my boyfriend broke up with me in march, he left and went out with his friends one of my old friends that i did sort of have a thing for a long time ago called me that night. i went up there and saw him. it was only for about ten min and then he left and i was just there with a few other frinds. when i started talking to my boyfriend again he asked what i did i said i went and saw a few girl friends that night. my roommate told him that i had really went up there to see this other guy. my boyfrined has been asking about it alot and i kept telling him i just went to see my girls. well this weekind we got in a huge fight and he told me that my roommate told him we went up and saw this other guy. i finally came clean and told him everything. nothing happended between me and this other guy i just said hi he left and i didnt see him for the rest of the night and have not talked to or seen him since. i know my boyfriend has a right to be mad and not trust me now. what do i do? any advice????
2006-08-21 07:50:48 · 12 answers · asked by TEMPTRESS 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Find someone else - and DON"T DO IT AGAIN!
2006-08-21 07:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been going out?
Why did you decide to lie? If it wasn't a big deal, think about why you did it. The truth is almost always better, and saves a lot of trouble later on.
If this the first time something like this has happened? If so you have a better chance of patching things up. If there's a repeating pattern, he's going to see it and doubt what you say....and it will be a situation that you and only you created.
If you both are lying and getting mad at each other for doing the same thing, then you both need to grow up.
2006-08-21 15:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by Bobbie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing is you where not upfront at first an now ther will always be that doubt if it had been you am sure you would have the same,as long as you try to keep things from each other you an never heal. it's good you came clean but ow he may think if you could do it once why not again some how the trust was broken an now it's going to take sometime to get it back just remenber acations speak alot lounder than words so show how much you want things to be right with you guys an it should bring you guys back to where you wanted to be
2006-08-21 15:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by jeffrey h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong other then lie to him. And that's a biggy. You should of known that you two were broken up. No matter what you did during this time can he be pissed at. Same goes for you. But when he did ask about it you should of told him the truth and let it go. I'm sure hes more pissed over the lie then you actually going to see this other boy. Tell him your sorry, you didn't want to say anything because you knew it would make him angry but that its done and over with now and to let it go. Maybe hes pursuing the matter because he did something during your break as well...you need to sit down and have a long talk!
2006-08-21 15:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the type of questions that you ask. They seem truly sincere. In this case you messed up. As you already know, you need to be honest. If your relationship can't handle the honesty that it should have, then you are in the wrong relationship.If you are afraid to talk to your boyfriend honestly, then you need to realize that the longer you and him go together, the more chance you have of not being honest. When he realizes that you have subjects that you think about, but won't be honest with him..then he will stop being honest with you.
He doesn't have any right to be mad at you anymore. You fessed up, no both of you need to move on. However, you also need to tell him your ideas, thoughts, fantasies and secret wishes to see if he can handle your honesty. Remember what your mom said...Tell the Truth and Be Polite. Contact me if you want other ideas. Good Luck
2006-08-21 15:03:45 · answer #5 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be taking time to absorb all this, Ill bet that he will be right back to you and yall can work this out. If there is true love there, that is. Give it some time and see if he comes back. If he doesnt, then it wasnt worth it to begin with. When you do gat another boyfriend, though, dont do it again, be sure that you want to be committed to this man, if he is with you.
2006-08-21 15:02:14 · answer #6 · answered by tennman012000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the same thing myself. There really is not much to do. You just have to trust yourself in wether you want to stay in the relationship or leave it. i made the mistake in staying in it, and all has gone to ****. Dont get me wrong some days are great.
2006-08-21 14:58:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time. Some people can, given time, learn to trust again. Others can't. It will depend on what kind of person each of you is.
2006-08-21 14:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should explain to your boyfriend that you don't have any feelings for this guy and that you just wanted to see how he has been. tell him how you really feel and he will understand. it might take time for him to realize that you didn't want to or intend to hurt him. try to make it up to him. do something that he has wanted to do or enjoys doing. try to make him feel that he can trust you. and the next time, don't lie to him.
2006-08-21 15:00:33 · answer #9 · answered by misty_blue_hawaii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't trust you then it's not going to work. If you didn't do anything wrong then you don't need to put up with the aqusations (sp). Good luck!
2006-08-21 14:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by Magi Mae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you lie if you didnt do anything and he broke up with you?? once you lie it is really hard to fix. it takes time and the other person never forgets. you really screwed up!
2006-08-21 14:58:26 · answer #11 · answered by mml619 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋