My nephew is 18. He was taken to the OR over the weekend to pump his stomach after he passed out and was found foaming at the mouth. He claims he only smoked pot and took a few Xanax...my husband says no way...he took more than that. He has no job and it is possible he is selling drugs. We begged his parents to let him come live with us 3 years ago when he was failing school but they refused. He cares more about how he looks than how he acts and he wears these big diamond studs in his ears. I think he is losing touch with reality and needs firm direction. My husband thinks he needs to join the Armed Forces. He is not a member of my church so my church won't help him (I asked).
Any ideas, comments, help?
2006-08-21 06:31:28 · 5 answers · asked by Sister Cat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My sister and her husband tried taking in our troubled cousin when he was in his teens. They weren't able to really help him, and he added a lot of stress to their marriage. Once he turned 18, he went to "Teen Challenge." The structure, responsibility, and accountability were all things that he needed and he did well there. I wish I could say that solved all of his problems, but he is well into his twenties now and still struggling in many ways, but "Teen Challenge" did give him some skills he needed and provided him with some opportunities. Unfortunately, he didn't take advantage of everything that was offered to him.
Don't consider having him live with you unless you and your husband are in agreement and only after you assess what it will take to help him and whether or not you have what it takes. If he is doing drugs, he might bring them into your home and make you vulnerable to police action should he get caught. If he is in trouble, he probably also hangs around troubled friends which could pose a threat to you and your husband's safety. All I'm saying, is don't be idealistic, but realistic about what you would be getting yourself into.
The structure and discipline of the Armed Forces may be exactly what he needs, but he would need to have the strength of will to survive. It would be better to try something like "Teen Challenge" first. Then, if he's able to clean up his act, he would have a better chance of making it in the Armed Forces and having a good future rather than just ending up being discharged and having a black mark against him.
2006-08-21 06:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all..what kind of "church" are you a member of that turns people away that need help?..(I wonder)...You and your husband obviously care for the boy, you all should have a heart to heart talk, bring up his drug use, his lifestyle, maybe hubby is right..have a recruiting officer visit and talk with the boy...His own parents seem to not care about him if he's failed school, could be he's thinking no one else does and just let him know that you both care about him and his life, his future....Good Luck
2006-08-21 07:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by Nani 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not your responsibility or really any of your business. He's 18, and not your kid.
Inviting him into your home is like bringing a disease into your home. Do you really know what you are suggesting?
2006-08-21 06:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, hopefully that experience in the OR would make him realize that he is wasting his life for nothing. If it doesnt, make him realize it. He is the only one who can make him change his lifestyle and you cant force him but you could always persuade him.
2006-08-21 06:41:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have a cop come over to him talk to him and scare him
2006-08-21 06:45:58 · answer #5 · answered by Scott R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋