Jamie is on lockdown by his mother because he became the victim of a sexual assault. She's afraid to let him stay by himself. She feels he's too immature to look after his own safety. Tomorrow is his first appointment at a counseling center in the afternoon and I'm going to accompany him on the bus. His mom is working and he has no dad. His mom pays me to stay with him (about a week now taking turns with another girl who is 14). I like Jamie a lot, hes tall, thin, handsome. He's very strong because he exercises in the park every day on gymnastic bars(under my supervision now!) and is kind gentle and innocent. He lacks the ability to say no when someone asks him to help them and that's what got him in trouble. I told his mom I would do it for free because hes my favorite boy. She said it was better if she paid me but thanked me. Hes going into the after school program at the YMCA next week when school starts. When I grow up and marry him I will care for him all the time.
2006-08-21 05:55:55 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You know,despite all the answers above,I don't think it's something that wrong.I think your explanation wasn't that good so they really didn't get what you were saying.I know someone that did the same thing.She's a really good friend of mine and his mother left town for 3(!)months.She moved with him these 3 months and nothing happened between them even she was in love with him(similar situation,huh?).
If your mother asked you to,it means you're mature and she trusts you.And yes,I think you should go there,but not to babysit him.
You should be there for him as a friend,because friends,more than anyone,can help you get through difficult situations.You should be there to support him. Of course,my approval could have a limit,I mean if he's only depressed because of what happened,is a good idea to go.If he has abnormal behaviour,maybe you should wait until he gets some counselling.
And,one more thing.Strong friendships tie up in difficult moments,and friendship between a boy and a girl is pretty rare.I guess you know where I'm heading with this,huh?:D
You can't know what kind of feelings you can both develop by spending time together.
Anyway,good luck both...I think you should give it a try,unless the limits I talked about above aren't crossed.
But still,there are some possibilities that,if you get together,his mom wouldn't like it...Even tho,if you seem so trustfull to her,I guess she wouldn't mind him to have a girlfriend like you.
2006-08-21 06:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by Eva 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Becky,the very fact that you have asked if it is appropriate for you to be looking after Jamie says that you already know the answer. If Jamie has been the victim of a sexual assault he has conflicting feelings and may act out on them. You are not old enough or strong enough to control him and the fact that you are attracted to him makes matters worse. He may sense your attraction and it could 1) confuse him further 2) cause him to commit a sexual assault of his own 3) or one or both of you could be emotionally devastated from your relationship. Jamie's mother is being very irresponsible by asking one child to care for another child much less one who has been through such a trauma. Tell your mother or father about this and they will probably say the same thing. You may care very deeply for Jamie but let the professionals help him sort out his feelings without getting into the mix of his emotions right now. You can still be his friend now ( he needs friends now more than ever) but don't put yourself or Jamie in a position of power where bad things can happen. Let him talk to you on the phone but keep a reasonable distance from emotional involement.
2006-08-21 06:26:00 · answer #2 · answered by jidwg 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Others have already said this, but since you are 13 you might not understand their language.
Trust us when we say that you should not be looking after him.
You are not too young to keep your friend company on the bus or at the park, but you are too young to be responsible for him.
The immediate danger is how you feel about him. If he truly was "assaulted" by an older person, he needs a trustworthy guardian who doesn't have ulterior motives.
You cannot "babysit" him because you have a crush on him.
You will compromise his mother's trust and possbily harm the boy-who may be in a vulnerable state.
Unless, it wasn't really assault and the mom is just mad because he had sex; and now he's grounded. It's not your problem.
Quit your "job" and just be his friend. Expect his mom to hate you if you get involved with him.
2006-08-21 06:50:48 · answer #3 · answered by limendoz 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
...no not really. you really should be at least over 18 if your going to be responsible for a child over 12, and at least 16 if you are going to care for a toddler or an infant, (that you are not related to). if the mother is comfortable with trusting you, and is aware of your age, then everything is ok for your situation, and you shouldn't have to ask anyone if its ok, but, make no mistake, this is not normal. i babysat when i was younger, but i made sure and only took on jobs i could handle, or felt like i could control the situation if it went bad. at 13, i would not have felt comfortable with watching another 13 year old, because he knew how to take care of himself just as responsibly as i did. i like to think i'm not better than anyone else, and its a really bad idea to marry someone just because you do feel as though you're the best person that can possibly take care of them. while this isnt the worst possible reason to marry someone, it is a pretty bad reason overall. you really should take a good long look.
do you think if you told the mother how much you loved him, and why you wanted to watch him for free in the first place, that she would honestly still be comfortable with you watching him? she wouldent be.
2006-08-21 06:11:10 · answer #4 · answered by ASLotaku 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Ok, you got a little creepy at the end there....marry him?
Anyway, it is oh so very wrong to call it babysitting, and to actually 'watch' him. But it's not wrong to accompany him, as a friend. It's like this...I walk my friend home when because she's nervous walking alone, that does not mean I'm babysitting her, it just means I'm her friend and care enough to be there so she is more comfortable.
See?
2006-08-21 06:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by Scoot 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"When I grow up and marry him I will care for him all the time."
You will live to regret that, but you've got lots of time. You're only 13.
Helping someone out is fine. You're doing him and his mother a service by watching out for him.
But a dependent, childlike personality is not what you should be looking for in a life partner.
2006-08-21 06:03:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
From your Q, it would not be appropriate for you to watch him. Sounds like you really like LIKE him and this could lead into something not appropriate. Think about it, he has some problem right now. If you two started something, that would be the end of you ever seeing him again. leave it alone for now, you're young. I can tell you like him. If you really like him, stay friends and let him get through his trouble. Don't place yourself in a situation that could make it worse.
2006-08-21 06:07:21 · answer #7 · answered by Mussel 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Heavens NO. Stupidest question I've seen in awhile. Don't even try to justify it. Crazy, just crazy. You and his mother also need counseling. Get help at school or somewhere. And, as for marrying him---don't count on it. You hormones are out of control and if you don't get help you will end up with more serious problems than a 13 year old to take care of. Can you say "Baby".
2006-08-21 06:08:00 · answer #8 · answered by EMAILSKIP 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Wow, this was a creepy read. It is not appropriate for a 13 year old to watch another 13 year old you creep.
2006-08-21 06:02:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the only thing that makes it weird is his mother paying you. That must make him feel sooooo belittled (humiliated) Think about it: His mom is paying a girl to stick up for him, OUCH! If you really like this guy, you shouldn't accept the money OR you should give the money to him and tell him that you don't want money to hang out with him. It doesn't sound like his mom is thinking clearly. If she really wanted to protect him, she should hire an adult. He's going to need to learn though that he has to take care of himself - he can't always have someone there to say "no" for him.
I hope it works out - he sounds nice!
2006-08-21 06:12:52 · answer #10 · answered by Answers to Nurse 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋