hey guys...i really do need y'alls opinion? yesterday my boyfriend called me and invited me over to meet his family...and his kids from a previous relationship. i didnt think i was ready to meet his kids but i didnt know how to say "no" without hurting his feelings. so i went. well it was ok...at 1st i was a little uncomfortable but as the night went on i warmed up to everyone (including his little boy of 10 months) his little girl is around 3 and she understands the concept of her parents not being together. so she was a little upset to see me and her dad together. out of respect to her i wasnt really all lovie dovie with him. he loves his kids...and i tell him if he wants to be with his family he can! i was talking to one of my best frineds...and she was telling me it was wrong of me to be around him and his kids. whats do you guys think? did i make a mistake of meeting his kids?
2006-08-21 07:44:46 · 20 answers · asked by lizlatina69 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he wanted you to meet the kids than why not that's totally up to him as long as you didn't hang all over him and acted like your # 1 in his heart at least you under stood that the kids come first their young and they will adjust to you and him being with each other just remember to always be there for them also being a step parent is not always easy you have the ex to deal with just remember you did'nt break them up so don't feel like you need to give him back to her what ever happened with them leave it with them God belss you
2006-08-21 08:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by Libra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend that is a single mom (of a 6 year old son). Her husband left 3 years ago and went straight to living with another woman so their son sees the constant break up and get back together of her ex husband and his new girl(s). In order for her son to feel secure, she waits until she has been seeing a man and the relationship is moving along before bring him around her son. Right now she is dating a great guy- a single dad with a son also- and they have only recently been doing things together "as a family", after more than a year of dating. This way her son doesn't constantly see men coming and going.
He invited you to meet his children but I can't say it was out of his better judgement and if you felt uneasy as if it wasn't the right time, the best advice I can give is "trust your gut".
If you can't express yourself to your boyfriend, think about that!!! You should be able to say anything to him.
2006-08-21 07:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by Kristy K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the age of the kids and how long you have been dating your boyfriend. Since they are still so young if you broke up they will not remember you, especially the 10 month of little boy.
If you have been dating your boyfriend for a while and you are planning on getting married, then it's a great idea to get to know his family who would soon be yours.
Your best friend should have mind her own business. Sometimes friends feel they are concerned when they are actually butting in where they don't belong. Sometimes friends forget that giving your advice before asked can be difficult to take.
2006-08-21 07:53:33 · answer #3 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All i can say is if you love the father and you are planning a long realtionship with him then yes you need ot meet his kids!!They are going to be part of your life now with him comes baggage ,kids and a ex wife!Hopefully she isnt a ex from hell and the kids like ya,but believe me if the mom dont the kids wont so try and stay on her good side.But if you dont love this guy or plan on staying long then no you shouldnt have it only confuses the kids and they get to liking you and all of a sudden your gone not very good for them .Esp dealing with mom and dad not being tog any more teaches them that no one stays tog and you cant count on no one .SO if you arent planning on being with him long dont meet them again and leave the dude if you are planning on hanging in there then yes you done the right thing!good luck and god bless!
2006-08-21 08:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by blondie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not think about if the too of you get married. The fact of knowing that he has kids and you all have meet and have been around each is great. I pretty sure the kids know who their mom is. It is good that you have a realationship with them, instead of them not knowing who you are and then meeting you in the long run.
2006-08-21 07:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you made a mistake. But I think you should tell him that you didn't feel that comfortable about it. If you want your relationship to be a good, lasting one, you have to be honest with him about these things.
Maybe you can take it slowly with the kids especially if they are still finding it hard to cope with the idea of their dad being with someone else.
Best wishes :)
2006-08-21 07:52:33 · answer #6 · answered by Cina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would've had to meet his kids eventually right? Best to just get that kinda thing out of the way as soon as poss. And good for you for having respect for the 3 yr. old, not many women out there that would do that.
2006-08-21 08:25:19 · answer #7 · answered by hey_finny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how long you two have been dating. Kids need stability in their lives, so hopefully, he's not changing girlfriends on a regular basis. As far as you meeting his kids, obviously, they are very important to him, and if you really like this man, you are going to have to get used to things. He is a package deal after all.
2006-08-21 07:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by ammecalo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a mistake was made it was probably on his end. It is hard for children to see either parent with another. If this isn't a "yet" lasting relationship then he may have jumped the gun a little.
2006-08-21 07:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes..... before meeting and devoloping a relationship with the kids, make sure your relationship with him is going to last... If the kids get close to you and you leave him, the kids will have lost another parent figure and have to deal with that pain again.
2006-08-21 07:55:07 · answer #10 · answered by David 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋