She's been my friend for 12 years. I've never had a friend that long. She's a very kind, intelligent, & had good intentions. She went through a divorce a year ago. Before her divorce, her husband put her through hell for 2 years. I was always there for her, not really for advice, but just someone she can always call and talk to. Now, I'm the one with the relationship problems. When I call and talk to her, she'll listen to me for a while but then she'll start yelling at me. She'll say things like "don't put up with that!" or "you deserve better!" and will go off on me for a while. But, she put up with things & deserved better from her husband for 2 years. And my problems aren't nearly as bad as hers were. I have other friends to talk to, but I don't feel the closeness to them that I feel with her. I've tried not talking to her as much, but it hurts her feelings when I don't return her calls. I've tried not mentioning my relationship but it always creeps into the conversation.
2006-08-21 03:08:52 · 9 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i know she's your best friend and all, but she is definitely not the person to discuss your love life, since she has gone through a very bad marriage she will not find anything honest in love at least for sometime, you gotta stop telling her the probs in your relationship as she will only find more faults and make you doubt it 2 even if its a minor thing, i know is really sad not to have your best friend sharing yr joys and sorrows like a friend, but she id just being to protective and a lot bit selfish.
2006-08-21 03:25:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She 'yells' at you because she cares? Ask her to care a little less, then maybe the volume won't be so high. Maybe that's why her husband became such a pr!ck. Could you imagine if you LOVED you? She'd be screaming at you!
If she's that good a friend, then tell her you want her to listen to you, not yell at you.
2006-08-21 10:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't WANT you to go through what she did. For her, the final answer was to get out of the relationship, and that is what she is encouraging you to do so that YOU don't go through 2 years of hell. She yells out of frustration, and she doens't want you to learn the hard way, like she did.
2006-08-21 10:14:44 · answer #3 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bummer when she tries to solve your problems instead of just listening to them. Can you say, "I don't need a solution, I need your ear." Would that help? Perhaps talking about a problem in one way invites solutions. Is there another way?
2006-08-21 10:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see a counsellor, and be open with your friend. just cut the crap and lay it straight to her that you're not happy with the way she gives you advice. but, see a counsellor with your husband. good luck.
2006-08-21 10:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by Wisdom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She knows what your going thru and it hurts her, always listen to advice especially when they have gone thru something that you are going thru.
2006-08-21 10:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by JENNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kindly ask her not to shout at you and hoestly take her advice...sounds like she does know what she is talking abt!
2006-08-21 10:16:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
but she learned from her problems and doesnt want you to get hurt if your problems are that bad get out but if they can be fixed FIX THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-21 10:40:33 · answer #8 · answered by Eddie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to understand her sweety....^_^
2006-08-21 10:14:24 · answer #9 · answered by dynce018 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋