we've been friends for 3 years and fortunately we've became more than friends for 5 months now... he's in miami right now... OOOPS.. HE'S A FILIPINO (pure! actually an ilocano) he's there for work.. he's turning 26 and i just turned 21... he's a mechanical engineer.. and im in my 3rd year in college,taking up nursing.. he'll be coming back in february... and he asked me to move with him... i mean here in manila... he wants me to finish studies and all the requirements i need for visa to US...
will i say yes? no?
2006-08-21 04:12:07 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
thanks for the time to answer my question... well im really confused to ask my mom about it (my dad died when i was a lil kid) and im the only girl... the baby of the family... it'll be hard for my mom and my 3 brothers... i love my family so much... i also love my bf...
2006-08-21 04:30:34 · update #1
well stanley, thanks for ur time... about my nursing field... yeah i know that sooner i will be facing those CGFNS,NCLEX,TOEFEL,TSE etc... i am fully aware of that...hopefully i will passed them all..
my bf is out when it comes to the US thing... i don't need his help actually... i have relatives living in west covina and manhattan...so im not using my bf as a passport to go to US... my bf is a filipino citizen... ;)
2006-08-21 04:44:52 · update #2
he did offered to marry me.. but i said "no" because it'll be hard for me... most companies prefer single employees...
2006-08-21 10:27:38 · update #3
You are totally hot. I would want you to move in with me too. But I believe in marriage. You know what they say the first baby could come anytime the second one takes 9 months. I had friend that tried what your talking about. She;s from the Philippines. This guy was her pen pal. It turned out that he has a wife and children in the the Philippines and just wanted to get married here to a U.S. citizen so that he could get his citizenship and get divorced and the petition his wife and children here, so proceed with caution.
2006-08-21 04:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might want to ask yourself a couple of questions:
1) Are you planning on going to the US in the first place? It's not a stupid question, really. Just because you're finishing nursing and preparing for the boards doesn't mean you really are planning on going through the whole CGFNS/USCIS deal, but one tends to assume that.
2) If you are going to the US, can you do it w/o your bf's help? IOW, do you have a good support system in the US once you get there (i.e., family, friends, classmates) that does not necessarily include him? And can you go through the immigration process w/o his status as leverage?
I mean, he may be a good guy and all that, but I've known a few girls who relocated to another town or part of the US just to be with a bf, only to break up w/ him later. Then what? Fortunately, they established a good circle of friends when they got to town and were able to pick up their lives.
In your case, we're talking literally halfway around the world. So, while I have nothing against following your heart, make sure you have a good fallback position just in case. And best wishes.
2006-08-21 04:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by CMass Stan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
moving in with someone here in Manila, I would say NO. First of all, your mom needs you, and it is still not socially acceptable in the Philippines. Plus you can fix your papers and everything even if you are not living together. Living in with him will just complicate things.... I think.
Lets just put it this way, if a part of you says NO or if something is holding you back, then DON'T. - this is what most people tell me, and so far I think they are right.....
2006-08-21 11:26:30 · answer #3 · answered by Keepingmycool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still continue with your relationship even if you don't move in with him. Take care of yourself in the meantime (which means, don't get pregnant!). Since you're still young, I would advise you to get your own place and live life your own way first. You will regret moving in with him because that would be the end of your independence and a large closet space. Try to experience having to decorate your own place and being free to just watch tv or eat on your bed. Enjoy your youth! Don't play a married couple if you're not ready to do it for real. And, you can always have a choice of where to go to. His place or yours! Have something you can call just your own.
2006-08-21 09:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by avenus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationship cannot be measured with the quantity but the "QUALITY" and you can achieve both even when you are not together in one roof. With the blessing of marriage and your parents, a successful relationship can be attained. Rushing is not the answer specially you are a student. Why did he asked you to move in with him at this point? Why didn't he offered marriage? I believe it is acceptable if you become engaged with him and move in. But move in to determine if you can click together and be married is questionable.
If he will not be a hindrance to your studying and propose marriage before move in.. I will say Yes but if it is all promises.... i wont hold on to that... but of course, follow what your heart leads you.
2006-08-21 06:51:05 · answer #5 · answered by spam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confused if you want to go with your bf or not....
When i first read your question, I assume that you really love your bf and your are torn between him and your family..but later on you said that your refused to accept his offer to marry you because you are not ready yet and being married will be a problem in applying for a job..
Based on the details you have provided, I would say NO..you are not yet ready..you still have dreams to fulfil..and I'm telling you., on your status right now..your career is your priority than your lovelife..
You dont want to regret later on, right?..IF he really loves you..he will wait..
2006-08-21 20:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
think really hard about it... 3 years of friendship is good, 5 months going steady makes you more comfy w/ each other...but moving in with him is a totally different matter... all your/his dark sides will come out (if there's any)... it might affect your relationship... why don't you stabilize your relationship first before moving in.. you're a pinay you know how parents value marriage, especially that your mom is widow... don't let her down... you only have one year to finish your course... you might not finish it when move in with him.... why not get married instead? if you can't live with each other, then it's much better to be married...
wag kang makipagbahay-bahayan... i know lotsa people are doing it nowadays... make your mama proud of you
2006-08-21 05:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by ?Kukay?® 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the best thing for you to do is build your career first. if you move in with him, there is a possibility that you get pregnant and it will be hard for you to finish your studies. and i think you're still too young to get married. enjoy being single first as much as possible.
of course, in the end. it's up to you ^_^
2006-08-22 03:48:39 · answer #8 · answered by belle♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move in for what? live like married people? you will take care of him, feed him, nurse him, pamper him ... etc. and you are to follow his wishes... Had he met your family? does he like your mom and your brothers? I doubt the motive but i can see what he wants and you know it. You know the culture of Filipinos ... wag na ibang tao ... mga kamag anak mo na lang dito ... will your mom not get hurt? It's up to you ...sabi nga buntot mo hila mo ... if your consfused and in doubt you know the way to Quiapo or other simbahans malapit sa inyo. Wish you luck ...
2006-08-22 04:51:32 · answer #9 · answered by marikit _ako 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey it's good for you. i think u should start talking to your mum now to give her more time to think and decide if she can allow you to move to the states.
also by telling her early it will give you the convenience of having good and positive argument about the impact of leaving the country and your family.
he's really serious and i believe he's a good guy. go ahead
2006-08-21 05:14:10 · answer #10 · answered by ssangyongs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋