How would you handle belittling and insecure friends?

Question

Certain friends will bait me into speaking freely about an issue or a person and will then use what I say to instigate conflict with other people behind my back. These friends will ask me questions about an issue, notice that I'm resisting talking about it, claim I'm being stubborn and secretive, but all the while will not share their own opinion about things. I've brought it up with them several times, but they still continue to do it for their entertainment.

These friends are constantly jokingly insulting me, which I try to end as quickly as possible. They pick on me, but not on each other or others. But, when I toss a few their way to get back at them they get sullen and upset. Little babies.

I hang out with them b/c it's hard to make new friends.

Answer 1

sounds like you are better off alone

Answer 2

Learn how to be a loner and ditch these losers. These are poor examples of "friends". You shouldn't be so dependant on others for anything. If you want social interaction, find a hobby that interests you and meet some persons at least that share some of your same passions. This sounds tres high school. If you are grown, this is just downright sad that you have put up with this crap so long. I don't give people like that a second chance to disgrace me. These are not your frineds, chap. Time to move on. Buy a puppy and raise it up with love. A dog is a true friend. More so than most humans.

Answer 3

From what i have read you seem like a great person i would love to have as a new friend,

Tell them exactly what you feel and ask them to be either more in tune with your wish not to discuss certain issues. or less two faced as lets face it your friends get off on it.

We all know the sort you see them on TV all the time self centered losers!

Firstly You need to get out be subtle,! and try harder and with a little confidence i think you will surprised how people will want to be with you ,

Oh dare i say on your terms!!!

When you have made new friends get your existing friends one by one together and When they start the old tricks just tell them to not involve you in there pettiness or find an idiot who wants to listen, be brave don't be rude don't get angry and stay calm and enjoy the look on there faces as you keep your emotions in check!

Rise above them but get new friend hunting now. good luck

Take care p

Answer 4

Hun, though it is hard to make new friends, i'm sure you can do it. You need to get rid of these people because it is plainly obvious, they are not your friends at all. True friends accept their friends beliefs for what they are, and are not always challenging them, just for the purposes of amusing themselves. If you are constantly having to defend yourself to these people, then you are going to get tired of it. Then, when you don't want to talk about it, they bait you anyway? Seriously, get rid of them, and your life will be a lot less stressful. Try joining a club or getting a hobby, i'm sure you'll make new friends in no time. It will get better. :)

Answer 5

First off - THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS!! Dont feel that you are so insecure that you have to hang around people like this. Its never hard to make friends. Thats all a mind thing. Making friends is one step to making yourself feel welcome in a group of people. If you have cousins that you can hang out with then do that, and all the milions of people that chat, you can easily find someone to talk to and chat with. You dont nessicarly have to find a friend to be around ALL the time. there are alot of people taht would like to have you as a pen pal, or a chat friend.
As far as your "friends" - they are sick and twisted individuals that need phycological help or needs to get thier *** kicked for taking advantage of someone who is very opinonated and well spoken and intellegent as yourself. Its also jealousy. they are jealous becuase you are your own leader, you speak clearly and you have your own mind. They, on the other hand, do not, so they make fun of you becuase they are immature and wish they could be as open and caring as you.
Leave them alone, seriously. The last thing u need, is a damaged self esteem and seriously broken heart by so called friends.
Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Stay away from them.It's not good for your psyche to be the one always put to blame and be the subject of condemnation all the time.Make a new set of friends.You should know that that shouldn't be a problem for you considering your pleasing personality.One day at a time so you don't get extra pressure laid on your shoulders of losing them and replacing them eventually.
That's the advantage of having friends,you have the freedom to choose whom you want and let go of those ones' that's giving you a negative energy.
Good luck,girl.

Answer 7

I have the same problem

I do my best to look at their background. No one has a reason to treat you that way, but how were they raised? A lot of the problems between my friends and me arises from the fact that they were raised with midwestern values, while I come from a city.

You might have to be direct and surprising with them. Don't insult them, but next time they ask about an issue, directly ask "why, how do you feel about it?"

If you've brought it up with them and they still continue to do it, maybe they're not friends.

Answer 8

Don't give your friendship away to just anyone. These people are using you for entertainment purposes, and I think you are aware of it. If you tell them to go **** themselves they'll either stop wanting to be around you, or they'll respect you for sticking up for yourself. And then you can walk away knowing you're not missing out on anything.

Don't be anybody's doormat, or that's all people will see in you. Try being nice to other people, and make some new friends. Get rid of the others.

You do shower, right?

Answer 9

Sometimes you have to make the decision to have no friends if need be. If they aren't bringing anything positive in your life then why have them around ? At least stop talking about certain things with them. Dont let them pressure you. Just say you have no opinion on the subject they are asking about. Use them for when you need them but keep things to yourself.

Answer 10

These people aren't your friends and they won't ever change. Its better that you change by finding new friends, no matter how hard that might be. People who insult you and put you down aren't worth the time and effort. Simply show them that your time is too valuable to waste with such immature behavior and move on to a more mature group of friends.

Answer 11

Thank god he's only your bf and by no ability your husband. How the hell can if take care of you that way and what the hell are you doing with him nevertheless ? no one in the international have good to abuse you bodily or mentally. And if he does than he dont deserve you or the different female. If that his nature than god help him. I do not forget that you want him yet than you cant positioned your self in such depressing difficulty being with him. He replaced because of you lot in 2 years yet nevertheless what number 12 months will he take to get wide-spread. and how lengthy you'll shop on shading tears because of him. you've earthed your self esteem and that i imagine self assurance also. you may want to you try this to you. seem sweet heart, its authentic he loves you and also you want him too, yet that doesn't mean yo want to shop taking position and down. you've you ever improve voice for your self. You dont deserve all this, good. you should have healthful verbal replace with him on agency foundation that if he maintains to be an analogous he's than sorry you could ought to flow on. As you stated he bodily abuse you so dont tell him this once you're on my own. shop another truthful pal alongside with you. Be well mannered yet be agency to boot. you want him so that you provides him one probability. yet when in any respect its not operating than its time to flow on infant. There are different solid people whom you deserve. the purely element is that you your self dont understand what you properly worth for. God bless you. each and every of the staggering pricey.