I've become friends w/ my assistant over the last year. B/c of this she doesn't treat me with respect, she often snaps at me (she has a temper problem), she doesn't even attempt to hide the fact that she's in Chat rooms all day, shopping on eBay AND to top it all off this morning she told me that she's been sleeping all morning b/c she stayed out all weekend with her boyfriend.
I'm sick of being treated like crap so I'm pulling away from the friendship, however she still doesn't respect me.
I'm her boss and she can't be doing this sort of thing at work...
What should I do? Should I go to my boss about this or just leave it be?
If they fire her, I might be without an assistant. Also, I'll have to train someone to cover me during maternity leave. I don't know what to do!
What should I do?
2006-08-21 05:40:52 · 20 answers · asked by Corn_Flake 6 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
Apparently, if you are being treated that way you are not her friend..You are being used. As her boss, you are solely to blame. It is OK to be friendly with your employees, but never friends.
From what you're saying, she is of no use to you now..What makes you think she will be any different while you're away on maternity leave. Let this be a learned lesson, business and friendships do not mix.
2006-08-21 05:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by Q.S.G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am friends with my boss, and I know that things can get weird when work isn't getting done. Though I don't feel like I treat my boss NEARLY the way your assistant treats you, I admit that my yearly reviews are kind of awkward...like he feels like he can't criticize me and I take it personally if he does.
That being said, I wouldn't be angry if he sat me down and spoke to me about my actions if I did act out of line at work. Maybe initially I'd be a little taken aback, but I would get over it fairly quickly and realize that he's doing his job.
I think that your obligation as a boss and friend is to be honest...tell your assistant that you are her boss first, and that you are going to have to consider letting her go if she continues to treat you with such disrespect. If she doesn't make a valiant effort to change, follow through. Assistant or not, you would probably be better off without her. You don't need the extra stress. If you let her go soon, you'll have the time to train someone in the basics of things. Even better, if you are serious and honest with your current assistant, maybe she'll stop treating you like crap. In my opinion, she sort of sounds like a lost cause.
Your well being is more important than a friendship with someone who doesn't respect you or your authority.
2006-08-21 06:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very upfront with her.
YOU are her boss. Its got to be resolved> like you said you will be on maternity leave soon.
First, dont have this talk outside of the work area, even though you are friends.
Have her come to your office.
Sit in your position of authority, and go over some of the things that you would like to see change. If she doesnt want to stick around with these new guidelines. Then you can immediately start the hunt for a new assistant. Be firm~
2006-08-21 06:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by ironica7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Item one: address the issue at work concerning her lack of attention to detail concerning the objectives of your employment.
review the issue with your supervisor, but when you do have a written plan of objectives for review and approval. After getting your supervisor's approval, then sit down and give this problem employee a performance review.
Should she fail to meet the expectations of the review, you should allow her some time to conform.
Item two.
Keep records.
Write down date and time of each incident and file away in a secure location. To be safe, make two or more copies and separate the locations.
Item three:
Once you have given the performance review, review the meetings' with your supervisory for his/her input and to keep them aware of your progress.
Item four:
Stay on top of the ball game and make sure the employee knows you are there for her and to help her thru this problem area. Tell her that you want her to improve for both your sakes as you do not want to train her replacement.
Item five:
After a set period of improvement, say 3 to 6 months, do another review and if the improvement is not there, let her go. But have enough written record to prove your case in a court of arbitration if the parties are unionized.
Item six:
Do not let up, do not let go, keep the faith and good luck.
2006-08-21 05:58:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing you have to remember is you are HER boss. I would try to have a talk with her one on one explaing that her behavior and work ethics are unacceptable and if she wants to continue working there she has to maintain a professional attitude. As for training someone before your maternity leave look at it this way, at least you will have someone who does work instead of shops online all day. In the long run it will pay off
2006-08-21 05:51:28 · answer #5 · answered by ntlgntbtch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try taking her out to lunch. Make sure you pay.
When you are all seated and comfortable with your food, bring the subject up.
Try to be nice!
"(Jennifer) I need to talk with you about something. I've noticed lately that you have not been treating me with the level of professionalism that is expected around the office. Not only does it reflect poorly on you, but it makes me and everyone else in the office look bad. I don't want to badger you or make enemies with you... I just want you to know that I value your work a lot, but your attitude needs to change. I would really appreciate it if you could try not to waste company time and put in more effort during the day."
Something like that might do the trick if you say it nicely.
2006-08-21 05:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by kenny_the_bomb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You aren't going to like my answer, but this is all your fault. You took on a responsibility that you didn't have the first clue how to handle. YOU and only YOU allowed this situation to develop and continue, yet you are trying to palm it all off on your assistant.
If you go to your boss, you are just going to prove to everyone that you shouldn't be a boss to begin with because you have inappropriate relationships with subordinates and you don't have a clue how to supervise and manage effectively. If I were your boss, you BOTH would be getting the boot. Her for behaving this way and you for ALLOWING it.
You can be friendly with subordinates, but not friends unless you know for certain it will not affect your working relationship.
Why should she respect you? You obviously have no work expectations of her and you have no boundaries. And you avoid addressing issues head on.
You are "pulling away" from the friendship? Are you hoping she is psychic too?
Learn how to manage, then be a boss. Set limits and expectations. Address issues as they arise. Get your head out of the freaking sand and behave like a boss.
2006-08-21 05:54:42 · answer #7 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First is your responsibility what is happening and now you are the only one who can finish this problem.
First let her know that at the work area you are the boss the friendship has nothing to do with the day to day work, second she has to do exactly for what are you paying for, in case she does not want to change her aptitude you would have to take a hard decision, but remember it is your business.
2006-08-21 05:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by Flaca II 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, tell her straight out that she needs to stop wasting time on chat rooms and get her work done. Give her a specific amount of time to get her act together, say, a week. Tell her that if she doesn't start working more and playing less that you are going to go to your boss and request a new assisstant. Set out specific guidelines for her to meet, such as X amount of work done, so you will both be able to tell whether she's been slacking off or working.
2006-08-21 05:51:11 · answer #9 · answered by Super Flippy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready to move beyond the friendship, pull her aside and talk to her. Tell her what you need from her as an assistant.
Write up an outline of the things you will need her to be on top of...have her sign it.....if she does not follow thru, then.....go to your boss ....give her a chance to correct her behaviour.
2006-08-21 05:47:57 · answer #10 · answered by Wild seed 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋