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I am noticing that the more women I talk with the more I find are sexually unsatisfied with their husbands. Some have no sex drive, others say there is no connection in bed and it's just sex, not lovemaking.
Anyone else feel this or notice this?

2006-08-21 07:04:08 · 11 answers · asked by jolynne32 1 in Health Women's Health

11 answers

Dont feel alone, my husband and I have been together 12 years, he totally satisfies me. However after the birth of my daughter 4 years ago, I totally lost my desire for sex, I just dont get "in the mood" without alot of coaxing. The lack of privacy has alot to do with it. We as woman are very emotional and sex for us is connected to our mind. If you are distracted by children, job, or other issues, I find that if I have a couple of glasses of wine, it helps to relax and clear my mind of these things and more in tune to my husbands needs. Something else to concider may be your level of testostorone. I had a test done and mine was low, they prescribed a topical cream, no help. So good luck and dont feel alone. Also discuss this with your husband, might help you keep him in YOUR bed and not someone else's if he knows what you are going through....

2006-08-21 07:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You do not give your age. Nor how long you have been married. For the first time in my life I am having this kind of problem, but I have been married 17 years and am menapausal with a dry vagina syndrome and frequent UTI's. I think this is effecting my desire quite a bit.
Let's say you have been married some time too. I agree, after about the 15 years it seems as though sex is just sex and the lovemaking part seems to fade. But I think that is because both of our bodies our aging. Spontaniety is not a given. Sex is becoming a more invovled process, with him taking a pill 30 minutes before and me using lubricants and worrying about hygiene.
So we had a heart-to-heart. Instead of lovemaking per se, we are turning it into fun-making. We try to have fun, joking about the prep work, using code words to tell each other we are prepping up, renting erotica or just watching a hot tv show before hand. We laugh at each other and ourselves more and do not worry so much about how frequent we have fun. Lately we are having a lot more fun than in the last 6 months. So I guess there is hope, as long as you have an imagination.
With the use of various medications, antidepressants, sleep-aids, and even antihistamines having sex can be more difficult. Add to that time restraints and stress of aging .... well I guess we all just need to try a bit more and not worry so much about the results or how much romance is invovled. Isn't it pretty romantic to have someone age with you, and accept all the changes.
Talk to your partner. He's probably feeling short-changed too. Maybe you can figure out an acceptable solution. But first, think about what you are really missing. Is it the lovemaking or the enjoyment?
Good Luck!

2006-08-21 07:40:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

you almost answer your own question. while, "normal", isn't the word - or metric - i should use to gauge such a think, as you've found, in you're own informal studies, it's not so unusual. many things can be at work, here, from medications, through unresolved emotional issues, to, well, just not having a sex drive (some don't - they're even started an asexual movement!). search your feelings, talk to your doctor, and, perhaps most importantly (if it's important, to you, at all - see asexuality, above), talk to your husband. good luck!

2006-08-21 07:19:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think there are people (both men and women) with low sex drives, people with medium sex drives, and people with high sex drives. Sometimes people partner up with people whose sex drive is not compatable with theirs. When this happens there can be trouble at times in the relationship.

2006-08-25 15:10:47 · answer #4 · answered by BR 1 · 0 0

i have read a lot lately that women who have been on the pill for a while have reported decreased libido & that it takes quite a while for it to return even after getting off the pill.
maybe these women have been on the pill too long... i guess what happens is the estrogen pill lowers the testosterone levels (which is what causes us to have a decent sex drive)

2006-08-21 07:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

yes im a male and its the same way with my wife.we stopped having sex so much that win we findly did made it special or try doing different things in the bed room

2006-08-21 07:14:38 · answer #6 · answered by kujo 1 · 0 0

Hell no thats not normal. Come on over here baby, I'll give ya some

2006-08-21 07:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

they need some excitement again!!! If their husbands can't think of a way to spice things up maybe they need to look into other things, like swinging.

2006-08-21 07:11:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

It is common but normally leads to the man looking elsewhere

2006-08-21 07:10:28 · answer #9 · answered by dwh12345 5 · 0 1

Yes. I think my husband is really really sexy but I don't want it like I used to. I'm not sure but it seems to be a change in ME. I dunno why.

2006-08-21 07:11:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mama R 5 · 1 0

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