clues that he is gay. Like
1. His voice sounds like a girl (Well he acts feminine)
2 He loves girls music and can sing every song made by a woman
3 He never reveals to me who he with but dies to know who everyone else is with
4 He hangs with nothing but girls
5 Sometimes I mistake him for a girl when we are having a convo.
6 He has NEVER EVER tried anything with me or any of his other girl friends.
Y won't he reveal to me that he his gay I know he is. I will still love him to death and I dont want him to hide it anymore. Should I ask?
2006-08-21 08:21:37 · 27 answers · asked by mstiffany 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
He might be gay, but there are some straight guys that act feminine. Dont bug him to death asking "hey are you gay, i think you're gay, why wont you tell me that your gay?" Becuase that might annoy him. When he is ready to tell you, he will. He may not be comfortable with coming out yet. Just stay his friend no matter what. He may be afraid that if he tells you that he is gay that you will think of him differently, When i told my friends that i was gay, i was so self consicous, and there was several times when i tried to tell them, but i changed my mind. He may have been trying to tell you that he is gay, then start to worry about your reaction and then thinks "well it wont matter if i wait to tell her" then just put it of and decide to come out later.
2006-08-21 09:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite what others have said here, if I were him and I knew you wanted to ask me something, I would want you to ask. He can always deny it outright or talk around it, but I doubt very much that he would be hurt, especially if you preface it with "I don't see you having many dates" or something like that. If he is insulted, you'll know it right away and you can make your apologies right away. I truly do understand where you are coming from though. It's almost like he's using you as a cover or he wants you to deny right along with himself that anything is out of the ordinary. I've found that a lot of the people who answer in the negative questions like yours truly have never been on a "merry-go-round" with a person like that -- it's like he or she can't come out and just say it to you and clear the air. I personally feel that when a male friend does that kind of thing with me it is especially aggrevating and stretches the friendship to the breaking point. It's like they are pulling me into the closet with them.
2006-08-21 09:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if maybe he is, but if you are really that close, wouldn't he tell you if he wanted you to know?
Coming out is a very personal thing, and each person does it on his or her own schedule and in his or her own way.
If the two of you are very young and still in school, maybe he's not ready to be "out" for all the world to know. Maybe there are other important people in his live (parents, siblings, etc) who he feels he should tell first, and he hasn't worked his way up to that.
Just be his friend. If the subject should come up, you can let him know that you are supportive of GLBT people. For instance if you are watching TV or listening to the radio and there is a news story about Gay or Lesbian people, you can express your opinion on that. Maybe in time he'll confide in you. But as his friend, you have no real NEED to know, so let him decide the time for this.
2006-08-21 08:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though it sounds like you consider him a close friend, it also seems like you are pointing things out that may seem just a tad unfriendly. What I mean is, other than saying that you "love him to death", you really didn't say anything "positive" about him. If he is truly your friend, and you truly love him, look for the positive aspects in him. Is he trustworthy? Can you tell him anything? Do you feel like you can run to him day or night with a problem? Will he be able to give you the lyrics to songs you don't know? He's probably scared to say the obvious, but inside, he probably knows that you "know" and may just leave it at that. This all doesn't REALLY matter, does it? He's your friend, you love him for that, leave it at that. And, NO-NO-NO, do not attempt to be intimate with him, or tempt him in to anything to make him reveal his "true" self. You will totally humiliate him, (and you'll feel rejected,), and that may change the course of your friendship. I would certainly question the motives of a "friend" who did that to me. Just be yourself, allow him to be himself, and be happy, as friends, for life. Respect him, and yourself.
2006-08-21 08:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by Michael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you love him to death. Does that mean you have sexual feelings for him? If not, then it doesn't really matter if he's gay or not, right? Just let him work it out for himself and make sure he knows you're there for him and not 'judging' him. I don't know how young you guys are, but sometimes these kind of things just take awhile to deal with. Hang in there with him and be supportive either way! Right! Rock on!
2006-08-21 08:32:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best you can do is express your views on some of the issues so that he knows you'd be ok with him being gay. If you ask, and he's not ready to tell you, he's not going to tell you. He'll do so on his own time. It does make it easier when you know the other person's going to be accepting though.
2006-08-21 15:59:07 · answer #6 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone.
If he's gay and wants you to know about it, he'll tell you.
If he's straight, and he never tried anything with the girls he knows, he either doesn't find them exciting, or it's too timid to try.
2006-08-21 08:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should enjoy your friend whom "you love to death." If he is going to tell anyone[if in fact he is gay], it will be you. Just don't worry about it. If you ARE that worried, and u too are really that close, you should be able to ask him without fear of a fight or whatever. Personally, I wouldn't ask though.
2006-08-21 08:31:10 · answer #8 · answered by scrawndogg25 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The stereotypes have gone down the crapper. There is no way to know if he's gay or not unless you ask him and he answers you honestly.
2006-08-21 11:19:55 · answer #9 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, i don't find your criteria valuable for defining someone who's gay. perhaps he's just shy: he hangs out with nothing but girls because he likes them but he doesn't know how to make a move. and it will hurt him if you ask such a thing, he seems really sensible.
2006-08-21 08:30:52 · answer #10 · answered by ♫Pavic♫ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋