we have a serious trust issue and much water under the bridge. We cannot afford counseling but need it badly. He is an emotional and financial abuser and a silent knight. Maybe I am too desperate?
2006-08-21 04:51:54 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whether your husband is important or the trust? for you.
After all nothing comes with you when you leave this world, including your husband.
When such is the reality of life, life is short and make it sweet.
It is in your hands now.
What you want is security for your life. See that you are not going to dogs by giving away that trust.
There are different meaning for trust. One is property and another is faith. What is that you are talking about.
If he is not trusting you, then there must be some thing we cannot understand as your question is not clear.
If you cannot use common sense and logic at this moment, you will lose him and the peace of mind.
Make the question clear and you will get a proper answer for your problem.
Be prepared for all the consequences, as it is your life and death problem. If I am right.
2006-08-21 05:53:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u would 1st have 2 b able 2 communicate. what is it that u do not trust about each other? how long have u been married? did u do something 2 make him upset 2 send him outta the bed room, or vice versa. perhaps he wants out of the marriage & just doesnt know hw 2 tell u. that could ba reason he is so silent. he just doesnt want 2 hurt outright. he thinks this is easier. or maybe u do. when u say emotional, does he verbally abuse u in front of friends or what? is he not allowing u 2 pay the bills, do u both work? there r many ques. that need 2 b addressed b4 a solid ans. can b given. do u feel like u would b a failure if this marriage was dissolved. i am here 2 tell u that all marriages do not make it. but b4 u or he makes any harsh decisions, b sure it is what u both want. this may not help much, but there r so many things i dont know. i do wish u both the best tho, in ur decision
2006-08-21 05:12:44 · answer #2 · answered by ladydi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, that really bad about trust issue and he won't talk about it and financial abuser... and very emotional.. wow, My wife really trust me so much and I never ever have plm with her and she and I talk about it and sometime I don't want to talk about it but when I am ready I will...
Other than that. You got to tell him how he feel and if you think that it might be worst then you need to pack up and leave and get a real break from each other until he beg you come back and you will have to tell him to tell me why should I come back and how can we make it work. and I will not live like this anymore. and you seem not care about marriage at all and me and all about you.
You have to be honest about this. and I think that what ever is the trust issue is need to be fixed first before next step. I do wish youluck and I am so sorry about this.
p.s. you not too desprearate just that your husband not doing any thing to make it better he mading it worst.
2006-08-21 05:08:21 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe there isn't some agency that offers free or low cost agencies. And YES, I DO think you are desperate. Why the hell do these women even marry abusers? Can someone tell me? Do they think the man will magically change once that ring is on his finger? Women are so stupid! So he's a financial abuser? Well, guess what? Since you are married to him you are ALSO responsible for any dept he runs up! When you are sitting in bankrupcy court I hope you think back to what I am telling you now.
2006-08-21 05:15:37 · answer #4 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can anyone answer your questions with such little input. What is the trust issue all about, does he support you? Do you justify something you've done to hurt him or throw it in his face? All of these questions could make a person want to be emotional and not want to give financial support to someone who doesn't show love or trust to them. Would you give money to someone who cheats on you? I can't tell with the info you've given weather your desperate or a *****. I would think by his actions hes already made up his mind.
2006-08-21 05:13:03 · answer #5 · answered by purplehays 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to keep your marriage, you both have to want to keep it.
Sleeping in opposite beds are only good if your I love Lucy or the Flintstones which was done to keep family values in tact for the TV audience.
Now if you have trust issues then obviously something has happen to betray the trust you both have.
I wouldn't stay with anyone who abuses me or disrespects me in any way and you might need a self esteem boost of feeling your worthy of being treated with dignity and respect and don't
have to feel that you are desperate by staying under desperate measures. Good Luck.
2006-08-21 05:05:20 · answer #6 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I split after 20 years two weeks ago. I don't think we have ever spoke so much to each other since we decided to part. We are still separating as there are issues that we both need to sort out away from each other. He has never mis-treated me in anyway, but all through our marriage he has cheated on me with one night stands. I have finally come to realize that there is more to life than hanging onto one man. Put some inspiring music on loud have a glass of wine and really think about what you would like your future to be like. Only you can do it and remember you deserve so much more!!! Good luck in what ever you decide to do.
2006-08-21 05:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter on how you are feeling and tell him how important it is to get the issues resolved Tell him how this type of behavior is unhealthy.... Is there a relitive or friend or church member that can listen to you? Just talking out loud to a third party can help.
If he is unwilling to change then the relationship is doomed, sound likes like it is very unhealthy for the 2 of you to be togehter.
Best of luck..
2006-08-21 04:59:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust and communication are the foundation of a good marriage, if you have neither of those I am not sure what is left for you. If you two can't talk then maybe it is time to end the marriage. That is no way to live.
2006-08-21 05:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense but it does sound like one.I feel really sorry for your situation and I don't know what goodness I can bring you by reading my notes.I wouldn't dare judge you more than the misery you're bearing now and so I ask myself wondering how long will it take for you til you finally bend & break?I'm pretty sure this incident isn't the 1st time in history but it does bother you nonetheless which is perfectly understandable.Maybe one day you'll get enlightenment and take that very first step to freedom,who knows..
As for me,I can only give you love&prayers that your soul won't fall apart.
You take care.
2006-08-21 05:04:43 · answer #10 · answered by cascadingrainbows 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋