I can tell it hurts him, he seems to lose his self worth. I am his girlfriend but he doesn't treat me like a girlfriend, more like a sister. I just need help making him feel happy again, I can't just give up because I love him and you don't find love everyday. So any advice would be great. Except you idiots who say dump him, that may be your answer to everything but not mine. Anyone else, thank you.
2006-08-21 06:04:25 · 22 answers · asked by charlene 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just be there for him. It might take a while, but if you are there when he's ready for a serious relationship again, you stand a better chance of having him.
2006-08-21 06:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness actually comes from inside a person, so you can't really make him feel happy again unless in participates in allowing himself to be happy. What you can do is do your best to build him up and encourage him. Be sure that you keep telling him all the things you appreciate about him. Tell other people too, like both of your friends and family so that it will get back to him from other channels.
Divorce can carry with it a great sense of loss and failure, and it may just take some time for him to move on. He may not be ready to "get over it" just yet, and he might not be really ready for another relationship. You should consider that possibility.
2006-08-21 13:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agreed - time is the only thing that is going to help him. I can tell you love him. Don't give up on him if you truly care about him. Patience is going to be important on your side of it. He does need some self esteem healing right now and how better to receive that than from someone who truly cares (you). Just try to keep "up" around him but yet, let him know in words that you feel his pain and you wish you could make it go away for him. I know there are stupid people on here. Regardless of how you ended up falling in love with him is beside the point. That is no one's business - that is between you and him. But like I said before....time will take care of it. If he's treating you more like a sister now, means he cares about you a lot but yet, he MAY NOT be ready to jump into anything right now. IF YOU ARE SERIOUS, then you can be patient and wait for his time to be right. Remember, it's not always a good idea for people to jump right from a bad relationship to another relationship. He may need some time for himself to heal too. Hang in there. I'll bet you are a good friend to him too.
2006-08-21 13:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time...Just continue to be there for him. He may not be ready to get into a serious relationship because the feelings are still there from his past. Don't pressure him. Make sure you and him both have the same feelings for each other. He could possibly be looking for a female friend just to have around and you may be seeking more. But if he's not exactly ready at this point and you are really in love w/him, be patient!
2006-08-21 13:13:31 · answer #4 · answered by littleann75 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, if he's not over his ex then he can't fully give to you. If you sit around supporting him, then you are allowing yourself to assume the sister figure because obviously he is not ready to really have you as his girlfriend. The best thing that you can do is be there to listen but give him his space as well. He needs time to get over the past before he can have a future with you and that is not to say give up on him, but you shouldnt devote too much time to someone who is not emotionally capable at this point to give much back to you. Hopefully for your sake, if he does really make you happy he will come around eventually but until then keep some distance but allow him to have you when he does need some support. There really isnt anything that you can do to speed up his pain and the only way that he will be able to find happiness is to deal with the issues for himself. As I have said before the best thing you can do if you want to keep him in your life is to be supportive but allow him to grieve and get it out of his system. I am currently going through a divorce myself and though I am happier that my ex and I are through, it is still a very difficult process that no one can really help me out with beyond lending an ear when I need to vent or giving me my space when I am thinking about things and wanting to be alone. Does he have any hobbies or interests? He might find a little bit of ease, if he keeps his mind preoccupied with other activities...just an idea people have offered me to get over the stresses that divorce brings...good luck and i hope that everything works out for you...
2006-08-21 13:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, girl it might have been too soon for him to start dating again. Just give him time and wait if he's worth it. I don't know if I would want a guy that treats me more like a sister than a girlfriend because that might be all he can give you right now. You might need to give him time and space. Good luck.
2006-08-21 13:11:17 · answer #6 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just acting like that to pre-occupy you, so he doesn't have to work in the relationship. Otherwise, you'd be making demands for him to make YOU happy. He should be thanking his lucky stars that he even HAS a girlfriend, as so many men after divorce are dry for YEARSSSSSS. You can't fix him hunny, he has to want to be happy. Maybe that's why his wife divorced him, some people are depressed and like a sinking ship; drag everyone down with them. You may want to dump him once you feel like slitting your wrists.
2006-08-21 13:14:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, just stick by his side, and show him that he means a lot to you, and that you are not going to give up on him. Show him that you need him, and that you will be there for him. He will get over his ex and be okay after a while, so don't give up. Get him to go do things that the two of you like doing, and maybe plan a special little vacation just for the two of you... and you can do that even if you can't go anywhere... just make it a special weekend for just the two of you, no friends or family just you two alone...
2006-08-21 13:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are definintely the rebound girl. Don't worry so much about his feelings, he will be ok. I would distance myself a bit maybe you should invest your time and energy in something else. When/if he's ready to put his all into a relationship with you he will come after you then you will know he cares. You can let him know that you are there for him, but back off a little for your own sake.
2006-08-21 13:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by Kesh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that maybe u should give him the space that he obviously needs to get over this and not to bring it up to him men can't handle heartbreak or anything to do with the heart very well i wouldn't say dump him just give him time tme heals all wounds and make sure u let him know that u r always there for him and anytime he speaks with u about his feelings try not to be judgemental but understanding
2006-08-21 13:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by ndemby05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm..I would not let a guy who treats me as a sister have the precious title as "my boyfriend". so yes, DUMP HIM!!!
Any other guy, I'd be super supportive, very positive and never give up on him.
And, next time you want answers be ready for ANY answer otherwise, don't write it out in a public forum.
2006-08-21 13:21:28 · answer #11 · answered by lovelymanet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋