How can I say this without sounding mean or cheap?

Question

My husband and I are relocating and this move along with being in a wedding this year is going to cost ALOT of money which we are saving but as a result we will not have any money left to give presents expect to eachother. What is a kind way to tell our relatives we will not be exchanging gifts. I realize Jesus is the reason for Christmas but people tend to expect a gift, what are ways to deal with this I will be having a Christmas get together as well as giving very nice cards with thoughtful sayings. This will be the first year that we will not be doing gifts. How can we say this nicely but firmly we dont expect gifts in return I am in my late 30s and my husband is in his 40s.

Thank you and God bless you.

Answer 1

Just tell them you've had a rough year financially, and you won't be able to afford to exchange gifts. Certainly they will accept that and fully understand.

Answer 2

1. For Christmas get-together, play "secret santa" and set a price limit to $10 or so. This way, you'll only need to buy one gift.
2. Make gifts instead of buying them. Homemade cookies nicely presented, a framed picture, or a silk flower seasonal bouquet will each cost you under $3.
3. If you're giving cards, you can enclose a piece of chocolate (chirardelli squares work great) and/or a picture of you & your family. People will always remember your card.
4. If you really don't want to give any gifts at the get together, say something like this in the invitation "This year we'll be celebrating family and friends, which are the best gifts of all. Please do not bring any presents, aside from light contributions to the meal. This will give us a chance to spend more time visiting, enjoying the meal, and appreciating each other for what we are".

Answer 3

Maybe let everyone know that this year you'll be donating money to charity (they don't ever have to know how much) instead of gifts. And if anyone would like to do something for you and your husband, they're welcome to donate as well (give the address in the letter/email you send out) but you won't be accepting gifts. Then you can make some sort of certificate (or most charities provide them and the leave off the amount) and send them out with your holiday cards instead of gifts.

It also can't hurt to be honest - people appreciate honesty. But you could be honest AND do something like the above, just so people don't feel like you forgot about them.

A gift exchange idea is good as well.

Answer 4

I've also tried to tell people I DO NOT want any gifts, etc., especially when there have been times when I couldn't afford to give. If people want to give you something, nothing you say nor do will stop them. However, since you're having a get together, just simply explain that time spent together should (and usually does) mean much more to others than anything else in the world.that this is yours and your husband's gift to them, with the lovely card...and then tell them that their presence in your home and spending time with you is the best gift of all! (Which it truly is!) Also, in the 'special card', be sure to add a small note about the person and why they're special to you!

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with telling the family that you have been overextended this year because of moving and being in the wedding. You could say something like, "You know, we've had a very expensive year, and Christmas will be pretty lean this year."

If you feel that you need to get a small gift for certain people in the family, go to Dollar Tree or some other inexpensive store, and get several small gifts for people in the family.

Some of my favorite gifts have been the creative ones that my sister has given me. Last year, she took a bunch of pictures of my son when she kept him overnight. She took the pictures and made a collage in a frame she got from the dollar store. They turned out so well, she also gave one to my husband for his office and one to my parents (grandma and grandpa). She was only out the expense of printing off the pictures from the computer and the cost of the frames.

One year, I baked mini-loaves of pumpkin bread and wrapped them up in clear wrap with a bow -- I put them in small baskets from the dollar store and added a few candy canes and some hot chocolate mixes.

Be creative and have a very merry Christmas!

God bless you!

Answer 6

Your decision makes sense (and reinforces my belief that families, especially large ones, can get by with a gift exchange drawing type of arrangement instead of every body giving everybody else a present - that can get out of hand and get expensive).

Anyhow, I will make one observation about a slight modification that you might consider in your plan. If you go to someone's house for a Christmas dinner or celebration, do take the hosts a house gift. It doesn't have to be expensive and can even be something you made. This is always proper when invited for dinner in someone's home. On the other hand, if you are the hosts, then you certainly don't have to provide gifts for anyone - you provided the meal!

Answer 7

Just send out an email that updates the relatives about what's going on in your lives. Let them know at the end, that you would prefer not to exchange gifts this year, as finances are tight and you would feel bad receiving a gift since you cannot reciprocate. They should more than understand. You should, however, fork out the 10 bucks to send out nice Christmas cards to everyone.

Answer 8

Have you considered making thoughtful, nice gifts?
Me and my husband do this often, if we find ourselves in a pinch
around Christmas time. I am blessed to have three very creative children that love making gifts for our friends and family.
But even if your not that creative there are some real good ideas for home made gifts.
Check out HGTV.com or Google search "money saving Christmas ideas" or "DIY Christmas gifts"
Besides it's most likely that your friends and family will give you gifts despite your asking them not to.

Answer 9

Just let everyone know that you cannot afford to exchange gifts this year and would feel better if they didn't buy for you.

But have you thought about home made gifts. Cookies, cakes, candies, in a nicely wrapped gift bag? Inexpensive but very thoughtful. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 10

You should go ahead and talk with your friends and families in advanced I am sure that they will understand. There are also many inexpensive or free gift ideas that could be very meaningful if you do decide to do gifts. Some examples are baked goods or desert in a jar or meal in a basket ( you know the dry ingredients for cookies or something are in a mason jar or you give them a basket of spaghetti noodles along with a jar of homemade spaghetti sauce something like that)

Answer 11

First of all, I wouldn't say it in advance. People don't just give gifts to get something back. And I have discovered personally that people don't take it well if you tell them you don't want to exchange gifts, for whatever reason.

My suggestion is that you just send out cards at Christmas in which you say that your very tight resources this year don't allow you to send gifts the way you wish you could, but you really hope that the following year will be better.