How do you cope with people that you cannot stand?

Question

was brought up to be very honest and if that if you did not like someone then do not be false/make an effort with them.

I am finding that this is not really working as an adult as it comes across as being aggressive/childish.

Anyone any tips with handing people who really get under your skin?

Thanks in advance.

WOW! Just like to thank everyone for replying to my question! =)

I wish I did not have to pick just one good answer as they are all great.

I would like to say a big thank you to each and everyone of you who took time to answer.

I will take your comments on board.

Thanks! =)

Answer 1

You bite your tounge to spite your face. Tips? Kill em' with kindness, do not let them even for a second think they've pushed your buttons! Smile at them on the outside while your giving them the finger on the inside. Confidence in your dimeaner and blow them off like what they do or say doesn't bother you..It will drive them crazy!!! I have a mother in law of almost 30yrs who is a #1 beoch, and I have my power that she can't take from me and it eats her ---! You do not have to tolerate such pety B.S. and it took a long time for me to get that way!! I stay away, and don't give a rats *** what Anyone thinks. You get one ride on this planet and I'll be damned if someone is going to try to make me miserable just so they can feel superior! NO WAY!!!!

Answer 2

I was brought up the same way and my in laws are the exact opposite. So I just am up front with them and if they don't like it then it is their problem. Honesty is the best way to go even if other people cannot handle it. The only people who cannot handle honesty are liars. And my in laws are liars. They would rather talk about you behind your back and be nice to your face rather than just telling you how they really feel. It is a tough situation but no one can say you did anything wrong by being honest. Good luck.

Answer 3

No, it's generally not a good idea to be very honest with people you can't stand. Putting your dislike for them into words will lead to nothing positive. The best thing to do is try to avoid them as much as possible. when you can't avoid them, you might try being very cool with them, showing only the minimum amount of interest in what they do and say, so as not to encourage more interaction than absolutely necessary. Avoid being rude or insulting, however. Create as much physical and psychological distance from them as possible.

I hope you consider people you dislike as incompatible with you, not that they are bad people. Most unlikable people are not bad, and it's best to live in peace with them. Mostly by avoiding them.

Answer 4

Depends on who it is, stranger, co-worker, family member, aquaintance. Strangers - ignore them, taking your frustrations out on a stranger only makes their day worse and that's not cool. Co-Worker - override them. try to prove them wrong if they are, but dont be overly aggressive. Always stay professional. Family - you're just gonna have to find a way around it! Always tell all the ones you love anything and everything you feel. Be honest with your loved ones. Aquaintances are aquantances - If they don't like your opinion, then f*ck them. True friends respect your feelings, no matter what.

Answer 5

Your upbringing is key here. Do not make false effort with them. Be honest in all of your interaction.

If they are wrong, correct them. Be careful, though, because if you are, in fact, the wrong one, then it will come off as childish.

If you don't need to interact with them, then don't. This cannot come off as childish, as you are maintaining your focus and remaining productive.

And, always remember not to react in a childish manner. If it comes to an insult or a put-down, make sure not to resort to grade-school level. If the other person does so, the best retort is exactly that; "What are you, ten years old?" And walk away.

Answer 6

1. First pick your battles. Is this a person you have seldom contact with, let someone else set them straight.

2. If not, and they are uncivil with you, address them in private. You never want to humiliate anyone in front of their colleagues, family or friends. Remember, be kind. Kindness goes a long way.

3. Try to cut them slack, unless they are 'over the top' obnoxious. Some people have been behaving like this for so long with everyone they come into contact with, that they are unaware of their behavior.

4. Tell them exactly what they are doing — the uncivil, offensive behavior. You tell them that they may not be aware of it, but their behavior is a very unflattering reflection of their character & repulsive. You politely ask them to refrain from acting this way with you henceforth.

5. This person may be shocked and apologize. Accept the apology and say "Let's start a fresh slate." Unless they are narcissistic, they won't be sleeping that night. They'll be reflecting upon what you have said and going over all the people they come into daily and social contact with.

6. If they have a negative reaction, tell them you wish to have nothing to do with them, until they can behave civil and respectful.

7. That's all you can do, unless it's at work, you can file a grievance.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I can understand how you feel about the whole thing.But we are in a society where we have to meet people who more than not really get under your skin.So just let them know how you feel about them.Its better to be frank than to tolerate such people.At least they will know where they stand as far as you are concerned.If people really get under your skin just ignore them but if they tend to irritate you try changing your place.Keep a stoned expression when they talk to you.Show no reaction.Pretend as if they are not in the room at all,they will soon get the message and wont trouble you.If you happen to have N series Nokia its saves you from such people who really get under your skin and also makes you get on their nerves for a change.

Answer 8

I find it best to only deal with these people on a "have-to" basis. I think anyone can hold their tongues for a short amount of time. Besides it really makes you out to be the better person in the long run.

Answer 9

I'm a little unclear as to what you mean in your attempts at resolution. You cut them loose. Plain and simple. You don't give an abject multiple opportunities to offend you.

It just doesn't work that way. And you have to realize there are many people in this world. Most really love evil. Take your cue from that.

Answer 10

If you really have to deal with someone that you can not stand, think of it as a duty rather than a chore.
As a child you had to deal with adults in your life, some of whom must have come into this category..
Remember how you felt when you had to see the head in school or something like that.

Answer 11

People like that kill them with kindness they cannot comprehend why you were nice when they were the opposite in some manner.
Do the unexpected. Bring pretty flower in simple vase....free samples they may like...doesn't have to be big and say was just thinking of you. (Please do not tell them what you were really thinking) Sometimes you will find they thought you were stuck up, there jealous...many new friendships have began on the wrong foot.