He is always drinking, and doing stuped stuff, every time some one cames from a diffrent states, he always send them to my house for me to do everything, AND I HATE THAT, he is always asking for my car's for him to drive and he dosent have a license, I told my husband but he thinks i'm acting selfish, but i'm not i'm just trying to do the right thing, when we used to live in his house, I was pregnet and when he was drunk he used to tell us bad things, and he kick us out of the house, and now he is doing this. I'm trying to forget all of this bad things that happend, but I cant. How can I just be happy, do I ? I want him out of my life, but I cant tell that to my husband we are talking about his dad. What do I do
2006-08-21 08:11:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes you can tell that to your husband. Its your life too and if you don't want to tolerate having a stupid drunk in it then you don't have to. Tell your husband if he wants to hang out with your dad he can go to his house to do it, that you don't want his crap in yours. You teach people how to treat you and this man has been taught that he can take advantage of you and you aren't going to do anything about it. When people come in from out of state and he sends them to you send them right back. You simply tell them I'm sorry I wasn't told you were coming and I'm not prepared for company we'll call you later and shut the door. He won't send them again. On the driving without a license thing your husband needs to realize that WHEN he gets caught doing it whoever owns the car WILL be held responsible and can be charged for permitting him to drive illegally...my son 'borrowed' my car once while I was at work, it almost cost me $1200 in fines and I didn't know he was driving the car, I was at work! If you are knowningly give him the car and he hurts someone...guess what YOU are responsible for that so that decision isn't about being selfish it is about breaking the law. You married yoru husband NOT his father, stick up for yourself and demand that your husband stick up for you too!
2006-08-21 08:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish i could help but i am not in your shoes, i sort of was in that kind of place. I live this my in-laws and it drives me nuts and we used to fight all the time and now he's left me he's been missing for 10 now. I think i caused him to much stress about living with his crazy parents that it has drove him away. If you didn't want that to happen go to marriage counseling ( i wish i would have went with my husband) my be that would help.
Best of luck,
Majestic
2006-08-21 08:24:16 · answer #2 · answered by Majestic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say in a serious way that's enough try to have your own life away from his father and for not to claim that you are selfish try to visit him twice a year....
have a talk a serious one try to put your husband in the picture but be calm through that.
2006-08-21 08:22:09 · answer #3 · answered by Tota 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frist of all Pray girl! Second of all you need to express once again to your husband how you fell and what it bothering, if he loves you and your child he will want what is best for you and make some changes...if he don't then you need to!
2006-08-21 08:23:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a pathetic drunken loser and Im sure your husband realizes this fact. Cut him off.
2006-08-21 08:18:29 · answer #5 · answered by The Masked Marauder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband how you feel and tell him you want his support. If he won't support you in this he is as bad as his father.
2006-08-21 08:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by shirley_corsini 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it seems that hi is not a good person
2006-08-21 08:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by Deepak S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shud discuss it with ur husband frankly
2006-08-21 08:21:46 · answer #8 · answered by aashi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He (your husband's dad) seems like the classic "toxic person"
The following is great advise on the subject...
Toxic people. If you are experiencing this in your life, let me share with you what I have learned. I think I can help you to feel better.
* Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. The toxic person is a family member, friend, associate, workmate, boss, etc. Toxic people come in all shapes and forms as they know no boundaries.
* Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life, they will continue to do so.
* The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you probably already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But the good thing is you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.
* Realize that toxic people can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic people and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing. Rely on your instincts, they never lie. Train yourself to move away from what hurts you and move towards what feels good. This is one of the smartest life skills you can learn, and also one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself.
* Toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, financially irresponsible, selfish, and abusive. They can be criminally minded, mentally ill, or just plain evil. Toxic people are also the ones that abuse alcohol or drugs and then hurt other people. The toxic individual exudes the dark side of human nature all of the time. They cause other people pain, craziness, and aggravation. They are not hard to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these people. It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel sick and experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going crazy, but don't worry that is the true mark of being with a toxic person. Remember this so that you will be better able to identify a toxic person. That is the first step towards eliminating one from your life.
* Know that when a person is toxic it is because of their own issues. Sometimes these issues can consist of mental illness. Accept that a toxic persons behavior has nothing to do with you. In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions. Toxic people do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel bad, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault. Remember that when dealing with a toxic person, they are responsible for their own actions, but often do not. Realize this and you take back your power.
* The best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away and not allow them to hurt you anymore. If you cannot walk away, then mentally walk away. You can do that by being kind to yourself. Allow yourself to disengage, disassociate, and detach. Detachment is a process of not caring.
It is something you do for yourself. It is a mental skill that takes some time to learn at first, but once it is mastered, it can help you to become stronger mentally and physically. Detachment is a necessary skill for preserving your own mental health. Detaching from people and situations that are not good for you is healthy and can help you to feel better. Begin detachment by repeating affirmations. Affirmations are powerful because over time, the mind believes what we program into it. The following are some good examples to help you, but feel free to make your own that speak to you personally.
I do not care about ***.
I will not allow *** to hurt me.
Detaching from*** will help me to be healthy on many levels.
I control my own life and decisions.
I am strong.
I feel good about the decision to detach.
Detachment is healthy and necessary.
* When dealing with toxic people remember that exercise is your best friend. Exercise relives both mental and physical tensions. It helps the body to produce healing chemicals that will repair your body and help you think more clearly. Exercise also encourages the release of endorphins, chemicals that relieve pain and help you to feel good both mentally and physically.
* Most importantly develop supportive relationships with your life partner, friends, family, workmates, and associates. There is strength in numbers. Talking things over with the people in your life who love and care for you, can help you to overcome the negativity of toxic people. Just as animals and children instinctively can sense when someone is good or evil, the people who love you are very good at recognizing when someone is toxic and hurting you. Loved ones are a good defense against toxic people because they can offer you good advice and support for eliminating negative influences in your life.
2006-08-21 08:32:26 · answer #9 · answered by elcycer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋