Whats the definiton of a good man then?

Question

I have never cheated on the woman I was with, never went home drunk and beat her up, always looked after her, kept a roof over her head, went without myself so she and the kids had, etc,etc so where did I go wrong? 17 years later boom!!!! she's off like a bag of prawns in a heat wave,one month after divorce she marries some Polish guy

Answer 1

A hard man is good to find....sorry I meant to say a good man is hard to find.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear of what happened to you, it's just not fair. But, life isn't fair. You both probably got into a marital 'rut' and the love faded.

Your wife was dishonest and cheated on you, rather than talking to you and explaining what she needed. It sounds like there was a communication problem. Women want (need) more than just the practical things in life such as "...a roof over her head..."

Women don't want to be taken for granted and that is one of the biggest problems in marriages-- both parties take each other for granted. Women need romance and love, someone to talk to, someone to laugh with, someone who can really understand her and appreciate her, a husband that's her 'best friend,' and her lover, etc. If your relationship lacked those qualities, which it must have done, or she'd still be there, that's where things went wrong.

Don't beat yourself up over it, just make a mental note of these things and use this to better yourself. In the next relationship you have, make sure you apply what you've learned from your marriage. But most of all, don't allow this to make you bitter and twisted. Get out there and enjoy your life, it's the only chance you get. Best wishes.

Answer 3

Did she reciprocate any of your self-sacrifice? Did she spoil you and pamper you just as much (or try to) as you did her?

Then, if not she was selfish, and you did not "go wrong", you did everything right, what "went wrong"? HER..she was not good enough for you and you deserve better.

Definition of Good Man: What you described + (plus) 1 more thing: a good communicator, which I am not saying you were not but a VERY good man is someone you can trust to talk with anything or any worry about, your best friend, in other words, even if that something is not what they wanted to hear or may make them uncomfortable, a GOOD Man still listens and tries to be understanding.

Answer 4

Not your fault. Some women can't see a good thing when they have it. They get real antsy like some guys. And see only the good things you are doing. And for her there was no spark or drama in that lifestyle. Some ppl actually live off those types of things. I say go out and find a way better woman that can appreciate you for who you are and not run when there is no drama on the horizon.

Answer 5

Maybe you did all of that for her but maybe deep down she just didn't love you or want to be with you, maybe you didn't spend enough 'quality time' together. Did you take her out every one or two weeks, just the two of you? Have a laugh and a bit of fun?

Don't get down about it all though, if shes married to someone else then try and move on, its probably the best thing to do, for both of you.

And remember there isn't just one person out there for each of us... I'm sure you'll find someone else that will make you very happy.

You sound like a good man.

Good luck too ya

Answer 6

If Im brutally honest,which I usually am.She probably got bored.My man has all the qualities you have,and he can be a bit boring.But I worship the ground he walks on and would never cheat.I can say hand on heart I have never looked at another man since I met him.I genuinely feel for you,some women are just never happy with what they have got.Its a case of spicing things up,make sure being together doesn't go stale.I wish you every happiness for the future.

Answer 7

There is more to a relationship than providing and not beating up. There is listening, there is laughing together, there is having dreams and aspirations, there is making each other feel like the most important person in the world. If all I wanted was to be safe then I would sill be living with my parents.

Maybe the polish guy makes her feel wanted, needed, beautiful. Maybe he says romantic things, maybe he dares to dream.

Answer 8

Hate to be blunt on this,, but sometimes you have to "shake the sugar tree" a little. I am not saying you should have done anything unforgivable but just something a little different,, stay out late,, go to the strip club with just the boys. Something to make it exciting.

Your a one of a kind guy and most girls would love someone like you,, just don't fall into a rut of being the nice guy always. Make her work for you alittle,, if she knows you will always be there no matter what,, it gets boring.

Answer 9

You where just to good for her bro. Don't beat yourself up. Use the time you got and get a new one. Why she would leave you i DONT know. But she has. Move on you sound like a nice guy and the women can see that. Divorced and happily dating around. Same thing happened to me.

Answer 10

She never loved you. People marry for security purposes and Western Ideas people feel they have to marry before certain things happen so they wind up marrying the wrong person. Read about soulmates to get a better understanding of what I am talking about.

Answer 11

Sounds to me like you did all the right things , I have been married to the same guy for 32 years he has done all you have done , don't blame yourself for the break up it seems your wife changed , be you, as you will meet someone else and have another long relationship but you have to be yourself , you sound to me to be a very caring guy good luck x