tell me....?

Question

a relationship is at risk when letting someone know that you love him, should one say it when you dont wanna loose him and you know that you will loose him if you let him know your feelings?

Answer 1

If telling him you love him makes him leave, then he doesn't love or care about you. If it's a relationship then it's a "casual" one at best.

Answer 2

Simple, there is no relationship.

The very term relationship means that he would be open to hearing what you feel and responding in a kind, loving and honest way with his TRUE feelings. This is the kind of thing you figure out BEFORE you have sex.

Which by the way, he has conveyed very succinctly by letting you know you may lose him if you tell him you feelings.

Translation: He doesn't want to love you, he just wants to get some.

Answer 3

I dont think a relationship is ever at risk: what is at risk is your own attitude when you are with that person: if you start feeling insecure about your feelings and bottle everything inside then the relationship automatically gets affected....

Anyhoo, i believe that 'if you love someone, set them free: if they come back to you your love is true and if they dont it wasnt meant to be'

So if you end up losing him after youve said those 3 words: then there is someone else out there for you....someone who will appreciate those words

Answer 4

I always let the man fess up first, that way if I lose them before he knows how I feel, then he never knew and I never put myself in the possition of him knowing and hurting me anyway. You have to protect yourself first, I know what it is like to have feelings for someone and not know if they feel the same and all you want to do is tell them and get it off your chest and be able to tell yourself that its ok because you just know the feel the same way. Take your time, it doesn't sound like you have been in this relationship to terribly long..... and if you ARE going to lose someone because you tell them that you love them......... and you know this or at least you know that it is a great possibility, then why even bother to continue the relationship? That only means that this person isn't allowing anyone into his heart and he isn't ready by a long shot to be committed to one person........ and chances are you are the one that he spends MOST of his time with, but he is still keeping the door open for dates and what knots with other ladies. I suggest you do the same or your the one that is going to end up hurt in the long run. I hope you wise up and make a right deccision for yourself concerning this paticular man. Blessed be.........

Answer 5

It depends are you using these words for the first time in a way to manipulate them into staying? You need to embellish on these words if you saying it to not lose them. Just saying I love you leaves the person helpless. How are they suppose to respond. If they do not answer I love you too, they are scum. If they say it and do not mean it they are scum. No win situation. If you are going to say these words then other words must go along with it. Like "No matter what happens between us I will always love you." or I don't care if you feel the same about me as I do you but I love you" this gives the person a chance to breathe. Let's them know your feelings as well as your intentions not to manipulate them.

Answer 6

I was in the same situation until last night. My guy has been very straightforward to let me know that he didn't believe in love and hates the idea of commitment due to all the pressure that comes with it (his words not mine). Well, I'm a very emotional person who speaks her mind, so you can only imagine my dilemma when I fell in love with him. I wanted to tell him, but I was terrified it'd run him off. Well, I couldn't stand it anymore and I told him. To my surprise, he felt the same way, but because of his previous comments he was afraid to say anything. He was afraid I didn't feel the same way and he'd run me off.

The point to my rambling is that you never know. In a relationship you need to be honest (even about feelings) or it's already beginning to fail. But it's your choice.

Answer 7

NO!most guys can't or don't know what to do when you tell them you love them. or there not emotional equipt to handle love. i heard this from a guy, don't or never let a man know how much you love them because then and there they will use it agains you.as the jamaican saying goes a cow don't know the use of him tail until him loose it meaning that a person don't know what they have until them loose it

Answer 8

Hi Scarlett,

I think you should hold off telling him for a little while longer, maybe he'll end up feeling the same way about you. If he doesn't realise he loves you, then it isn't worth your time or energy trying to convince him he does. Also, loose means, not tight. I think you meant to write lose,as in to not have.

Answer 9

look, if u really love him and u feel very strongly that he loves u, go ahead and tell him , but i don't like the girl to start that . let him start first . other wise , don't take the risk . try to keep your relation ship with him as close as enough to let him feel your feelings. and don't say the word " love " to him until he does.

Good Luck

Answer 10

Can you continue being friends with him although your feelings are more than just that? If you're certain that you will lose him when you tell him how you feel, then its really your choice.
However, do consider that if you continue to be a friend to him, then that friendship is based on pretense.
But if I were in your place, I'd tell him how I feel. If I lose him, then its really not meant to be. At least my misery will end.

Answer 11

If you really have "true" (that means if your sure you love him not just infatuated with him) feelings for the guy, like love you should let him know. It's not good for you to keep stuff like that inside, and yeah sometimes it helps to let people know that you love, they tend to want to be around you more. Unless you have a man whore who just wants sex.