Im bored in work - someone tell me a joke before I fall face first onto my keyboard and DIE !!!!?

Answer 1

why did the chicken cross the road?


to get away from the chicken-shagger

Answer 2

I used to have a Labrador retriever and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-mart and was in the check out line. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting the Purina Diet program again, although I probably shouldn't because the last time I had ended up in the hospital, but I had lost 50 pounds before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the nuggets are nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again. I have to
mention that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind the woman. Horrified about my hospital comment, she asked if I had been poisoned by the nuggets. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought that the black guy was not going to recover.

Answer 3

the headboy of a high school dates a girl of anither high school. 2 days before valentine day , she gave the boy a french kiss, well it was not what the boy has expected. On Valentine day, the girl received a gift which was still wrapped. Just to show off, she shouted my boyfriend's so nice unlike others. when she unwrapped it guess what she got? A napkin with the following:sorry,babe but i don't appreciate your sluggish kiss.

Answer 4

How rude do you want them?

Why did the pervert cross the road? He was stuck up the chicken's a***!
Which is the odd one out: a) Toaster b) Washing Machine c) Dishwasher d) Woman? a) Toaster - it's the only one that doesn't drip when f**ked

Answer 5

A guy walks into a pub with a dog and the barman says, "Sorry mate, only guide dogs aloud!" The bloke, unperterbed, replies, "It's not a dog, it's a locksmith."
The barman looked confused so the guy says, "I'll prove it." He puts his lighter under the dogs nether regions and it makes a bolt for the door!

Answer 6

This is my 5 year old nieces joke and its pretty funny
Why did the monkey cross the road?





Cus it was stuck to the chickens foot

Answer 7

This diet works! LOST 25 POUNDS AND NOT HUNGRY!?
my friend told me about it and he lost 35 pounds.





sounds weird but, you fill your pockets with dog chow. it has everything to keep you healthy in it already.
when you get hungry you snack on it. i don't know of any side affects from it, even though my friend died while on it.
nothing to do with the diet though, he sit down while crossing a street to lick his balls, and was hit by a car!

(3 days ago - 6 answers )
You can't

Answer 8

there was this guy on a plane the captain comes out and says to tell you the truth im a blackbelt and if you dotn give in to my homosexual urges ill make you jump out of the plane his friend says so did you jump? the man answers a little at first

Answer 9

of here's the joke young princess
u will definitely laugh

a man is walking on a street suddenly he fall

ha
ha halolloloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloloololololololololololololololololololololololololololololloloololololololololololololololololololololololololololo

i m dying
are u laughing???/)::)
ha
lol
lolloloololololololololololololololololololololololololololo

Answer 10

a man walks into a bar ouch
y did the elephant cross the road cus it was da chickens day off

Answer 11

if you do fall onto the keyboard and die, can we have a pic??? that would be a laugh...