does anyone else agree with me that monogamy is a thing of the past?

Question

its in our DNA. we are supposed to have different mates. its against the law of human nature. then why do we try to force ourselves to do something which we are not supposed to in the first place and waste our lives trying to make it work when it wont

Answer 1

No. There are even animals that are mongamous. Just because we as humans often fail to be loyal to one spouse doesn't mean it's supposed to be that way.

Answer 2

"we are supposed to have different mates."

Not true.

We're supposed to create babies when we have sex. With the long gestation period and the high demands a mentally immature offspring requires, parenting is a fulltime job in itself.

If parenting is fulltime, it doesn't leave enough time for 1 person also provide food, shelter, and other essentials.

People are social animals and are designed to live together, not in solitary. If we are not meant to be monogamous, do males have ANY role as a father? Woudl you want to be a child raised without any father?

"why do we try to force ourselves to do something which we are not supposed to in the first place and waste our lives trying to make it work when it wont"

We do it because there is more to life than sex and casual friendships. I can only assume you're very young and don't realise this yet. Life is not just 1 big party. It's not all about you-you-you all the time.

Once you have the right mindset and are with a partner who is also not selfish or unreasonable, the love between two peopel can be the most beautiful thing.

There's nothing better than knowing no matter what, no matter what dumb mistakes I make or how old I get, when I get home someone who loves me is waiting for me.

Answer 3

No, it's not a thing of the past because it's still around and likely will be for a long time...people need to do what works for them, whether it's long term monogamy, serial monogamy, polygamy, or something else...

If it were against the "law of human nature" then so many wouldn't be doing it...bottom line though is that the church encouraged it....probably primarly to keep track of the parentage of children...

People should stay together for as long as it is good and right for them...if they desire more than one partner at a time, and all the partners are kewl with that, then that's fine too...but there are still many (for whatever reason) who desire only one at a time...and would be happy if they found just one with whom they'd be happy 'til the end of their days...

to each, their own...

Answer 4

I don't agree that ALL of us are supposed to have different mates. I prefer monogamy.....but if that doesn't fit your lifestyle than it's not for you....I would agree that it's not for you. The problems start when people bring right or wrong into the picture. Just because I prefer monogamy...doesn't mean that I would ever judge you or try to push what works for me onto you :) It cracks me up how uptight people are when others don't "conform" to their way of life or thinking! You are an independent thinker....don't bother with these people who would judge you or label you just because you don't fit their mold. I read some of your other comments and I'd be your friend any day :)

Answer 5

It is less in DNA and more in the structure of today's' society that the flaw in relationships exists.

As mankind/womankind evolved, life expectancies were much shorter in the earlier stages. Mating and childbearing occurred sooner, because, disease, predators, natural events had a much greater impact on life expectancies.

The imposition of fidelity was done to establish rules of inheritance. The laws of primogeniture demanded that there be a clear line of inheritance to keep civilization stable. Inheritance went to the oldest natural son. Later efforts acknowledged the presence of illegitimate sons by creating the Bar Sinister for crested families, where the normal heirs would have a crest with the bar from the right to the left, but the bastard child would be designated by a bar going from left to right.

The solution is not to marry at the first whim, but to create a relationship where each partner can probe for common interests and elements that will hold the relationship in the best possible way to remain stable. The divorce rate in the United States strongly suggests that marriage is far more impulsive that a thought out process. When three out of every five marriages dissolve within five years, the empirical evidence is that the relation was established on the basis of superficial grounds, such as age-imperative, biological clock deadlines, or peer group pressure.

Look at your own children, if you have some. Are they better off with an unstable home life with multiple pseudo-fathers, or pseudo-mothers walking in and out of their lives, and siblings with different last names.

If you introduce instability into their lives, they will believe rightfully or not, that everyone else lives that way. More importantly, do you want them to live in an unstable domestic situation when they live out on their own. Anti-social behavior, drug use, inability to have a regular income, domestic abuse are all elements that increase with the unstable life style. Think about it!

Answer 6

Hmm, interesting. Could you further enlighten me by telling me what gene(s) code for promiscuity? No, you can't, because that's all nonsense.
There is no gene that pushes humans away from monogamy. Impulse control issues, an overly tolerant society, the desire for instant personal gratification, lack of forethought, and a higher value placed on individual happiness over the happiness of the family are all factors that have contributed to the failure of many marriages.
It is not innate to humanity to be promiscuous. The marriage failure rate hovers around 50% in the US. That means that half of all marriages are successful and are not a "waste" of "our lives." At least half of all marriages do work. If monogamy was doomed by genetics the failure rate would be much higher.

Answer 7

I disagree. Polygamy is NOT genetic. It is a choice!

Monogamy is the most beautiful expression of love two people can enjoy. It isn't just about sex, although sex is certainly part of that.

I find the idea of multiple partners callous and cold. True love takes a lifetime of investement in another person, beyond each others bodies and into each other's hearts and minds. This IS a lot of work, but then, humans are more than up to it!

We are more than animals. We are people.

Answer 8

It sounds as if you are trying to justify your own actions by making a generalization. Yes, plenty of people are incapable of forming or continuing monogamous relationships; however, many others are capable of doing so, and have done so.

If monogamy is not right for you, just make sure your partners know that from the start.

There is nothing wrong with monogamy or polyamory - it's a choice. The one thing that is wrong is lying to your partner about your intentions and actions.

Answer 9

monogamy is not a thing of the past, it's a thing of the 500s and 600s when Christianity and Islam really kicked in
fact is, a man is supposed to be ready to help reproduce up to three women without a problem
look at the lions

Answer 10

monogamy was a survival trait. In the past, if you had sex, you had a kid. If the man left, the kid died of starvation, so getting married becae a survival trait.

In todays world, with protection and child support and welfare, there is less of a need for it for sure. I think that if the entire culture went that way, it could get ugly. Parents with no obligation to thier kids is very very bad for society.

Answer 11

I think it varies from person to person. Some people are more than happy with each other 10,15, 50 years down the road. Other just aren't. If monogamy doesn't work for you, it doesn't work. The only thing you need to do is find like-minded people.