My girl and I found out a few weeks ago that she is pregnant. I am 24 and she is 21. She is scared to death of telling her family and them all disowning her or kicking her out. To be honest with you, they are very ignorant people. Her mom always gives her crap about everything and her dad considers her to be the baby of the family since she has an older sister that is 22. We already know that her sister is gonna be retarded about the whole thing. On top of everything, her family hates me with a passion already! We're both worried about what to do. We just wanna tell them and get it over with. Her dad is the "Over protective Italian dad type from Brooklyn". Im kinda a bit scared for my life. The biggest thing that upsets her besides possible losing her family is breaking her dad's heart...How can we tell them?
2006-08-21 05:16:39 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Just sit down and tell them there is nothing they can do about you two now and they will evently come along. Good luck
2006-08-21 05:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to show you are responsible adults by making sure at least one of you has a steady well-paying job and also getting your own place together (getting married also if you want). Seriously, I don't know these people, but you might try giving the knews like it's GREAT news. Like you're both sooooo excited to be having a baby together, and aren't they all happy to be grandparents and aunts and such. ;-) Really, why does a pregnacy have to be "bad" news? If they're still stuck in the 1800s, let that be thier problem. You two should be happy anyway; a baby is a wonderful blessing. :-)
By the way, I was 4 mo pregnant with my first when my husband and I got married. We dind't bother telling anyone I was pregnant until a couple of months after that. Both sets of grandparents were happy for us and they all love thier grandson who is 16 mo now and really cute. My husband and I are also expecting another baby now.
The very best of luck to you all, and God bless.
2006-08-21 05:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by doxhaelend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could do this two ways. One- sit down with her family and just tell them. Explain that technically she isn't a baby anymore, for God sakes shes 21. They will have to face the facts, they don't have to like you. It is not their choice who their daughter dates or has a child with. It will not do anyone any good to throw a fit or tantrum, it's not going to change anything. Or Two- which is send her mom the positive pregnancy test, with a note. I'm guessing that the first way would go smoother in the long run, but if shes really scared a note may be the better way for her to go. Either way, make sure that you are there for her the entire time. Believe me, however scared you are, she's about 100 times more scared than you. She gets to give birth :) and deal with her family. Congratulations and Good Luck:)
2006-08-21 05:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by **hope/faith**1744 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well lets see....first of all if you are 21 and 24 you are considered adults...now lets say it together A D U L T. If at this age you are both scared of telling her parents you knocked her up a child is the last thing in the world either of you need.
2006-08-21 05:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by Special Ethel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only advice i could give u is to tell them and assure them that, it was shocking for you two to find out, and that you two will take care of the baby, and each other, just ask for support in the pregnancy,if not I don't know, but do what you can so you don't have to go to them for money help. that will give them wood for the fire, it will always hurt a dad's heart when one of his baby's is going to have a baby, I was in your shoes i am the middle child but still i was held high on my dad's ladder. I was 18 when i had my first child. I hope i have answered you question if not email me at coolmom99_98@yahoo.com, and i can try to help more.
2006-08-21 05:32:05 · answer #5 · answered by coolmom99_98 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation with my first pregnancy. I grew up in a very religious home and knew that my parents would be upset when I told them. They also liked my boyfriend as a person, but were concerned because he was an alcoholic. Their response to my pregnancy was... You are our daughter we will love you no matter what. We are not mad, just a little dissappointed. If they love her like parents should, they will accept it and support the two of you. You will now be a part of their life forever whether they like it or not. Hope I helped and good luck.
2006-08-21 06:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by lookinout 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My god sister went thru something like this recently she's 19, she was really sick and her mom took her to the emergency room and they found out she was pregnant, she did not want to tell her dad. She later told him and he was very upset about it, but he was the one that bought all the stuff for the baby, everything is good now and he loves hid grandbaby to death. At first they will be mad but they'll melt once they see the beauiful baby. Good luck and the sooner you tell them the better.
2006-08-21 05:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by JENNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recommend that you tell them that you're going to get married before you tell them about the pregnancy. This will give them some assurance that you are going to be there for your girlfriend and your baby and give them a real family and home. Her family will not be happy at all if their daughter is just going to be your "baby mama." Your attitude about the pregnancy is what really counts. If you and your girlfriend are happy and doing the right things, then her family will come around eventually.
2006-08-21 05:27:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've gotten a lot of good advice here, but I don't think you should tell them by letter or note. You need to tell them at a sit down at the kitchen table. Other people who've pointed out you're both adults are right. And the one who said your gf should word it as "you can either hate me and disown me or continue to love me and see your grandchild grow" was a good idea I think.
(don't pick mine as best answer since I have no new advice lol, I just wanted to emphasize the ones I saw and agreed and disagreed with.)
GOOD LUCK
2006-08-21 05:37:58 · answer #9 · answered by blackolivesrule 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your both adults now, time to take responsibility for your actions. I know it's hard with an Italian family, but it's not like she can hide a preganncy forever. It will be better to get it out in the open and let them have a fit if they want and than just move on.
2006-08-21 05:23:21 · answer #10 · answered by Ericka K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice to you is to just be honest with them and tell them the truth and that (hopefully) you are getting married before the baby comes.
as for being scared for your life, there isn't much that i can do to help you in that department except to ask you how you would feel if you had a daughter and she was with someone you didn't like. Also ask yourself how you would feel if you had a daughter who ended up pregnant before she was married and settled.
Her parents are only trying to protect her from something like this happening and she doesnt understand it yet. Someday both of you will (hopefully)
2006-08-21 05:27:09 · answer #11 · answered by katie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋