I have just had my heart completely broken by ex and thought i could never believe in love again. but suddenly my dearest, best friend who i've loved for 13 years says he wants us to give it a go, this is the first time we've both been single at the same time and he says he had to say something before he missed his chance. it would be a long-distance relationship to start, not giving up everything for a man again. can this work or is a 13yr friendship too much to risk, i would be devastated to not have him in my life, my son is even named after him. don't want to rush into anything, but don't want to miss chance for true love either. how do i know if it's the real thing? my ex fooled me so badly, am scared to believe...
2006-08-21 01:26:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We take risks every day. We cross a road even though we may get hit by a truck. If there is a possibility of getting hit by a truck, do we never cross a road? Love is the same, you do run a risk of being hurt again....everyone does. The only way you can know for sure that you wouldnt be hurt is to get inside his head and you cant do that....The best any of us can do is to trust, but dont trust blindly. If you want this man then you have to decide to believe that he will not hurt you because if you go into this relationship thinking you will be hurt, then it is unfair to him, as well as to you. If you hang onto what your ex did, then you will find it extremely difficult to really love someone again, and they will find it hard to love you because you are not giving all of yourself.
If this man is worth the risk, then go for it. If it is too hard and your heart is too broken, then dont do it because you wont be whole for this man, and thats unfair to him. I am sure you have heard it said that not all men are the same. I would just like to ask you how you would feel if the situation was reversed and the man you were keen on had been hurt and didnt trust. You would feel upset that he didnt trust you enough to believe the things you were saying.....the same applies to this man probably. You have to find trust again if you are to find love.
2006-08-27 21:12:01 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing for you to do at the moment is to enjoy your single life for a while. Don't jump into anything unless you are quite sure.. Tell your good friend that you care for him very much but you are confused at the moment and need sometime to think things over.Sometimes peoples hearts get broken so badly they are not thinking straight and act on the next best thing that comes along. I'm not saying that you are not meant to be with him i just feel you would be better off giving it sometime. Considering the circumstances im sure he would understand. To loose a friendship of 13yrs would be devastating to both parties.
2006-08-21 09:39:02 · answer #2 · answered by mermaiden_4_ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've just got into a relationship with my best friend of 3 years, and right now, after a month, it's going awfully. I'm completely depressed and she's acting like we've never met, probably because she's scared of a "serious relationship" generally. I'm finding it so hard to argue with her about it because she won't open up and it's mega-difficult.
Still, I absolutely adore her and I'm believeing that soon enough, things will fall into place. I'm just waiting for her to "adjust", but at the moment, as much as she tells me she's "adjusted", I can't believe it because she's not herself.
My opinion, still, is risk it. He likes you. He'll feel rejected and hurt if you say no.
2006-08-21 09:09:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just the way that I felt when my best friend of 5 years and i fell in love. I knew that I loved him for months before I showed it (and I knew that he was felling the same). I lost so much sleep and was so sick in my stomach with nerves wondering if I should tell him how I feel. I finally did one night and that was 9 years ago and two sons later we are still best fiends and I have NO regrets!! Its a gamble but if you win, its worth everything
2006-08-26 18:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by aly_girl501 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i live with my friend. we have been together for 9 years and still going strong. the reason that we have been together this long is because we knew each other as friends first.
we have a foundation that is really strong. we talk -- about anything and everything, no matter that it will make the other one mad or not.
looks and sex arent whats important in the long run. its being able to communicate and laugh together that keeps you together.
i guess that i can say that if we hadnt been friends and liked each other for who we were, we would never have made it this far.
all i can say is that neither of us are going anywhere. we have been through hell and back and we are still going strong.
2006-08-25 17:49:28 · answer #5 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best relationships are formed when you start as friends. Do you think he will be your friend if you reject him? I hate to tell you but your friendship is ruined. That's OK because you could get something a whole lot better. Go for it !! You have nothing to lose.
2006-08-21 08:45:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How will you know it if will work or not if you will not give a change to show your love and spend time together. 13 years a long enough to be bestfriend, i think thats God willing that you to be happy for the rest of your lives. Thats all I can say. Good luck and God bless.
2006-08-28 04:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by mrs. t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in a 5 year friendship relationship right now. and its not going good. TRUST ME ITS TO MUCH TO RISK. they'll fall in love with you. and then "just friends" will never be an option again. trust me if all you were was just friends. then thats all you should be..
im not trying to be mean. BUT ITS NOT WORTH IT
2006-08-21 08:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by jill_emerson120405 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are still dealing with a broken heart, i think you should give yourself some time to heal and gain confidence on your own. you are tempted by perfection. it would be perfect to be in love with someone you have known for 13 years. however, it is unfair to both you and him to start something now, especially if you are still trying to get over someone. trust me, it's okay to be single for awhile.
2006-08-27 03:29:40 · answer #9 · answered by CaramelKidsMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. But go slow and enjoy.
2006-08-21 08:36:37 · answer #10 · answered by moonlite1us 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋