He has told me he hates me, and other times he says he loves me. WHat should i believe?
2006-08-21 01:52:33 · 20 answers · asked by Broken_Inside 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have finally gotten away from him. but he is going to court to try to regain custody of me!!!
2006-08-21 03:00:00 · update #1
I was abused when I was younger mentally and physicality my father drank after work and when he came home look out but I held my own and when I got to the age of 22 I let him have it for all the things that he had done to me told him from the start blacking my eye , hitting my till I could not sit on my fanny , throwing my out windows , table of hot food landing in your lap so no one got to eat that night , standing up in a corner all night to sleep , I could go on but I'll stop as I got older I came to realize that his Father did that to him and his Father before that did that to them so that's all they knew but I stopped that I never did that to my kids and I'm glad I stopped that chain I can tell you that I love my father and he loves me I can talk to him about any thing now that I'm 45 .I hope and pray for all things to change for you God bless you
2006-08-21 02:24:19 · answer #1 · answered by Libra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your father was an alcoholic, would that mean he hated you?
No, one has nothing to do with the other although it may seem that way.
Abusers have an illness. They usually were abused themselves and now are passing on the illness to the next generation the same way children of alcoholics are more prone to becoming alcoholics themselves.
I'm sure your father loves you, but he is also sick. He needs help as well as you do. I would not want to see you grow up to become an abuser or look for someone to abuse. You need counseling from a professional to make you understand that being abused is not your fault and that you are a worthy and lovable human being just as good as anyone else.
Talk to someone. Talk to a teacher, school councilor, a minister, a social worker, a neighbor... please tell someone. You have a whole life to live and you deserve your chance at it.
My heart goes out to you. I pray for you and hope that your life will change for the better.
2006-08-21 09:05:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you can never control another persons actions. Im truly sorry to hear about an abusive dad. Know in your heart that he really does love you, but probably has a hard time expressing it. Your father is really ****** up. Know that you are still an awesome person and worthy of being loved. My dad was really abusive. I chose to have sex with alot of guys, but in the end I just felt worse than before. So with that in mind dont start doing things that you might regret later. Im married happily now, and my father has changed and now we have a wonderful relationship. Hope for the best, and the most important thing is to keep yourself in check, and keep your spirits high. Look to friends and other relatives for comfort, everything changes with time.
2006-08-21 09:03:25 · answer #3 · answered by Rae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should believe that he is emotionally sick and needs help. He probably can't tell the difference between love and hate, and it may well be because his father was like him.
If you are a minor, tell someone about the abuse so he and you can get help.
If you are an adult, get some therapy so you will not pass this behavior on to anyone else and to come to grips with how it has affected you.
2006-08-21 09:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by thylawyer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone comes into this world deserving parents who love them, and who desire for their kids to grow up healthy and strong and capable. Unfortunately, this is not what everyone gets. I'm so sorry that this is the case for you. Please remember that this is what your father SHOULD be, caring, loving, kind, supportive. Any failure to provide those things to you come from HIM...not YOU. It is not your fault, it is his failing and you have to be above that and recognize that in this life, you didn't get the best start, but you can carry yourself on the best path for yourself despite that.
Don't worry about believing him or not. He is screwed up. BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!! You are the only one you can always count on. Good luck.
2006-08-21 09:04:09 · answer #5 · answered by teachinmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll say this, just because someone has a genetic connection to someone does not instantly make them "family". You can have friends that are closer to you than any family member ever was. If he's treating you that way he has deep emotional issues and you'd be better off without him in your life.
2006-08-27 22:33:32 · answer #6 · answered by Child of the 80's 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is too sick and damaged to love anyone. It is never about you. It is always about him. It may be that he will be able to love you someday with some professional help, but there is nothing you can do for him. Get help for yourself. Don't perpetuate the sickness. Good luck and may God bless you!
2006-08-21 09:10:10 · answer #7 · answered by connie_mspt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe that he is a sick man and needs help. What he has done is wrong. You are innocent of any wrong doing regarding his behavior.
You need to get away from him. Protect yourself and keep your kids away from him (when you have them).
Do everything in your power to stop this from happening to the next generation.
2006-08-21 09:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by mykidsRmylife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs help.... He may not even know , he tells you that he loves you so he can do what he wants to you. Tell the courts what he has done. They are there to Help YOU... be strong. There are people that care.
2006-08-28 15:24:46 · answer #9 · answered by T1Vixen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is trying to control you so he can continue to abuse you. people like that have no love inside. get help & learn to love yourself first & learn to forgive your father. but do not allow the abuse to continue
2006-08-28 15:13:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋