my partner broke up with me just over a month ago and said he didnt love me and that i had changed since a death in my close family and he need time to think, we had a house, he was very money orentated. but now few weeks on he says he still loves me im very confused. he has done really crapy things and lies alot especialy bout money . he has hurt me so badly yet i still love
2006-08-21 05:32:42 · 22 answers · asked by pussycatwinnie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
of course u will change after the death of someone close to u! that's what happens to people! if he came back i think he still loves u and wants to be with u. but now that u r at a new beginning try establishing some new rules. u've seen u can go without him. after all u wer not together for a month. think about what was good when he wasn't around and what was bad. when u figure it out, tell him. tell him about the certain things that he has done to hurt u. probably he will have some stuff to tell u too. no one is perfect, so both of u will have to accept some little criticisms. don't attack him. just sit down and discuss it calmly. both of u want to be happy and love each other, so u just need to find a common way to reach those goals that both of u want.
good luck :)
2006-08-21 05:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by Unicorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not that you love him, but rather that he's "the devil you know", which is not a good idea for you to hang onto.
When you had a death in your family he should have been supportive, but it sounds as though he was rather cruel and hurtful.
Also, the fact that he is "money oriented" suggests that perhaps in the back of his mind he was expecting you to benefit from the death; nothing in your question suggests that to be the case. Perhaps that killed his "love" for you.
Here's what to do: tell him that in the interval you have had time to assess your feelings and that you have none for him any longer. Tell him why. Then tell him not to call or try to see you any longer.
It might take months or even a year, before your equilibrium has been restores sufficiently for you to begin dating again - don't try to jump the gun or you will have a rebound relationship.
And good luck - you WILL find someone much better than this idiotic jerk.
2006-08-21 06:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because when you are in love with someone you can't just stop loving them that easily....i think you know deep down what is the right thing to do. You don't need to tolerate lies and after the loss of a loved one you need understanding, reliable and supportive people, which does not sound like him. I think if you go back it will only be a matter of time before the resentment builds and you end up leaving him. Goodluck.x
2006-08-21 05:42:54 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirl80 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure you still hurt the wound has not healed. It will take more time. I strongly suggest that you get a grip on yourself. I seems you have little or no self esteem. You need to empower yourself. Take charge of YOUR life and YOUR situation. Do not let him or anyone else make decisions for you. If he broke your heart more than once and lied about important things like money, you do not need that kind of aggravation. I take you are not married to him and the house was his. Get your own and then no one and make or tell you to move. It is like the old saying, "God bless the child who has it's own." If he is confused, let him stay confused but you get yourself together. Hope this helps!
2006-08-21 05:46:15 · answer #4 · answered by ADRIENNE S G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love never makes a lot of sense, sometimes you're never really sure what you think of someone. Other times we end up getting attached to ppl who treat us lousy, just cause its in our present comfort zone. You can either change your perspective of him and put up with it, or you can find the courage somewhere in yourself to walk away and leave it broken up. After a break up sometimes one or other of the partners feels guilty and so tries to rekindle the relationship, but its better to spend time alone and really think what it is that YOU WANT TO DO. the answer lies inside you to this qn, hope you find it :) P.s. PPL who lie aren't good news and financially he sounds deceitful. If you saw a guy hurting a close friend of yours how would you feel? Now see yourself as that friend. Surely you want to protect her?
2006-08-21 05:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by bebop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he's co-dependent and you need to have respect for yourself and tell him to take a hike. What he did to you was wrong, lying to you is unacceptable. You cannot have a real relationship without trust. Cut your losses-- sell the house, split the proceeds and make a new life for yourself with someone who is kind, caring, and loving towards you. I know this sounds difficult, but it will set you free. Best wishes.
2006-08-21 06:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatley i think we let our heart rule our heads. Its often harder to do the right thing and we feel it is too much to do, so we settle for carrying on with a situation even though we know we shouldnt. I am in a similar situatio but there are children involved. He too lies about money but we are trying to work it out. What you must ask yourself is would you be happier without him?
2006-08-21 05:54:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He was probably down about you being down about the death in your family, he probably found it hard to comfort you and took the easy way out, only now he's realised what hes done is a mistake! You still love him because you had no reason to stop loving him, make it up with him and move on with your lives together!
2006-08-21 05:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by Jo. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
are you sure its love you feel or is it more you are afraid of being alone? if he lies about things and treats you crappy then i don't have to tell you cause i think deep down you already know that he doesn't love you not even a little....its obvious he doesn't even respect you. whatever his confusion is about is his issue not yours, if he couldn't even be there for you when you were mourning the loss of a loved one then how can you trust him to be there for you at all. bottom line, if you can't trust him then the relationship is not worth it.....ask youself this are you willing to spend the rest of your life with him with all the lies, the mistreatment and if you have children are you ready to put them through it as well.....your choice good or bad but if you choose to stay with someone who does this to you you have no one to blame but yourself when things go bad.
2006-08-21 05:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl....I feel the same way...Like after all he has done why do you still love him...the answer is your scared to go out and try something new...you know him and know his ways....much easier to stick with what you know...If your out of the relationship now...then stay out because sometime down the road you won't have the chance to get out...(trust me) I hope this helps....
2006-08-21 05:40:58 · answer #10 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋