My husband & I were married when we were 18yo, 17 years ago. In the last 10 years we've talked about a 3some, but only during sex, and only with another man. Recently we've talked about it a lot. He expresses feelings with facial expressions more than words & it's obvious that he's jealous of a friend of his' friend. I've wondered if he has feelings for this friend. Last week during sex he asked if he could call me by that friend's name.He says he only does it to turn me on, but I'm really starting to wonder if he's bisexual. I don't think he would ever act on it, we've been married so long & have no kids so we're not staying together because we have to. I wish I could write more here but space is limited. Could someone with a serious response willing to help please e-mail me?? anydaynow71@yahoo.com
2006-08-21 06:40:39 · 17 answers · asked by anydaynow71 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well, does it really matter? You have been married for 17 years, he has given you no reason to suspect he is seeing anyone else, male OR female...so what's the difference? As for a 3 way, I think that if he is bi, this will be one sure fired way to bring it out...not particularly wise. You do not need this guy flipping out over some guy. And, I don't mean to burst any bubbles, here, but no one is too old to act on anything...that is for sure.
If your marriage is working as is, perhaps it is better to stick with it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it! IF, at the worst, he had messed with a guy, I can all but guarantee it would have been safe sex only. Married guys are fanatic about that one. I have re-read this quesiton 4 times. Each time I read it, non -judgmentally, I feel more and more that you are probably right...he is bi, has a real crush on his friend (harmless to you, actually), and has the situation under control. I would draw the line at playing substitute for his friend...I don't really like that part of the game..for it is leading to some uglier things. Let him keep it in his head, it doesn't have to come out into the bed. There is no one I have found that is free from everything. (except me, of course!). This one sounds as if it isn't going to go anywhere .. so leave sleeping dogs lie. Good luck
2006-08-21 07:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Certainly sounds like he's bi or gay. I would sit him down and discuss this in a non-sexual context. First though, think through your response. What if he is actually gay (from your perspective, the worst case scenario). Would you break up? Would you accept an open marriage where he had other lovers? Be prepared and know your own limitations about this relationship before you ask the questions.
2006-08-21 07:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very possible that he is bisexual or gay if he is calling you a guys name when you are having sex. You need to talk with about this to see what he is thinking. After awhile I speak from experience he could be more turned on by a man than a women. Talk to him.
2006-08-21 08:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
@ Emily: purely because a guy is married does not advise he can not be gay or bisexual. i am going to't even commence to allow you to realize in ordinary words what number married men are on the downlow. besides, in case you worry that your husband is bisexual, as his spouse, you want to confront him. deal with the precedence and don't be judgemental. do not offend him in besides, as sexual orientation could be an extremely touching/gentle topic.
2016-11-30 22:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will say one thing - some of that sounds pretty gay to me - - but PLEASE don't judge your husband too much by what anyone on this site would say - only he can tell you for sure. You sound like an open minded person and someone easy to talk to, you know what I am going to say - you need to have a point blank converstation with him about his desires. You need to evaluate how you feel.
2006-08-21 07:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if the opinion of a straight man is worth anything to you; but I think your husband is definitely bisexual and wants to have sex with a man.
2006-08-21 11:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any time during sex, if the other person says someone else's name is because that person's in their mind. Obviously, your hubby is attracted to his friends, either for sexual or sentimental reasons, and in either case that's a clear indication that he's gay.
2006-08-21 08:10:12 · answer #7 · answered by Kookoo Bananas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he thinks that you might want to have sexual relations with the man in question. and it might be a turn on for you, it might be that he wishes he could see the sex between you and the person in question. I think you need to get more answers
2006-08-21 07:06:24 · answer #8 · answered by jumpinjackdw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has same sex feelings.
You need to determine how bisexual he is. Or could he be fully gay? You need to talk to him about this.
Does he really love or where you a way for him to escape being gay?
2006-08-21 07:11:14 · answer #9 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably is just curious. It is up to you, but I would ask him seriously about it. If this is something that he has a strong desire for, he might end up cheating, I would make sure that he knows that your seeing these signs and makes you wonder what's going on
Good Luck
2006-08-21 06:48:28 · answer #10 · answered by lissa7903 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋