Talk to him instead of telling complete strangers. Seriously, that's the downfall of the LTR...if you don't communicate, you are in for a long, boring life.
2006-08-21 02:49:19
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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You had better do some major talking now because it won't get any better later.
My husband is like this.. he don't talk. he don't show love or attention unless he wants sex and then it is just I sure could use some lovin.
I have went through the change of life and don't really care for sex anymore but some affectionate attention would sure be nice with out him thinking he can have sex..
what i wouldn't give to have him sit on the sofa with me and just hold me ..It is a miserable life when they don't show attention and affection so talk it out with him.. maybe it will help you out.. tell him how it makes you feel when he don't show you attention and or want sex when you need it..
just need to talk. If he don't change or understand i sure wouldn't get married. You don't want to feel like this for the rest of your life
2006-08-21 02:55:20
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answer #2
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answered by Sandy F 4
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Well, people can suggest a whole load of gimmicks.... however, once you run out of gimmicks or energy, you'll be right back to where you are now.
Tell him it's not attention you want, tell him you just want affection. Tell him you want to be touched, kissed, held... treated like you're loved.
However, don't forget about his needs, and try not to nag him too much. Far too often, people get so caught up in their own situations, that they neglect to take into consideration the feelings of others.
It sounds like this is what he's doing to you.
More importantly, are you doing THIS to HIM?
If there was a point when he would hold you without you having to ask, what would prompt him to? What about him or you has changed? Has everything become too routine?
But hey, if he's a guy-guy and he's doing this to you, and you're doing EVERYTHING correctly, being considerate of his wants and needs, taking care of HIM, and he's still being like this..... then it sounds like an ego problem.
Burst his little ego-bubble.
Show him that you're something without him, or give him a reason to really want you.. one that'll last.....
And you'll see, he'll be right back with you.
Of course, no problems are one-sided.
I'm sure there's a reason why he does this, too.
It may not be all his fault, but yours too.
If all else fails, go see a couples counselor.
I can tell you this, if you're going to be feeling like this, and you're going to be married to him and doing this, then I kinda have a feeling you won't be married for long.
2006-08-21 02:53:48
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answer #3
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answered by RemyK 3
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Fact, romance and affection can cool as relationships get older, if we let it happen.
Give what you want in return. You can't stand around waiting for your partner to jump in. Begin slow, but do these things:
Show him love (anyone can say it)
Take interest in what he thinks, does or says - Learn and watch sports if that's his interest.
DON'T nag or complain ad infinitum
Do things special for yourself, fingernails, hair spa - the better you feel about yourself, the more you'll attract him.
Keep a smile on your face - no man likes to come home to a continual frown or complaint.
If you've let yourself go, get back in shape.
Laugh and be happy.
If feel ugly and unwanted, it's going to show on you and that's the fasted way to turn off a mate. Love yourself, look after yourself, reflect this love onto your home and mate. That's how you make a happy home.
2006-08-21 02:56:41
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answer #4
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answered by auld mom 4
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Hell just like you are telling us out here in Yahoo! Answers world! Communicate, thats the first thing. Tell him honestly I don't think this will work for a long time if you aren't loving with me and affection b/c I am young and vital ad need someone that is going to express to me in words and physically actions how much he loves me and desires being with me all the time. You hear, don't back down from that. If you do things might go down a **** river without a paddle!!! Sex is important, trust me!!!
2006-08-21 03:09:19
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answer #5
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answered by lasugarfree 4
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I used to be in the same situation...but you have to think why he may not want sex. Is it because you don't look or act as sexy as you used to? If you are not getting the attention at home then you should just get it else where...i mean you can still flirt and get attention elsewhere and maybe it'll make you feel better about yourself and he'll want to have sex with you...sometimes...it may be us that makes them not want to have sex with us...meaning we act bitchy or depressed which isn't really a turn on for them..Try doing nice stuff for him and see what would turn him on more..
2006-08-21 02:50:32
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Begging for sex? Hun that is really sad...
And if you are feeling ugly & unwanted then why on earth would you get married. Please don't. Imagine feeling uglier or more unwanted... that's what will happen if you get married.
Sweety when you love someone you automatically show love & affection, & don't need to be begged for it.
I'm sorry... don't get married unless you can sort this out... permanently.
2006-08-21 03:08:20
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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You have already talked to him. Personalities do not change. Are you marrying for money, security or love? He probably will not change. You probably will not either. Tell him you are going to get hugs and kisses somehow. Tell him how many. If he is not up to the quota he should accept that someone will step up to the plate. Maybe he wants you because you are a good cook. Good cooks can always use bigger pots.
2006-08-21 02:53:39
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answer #8
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answered by jude2918 3
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Before you get married you definitely need to address these issues. I suggest going to couple counseling. If he wont go and wont listen to your feelings then maybe it is a sign that he isnt right for you. Everyone goes through a dry spell in a relationship, you just dont want it to continue the rest of your life. Counseling is far cheaper than getting a divorce later on in life...... Trust me.
2006-08-21 02:49:44
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answer #9
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answered by Jenny 4
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You have to beg for sex from a man? Something is definately wrong here, it's usualy the other way around. Try cutting him off from sex, spend more time with your friends doing things without him, maybe if you pay less attention to him, he will pay more attention to you. If that doesn't work, try doing wild, crazy, unexpected, uninhibited sex and sex acts. He may be bored with sex if it is predictable. Blow his mind, he'll want it more and pay more attention to you.
2006-08-21 03:15:24
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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put off the marriage, your gonna end in divorce after you find affections from someone else.
if you have to beg for it now, just think what its gonna be like in 4 more years
Marriage is about caring, understanding compassion and love
and if they are not all there then it ill be a very dismal end to a marriage that should have been avoided til they are all there.
Goto a marriage consellor and sex therapist
2006-08-21 02:53:34
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answer #11
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answered by free2chat_tou 4
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