector 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe for a minute that people, all of a sudden discover that they are gay. 10 years in heterosexual relationship and now she thinks she's gay. Uhmmm! Maybe she has been repressing her gay side in order to fulfill societies demand for her normalcy.
2006-08-28 10:11:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand by her! Take it one day at a time. Explore your options and see how you can still make this work. Sex is only one aspect of a married relationship.
2006-08-27 13:00:20 · answer #8 · answered by sumadremari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES,The only thing that might save your marriage is if you allow her to have her girlfriend.Is she willing to have threesomes?If not your going to have to let her explore her feelings and even then I would say your chances of your marriage working is not good.If this is the case let her go and as hard as you think it is you WILL find someone that you love and loves you back.Good luck,Ive been there.
2006-08-25 16:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by mustang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 pals -- 2 without postpone adult adult males and a gay guy -- and their substantial others have been on a cruise. A tidal wave got here up and swamped the deliver; all of them drowned, and next element you already know, they're status in the previous St. Peter. First got here between the without postpone adult adult males and his spouse. St. Peter shook his head regrettably. "i'm able to't assist you to in. you enjoyed money too lots. you enjoyed it lots, you even married a woman named Penny." Then got here the 2nd without postpone guy. "Sorry, can no longer assist you to in, the two. you enjoyed foodstuff too lots. you enjoyed to consume lots, you even married a woman named candy!" The gay guy grew to become to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, "It would not look stable, Dick." --- a guy walked right into a bar and ordered 10 pictures of whiskey. The bartender asked, "what's the priority?" the guy reported, "i found out my brother is gay and marrying my suited pal." here day an identical guy got here in and ordered 12 pictures of whiskey. The bartender asked, "what's incorrect this time?" the guy reported, "i found out that my son is gay." here day an identical guy got here interior the bar and ordered 15 pictures of whiskey. Then the bartender asked, "would not everyone on your loved ones like females?" the guy appeared up and reported, "curiously my spouse does."
2016-11-05 07:53:45 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋