Want a divorce?

Question

I've been married for 17 years. We have 2 kids. I know my hubby loves me but i don't love him. I have decided that I would like a divorce - i need some help on how to tell him as i really don't want to hurt him but i need him to realise that i'm serious.
Thanks

Answer 1

there nothing we can do to help! Since you said that you don't love him, why don't you just tell him, you don't love him, and see what will he say, probably he will let go.

Answer 2

I think that you will hurt him but you also owe it to yourself to get out of a loveless marriage nad start living again.

Telling my husband was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and we hadn't been married anything like 17 years. But it had to be done and looking back it was all a lot easier than I feared it would be . Look after yoursefl first, make sure you have somewhere to go. Be honest with him, if there is no chance of a reconcilliation don't say it's a 'trial separation' if it isn't. Also be fair on him, can you get the kids off somewhere for the night and tell him at home? Telling him in a public place is tempting cos you don't want a scene but go easy on the guy, no man likes to cry in public. Don;t drink, try not ot just blurt it out, have tissues on stand by and a female friend you can call if you need to get out of there. Good luck.

As to the guy whose complaining about his ex wife, of course she worked - she made a home for you and looked after your kids didn't she. Can't think why she's leaving you!

Answer 3

Participating since 05/08/06.
No questions or answers until 22/08/06.
Hmmmmm. Anyway. Here goes.

Why did you get married.
Why did you have kids
Why do you want a divorce.
Why do you not want to hurt him

Answering the above yourself may help you answer your own question.

How old are the kids.
How do you fall out of love
How do you try to fall back into love
How do you avoid the most heart wrenching thing you can put yourself, your husband, and ESPECIALLY your kids through.

Once you've answered the WHY's you can then work on the HOW's.

Marriage is an on-going work of art. It begins, but the picture is never finished, just amended !

Answer 4

Have you recently decided you dont love him?? Why??

And have you sat down and talked about your feelings, maybe if you do that and air some of your thoughts you might have a marriage saving. If you dont love him i can understand to a degree, i dont agree with staying for the kids, because us women wouldnt want the men to stay because of the kids would we??

Do you think that we as a nation now give up easily as we think there is something better out there.

To be honest you need to talk to him about your feelings, without the word 'Divorce' coming up. remember why you fell in love with him. List all the good and bad points, you might find that when you think about it there are some good that you thought had gone I hope all goes well for you chicken.

Answer 5

I was married for 17 yrs and have 2 kids also. I just got divorced last yr. My ex husband loved me too but I had to get out.... for myself AND for the kids. There is no easy way to tell him. Someone is going to be hurt no matter what you say or do. The only thing I can say is that if you really want out..... then get out. Believe me it isnt going to be easy, but once its all over and things settle down you will feel much better about yourself. The best of luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 6

Dont be too hasty to get a divorce maybe some sort of marriage conciling might work. There are two children involved so try and fight for your marriage. If this help think about the first time you meet your partner, or when you first realised you love him 17 years is a long time and i think you would be hasty to end the marriage.

Answer 7

there no way for you find something that you don't want to hurt him but... you have to tell him stright up and yes he will be hurt. wow after 17 years of marriage and 2 kids how in the world did you married him first place. wow he wasted 17 years being with you and you not only hurt your husband but you hurt your 2 kids alot. Now though how lucky to have mom and dad who still been together for 17 years and now you called it quit?? good luck to you and I have no other way to help you.

You might want looked back and look at your kids and husband and weddingpicture and you tell yourself what you think and why.. then tell you husband and kids why you want divorce?? you can't just make up telling kids why.

Answer 8

Why do you care? No matter how you tell him the message is "I no longer want you or you as my husband". When you figure out how to sugar coat that one I'd love to hear it. Don't you think its about time to be honest with him? Pack up and move out. He'll get the message. Oh wait, don't tell me you want him to move
out and leave you with the kids ,house,bank accounts and no marriage. If you are serious move out. Don't worry about his pain.
You needn't start now.
Upon rereading your question the problem becomes clear, I, I, I, I.
There will come a day, hopefully very soon, that you will regret that you were willing to throw away a loving husband and family because you can only care about the beach in the mirror.

Answer 9

After 17 years you realize you aren't in love? What does love have to do with a marriage? That funny feeling we get when we are first attracted to someone is chemicals, we all loose that. Marriage is a commitment to stand against life as a partnership to help make both lives better.

After 17 years, you should be able to talk anything out, including telling him you are unhappy.

Good luck

Answer 10

Have you thought about losing your home?Divorce is very expensive and not as easy as you think especially with children inviolved. You have to have a better reason to tell the judge than you don't love him. If you still want to go ahead, talk to hubby, ask him if he is happy then explain how you feel, maybe you need to have time together as a couple to work things out.good luck

Answer 11

Don't get married. It's an outdated and inefficent cultural ritual. It makes people feel like they are imprisoned and ruins the little time we have in this meaningful, sensory world. If you really want kids, marriage is arguably the best way to raise them, but only if the marriage is from mutual love. Otherwise don't get married. Society is wrong in this one. Love is meant to be powerful, exciting and momentary.