I think my wife has the hots for my neighbor?

Question

I dont really know so I need some help. I have this neigbor guy who is always outside doing yard work with his shirt off and when my wife goes outside they both wave at eachother all the time. I mean she tells me how hot she thinks he is and that she should go over and kick his wife out of the house. There was this one time I even said that she should just sleep with him and get it over with and that I would still be with her and she said "you shouldn't say that." And everytime we go outside she turns to look if hes outside.

I dont know, she says she just joking around and the relationship between me and her is great nothing has changed. But can a women have a "crush" on someone but at the same time never do anything about it because she really does love her husband, me.

Honsetly I trust her and I dont think she would do anything but her always telling me how much she wants him is starting to get on my nerves.

Answer 1

She is probably just fantasizing about him and there is nothing to worry about. Why don't you start going outside half naked and get his wifes attention? Start waving at his wife or other neighbor women. I bet she will get the hint.

Answer 2

It would get on anyone's nerves!!!! She needs to learn some self control. How would she like it if you guys had a hot woman neighbor across the street and you waved at her and said you should kill her husband off? You get my point. And also, you should do your part in this to help her as well. She seriously has some issues she needs to deal with but you shouldn't encourage her to sleep with him and get it over with. She just might do it since she's so emotionally weak and physically weak - might I add.

To answer your question, yes, she can have a crush on him and not sleep with him...AS LONG as she doesn't start to have an emotional relationship with the guy. I think what you should do is make him your buddy first before he's her buddy. That way, he will feel some guilt and shame when there is some flirtation between him and your wife. If anything, he will confess to you in the event that something occurs which prayerfully it doesn't. Good Luck! And I think it is wonderful that you trust her!

Answer 3

You have to be confident, your wife loves you and would never cheat on you. She is just being playful and nothing is wrong with saying that someone is "hot", men do it all the time and comment on women on TV and there is ill-intent involved.

However

You should let her know how you feel if it's really getting into you and if it's tickling your insecurities and jealousy (admit it). You have to let her know in a NON-ACUSSATORY MANNER, meaning, not acussing her of cheating, wanted to leave you and bla bla bla (you have already tried that approach and didn't work).

Just tell her in the same way that you told us, you seem to be a very considerate rational gentleman so you can say this without hurting your wife's feelings and starting WWIII. You could say: Honey, the neighbor talk makes me feel unconfortable, I love you and it hurts to hear you talk about someone else even if it's innocent"... soething like that. Be firm and sweet. Don't laugh it off as she will continue thinking that it's ok with you.

By the way, if she would have ill intent then she would't ever told you about it. It's just being playful and what she really wants is your attention...sure now she got it!

Good luck

Answer 4

How frustrating. I bet it's made even worse by your wife feeling the need to tell you all about her attraction. You'll know something is up if one day your wife just magically stops mentioning the guy, or starts making an effort to not look anywhere near him.
It's possible for some women to have a schoolgirl crush and not act on it, but she's thinking about it, which is almost as bad.

Answer 5

Have you told her how much this hurts you or bothers you or do you just laugh it off?? If you dont say anything to her she thinks you are okay with it... If you make it clear to her that this is getting on your nerves she might realize she has to stop this behavior...

Women CAN in fact have "crushes," without actually acting on them, but if she is telling you things like "I should just go over there and kick his wife out" or " I should just sleep with him and get it over with," Just because we are with one man doesnt mean we only look at one man. We are more like men than you know. But when we say things like that we usually mean it....

Answer 6

Take off your shirt, put on a pair of shorts and see if the neighbor guy comes over and expresses an attraction for you. That might be a big turn-off for your wife.

Answer 7

News flash.... women are human too. They have the hots for others just like men....

You say that you trust her and you don't think she would do anything, that's good. But you said that she talks about he and joke about sleeping with him and this disturbs you. So tell her is bothers you.. tell her what about it disturbs you... and how it make you feel. and if that doesn't work ask her if she would like you to ask him about doing a wife swap for a night, then ask her how that makes her feel and talk how she feels and you feel .

Answer 8

Your wife is married, not dead. Of course she finds other men attractive. However, it is not nice of her to say it to you like that. The next time that you see an attractive women, say that she is hot and you would like to take her home. Believe me, your wife won't make such comments again.

Answer 9

She's just looking. Don't be insecure, I am sure you look at and admire other women, its the same for her. It doesn't mean she will act on it. If you trust her as you say you do then quit worrying.

Answer 10

Hey it's cool that she loves you enough to tell you her feelings. It's okay to express your feeling and thoughts with your husband/wife.