babysitting help?

Question

I babysit for this family with 2 boys, a 3 year old and a 6 year old. the 3 year old loves me and does anything I say(thank god), but the 6 year old hates me. He doesn't know me as well because he isn't home as often as the little one, and isn't as close to me. Whenever I tell him to do or not to do something, he ignores me and tells his brother to do the same. I've tried threating and bribing him, but neither worked. How can I get him to listen to me?

I told his parents

and I know why he doesn't like me- I play with the younger one more because I don't like to let toddlers play without supervision

He's as strong if not stronger than me so it's hard to get him into the corner

the younger one no longer naps, so it is hard to find time to spend with the older one

i was hired by the family to be a mother's helper for the younger one after backyard camp, but sometimes I babysit for them at night, when both are home

Answer 1

ok smart girl this is how I would approach it - talk to him straight out - tell him that no you are not his mother but yes you are responsible for him and you aren't going away. (his anger towards you is probably directed to the fact that he would prefer having his mother be there instead of you) say to him these words -" Wouldn't it be great if your mom could be here instead"
we are going to have to work things out and i know you would prefer having your mom home - it's kind of frustrating right?" Acknowledge his feelings that he has to take orders from a stranger and that's not such a nice thing to do - acknowledge that all day long he has to listen to his school teacher and now you too.

Answer 2

I babysat for the most horrible 5 year old and her baby sister. Things really sucked until I started to ignore her bad behavior and played with the little sister. I would get snacks and set up fun activities with the younger one and when the older one asked where her's was I would tell her when she acted the right way with me then she would get the same treatment as her little sister. Many times I would have to move the two of us away from her because of her extreme tantrums. I would still keep her within sight and watch her without her realizing, She couldn't know that she had my attention otherwise she would keep up with the fit. It didn't work right away but over time I won.

I stayed as their babysitter for 5 years until I got a regular job. Her mom wondered why she listened to me more than her. Some kids you have to be tough with. Many don't hear the word no too often these days and are used to getting away with murder.

Answer 3

Well, I read some of the other answers people have given you and the only one to really give you any advice worth a damn is rastus, but that is not all you can do. To be honest, I am glad to hear that none of the people answering this question are telling you to "report it Dr. Phil" or "call for SuperNanny", Doing so is down right dumb.

Anyways, teach him that he must listen to you because you are in charge of him. There are several ways to do so.

Speak with his parents - Let them know what he does when they're not around. Explain to them that you do not like being treated like that and most importantly, if you haven't done so already, find out what types of punishments they find suitable for disciplining their child. Just remember: In the parents' eyes, their child does no wrong. [Mostly a spanking in households are considered "child abuse", so as much as you might want to hit him (and I bet you do), it would be smart to refrain from taking that type of approach.]

Moving along, if he disobeys you in any way, take an appropriate reaction to his action. (i.e the dog wets on the carpet, you rub his nose in it). I'll let you be the judge of what to do on this one.

Follow through with your actions - As some said, "Don't warn the child of you're going to do, just do it," is not the way to go. You want to warn the kid about the boundary you have set. In doing so, he knows what you find (for lack of a better word at the current moment) wrong and if he pushes that limit punish him. The key to this is to, by the end of the punishment, make sure he knows you mean business; that when you say no, no means no.

One final thing. You say that he is able to overcome you physically. How old are you? How small is this kid? And How is he able to overcome you?

Answer 4

What do you have against toddlers learning how to entertain themselves? A child should be allowed to play independently, that's part of the growing process. Get out something like "legos" and have the three year old create something while you spend time with the 6 year old. Babysitting doesn't mean to literally sit on the kid.

Answer 5

When I was young I used to baby sit a couple's son and daughter. Every other sitter they had used to have issues with the kids. 15 mins after the parents left it would be romper room and they wouldn't want to listen. I started bringing this huge canvas bag filled with glue, macaroni,clay finger paints etc. I even brought paper to cover the table. We'd sit down and do crafts and stuff while their parents were gone. They loved it. Both kids are at the age that they should be able to enjoy these activities. The kids thought it was neat to hand over thier projects to thier parents as presents when they got home. It was cool to do seasonal oriented themes with them .Try to keep him busy. He could be acting out because he's bored.

Answer 6

find out from the parents what type of activities the 6 year old likes and try to plan something special for him, but you may have to let the other children participate as well . .

you have to find a way to make a connection with him . . try to spend more "constructive" time with him . . and less time telling him what he can't do . . . have some fun with him too . . he may be at a point where he is resentful of his younger siblings because they get more attention than he . . find a way to make him feel special . . .

Answer 7

well when you go over there when its time for meals let him make his own plate let him fill his glass and spill it all over the place do it until he cracks or if that doesnt work then you could make a game for all of you to play like tag or hide and go seek or somthing or do colering. If your aloud then go let him ride his bike aroud the park or in the drive way. One final thing do somthing that you know he loves and dont invite him to do it with youand as for the youngest you are much stronger then him so if he missbehaves then give him a good wack you know where, same for the 6 year old punish him with a time out or a real hard spanking
good luck with baby siting

Answer 8

You are gonna have to lay down the law. Put him in time out, in the corner, take things away that he enjoys, such as t.v. time, game systems, you are gonna have to get strict with him so he knows you mean business. Tell the parents and have them work with you on this as well, that is a big help. They may even have some ideas you could try. Don't bribe or threaten, that's gonna be the worse thing to do in the long run.....I tried that once and SO regretted it. So it's probably good that it didn't work out. Good luck to you, I know how exasperating this is.

Answer 9

That 6 year old sounds like my 3 year old! I feel your frustration! Don't just threaten, follow through with what you say...like if you tell him to pick up his toys and he doesn't, then put him in time out for 6 min (since he's 6)...you can't threaten to punish him but then not do it...talk to his parents about his behavior and what punishment is acceptable to them and go from there. And don't bribe him, that will come back on you in the end...he'll expect something from you every time he does something he should be doing anyway...not good! Hang in there!

Answer 10

He probably feels like you like the little one more. Play a game they BOTH like to play. When the younger one naps spend alone time with the 6 year old. Tell him why you spend more time with the little one. I tried this and it worked. Mine was a 5 year old and a 2 yr old.!