been with my man for 9 years and over the last 2 years he dont care about himself or his body, he is now a big man, an has a lot of stretch marks over his body, i keep thinking that if he dont start to look after himself, he will end up haveing health problems, later on in life, we dont have sex anymore unless he gets mad at me, and then i do, i have spoken to him about all of this many times, but he still dont care, please help me in what you think i should do
2006-08-21 01:11:53 · 14 answers · asked by louise 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My man is over weight too! He is 365lbs. But I love him just the way he is. The difference in the two of them is that my man takes care of himself he bathes twice a day in he keeps his hair cut and always has a fresh shave. he also knows that he is over weight so he walks everyday and watches what he eats. All I can say is that maybe you should take him to buy some new clothes & get him a hair cut and even buy some new cologne. It might help his self esteem. (men are babies! Sometimes all they need is a womans touch, a little spit shine from you can only help him! SO HELP HIM HELP HIMSELF!! THAT IS IF YOU LOVE HIM & IF YOU THINK HE IS WORTH IT!!
GOOD LUCK!! REMEMBER ITS BEEN NINE YEARS!!!
2006-08-21 02:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by dj 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you are not being mean, just realistic.
Remember, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Your 'man' has let himself go physically and this is an indication that he no longer cares about himself. When the body goes, the mind soon follows. When he gives up on himself, he will give up on you as well.
Unfortunately, you can't force someone to change... They have to want to do it for their own self.
I am in the same boat!
2006-08-21 08:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by crazyotto65 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Losing weight is like drinking no one can make you stop drinking unless you desire it or make you lose weight. I don't get why you have sex when he gets mad at you. If he is a turn off because of his unkemptness then just tell him I am sorry but I don't feel attracted to you in this condition. Also if you make the dinner then try to make more healthy foods and just look after your self with exercise and do good things for yourself maybe your good health habits will rub off on him..
2006-08-21 08:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by lost_soul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a sticky one must say, but why are reducing ur sex life for that this makes man really frustated never do that. what you can do is mke him read something that says about the health problem that he may suffer from yet is if he doesn't listen then i think u dont have any other way out except wait till he himself realizes may be if one of his friends may comment on it will make him realize that he should do something about it. good luck.
2006-08-21 08:21:28 · answer #4 · answered by scarlet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best if somebosy with experience will help u. i hv never been in such long and seriouis relation. but when i look at all couples, even parents or friends who r so long with each other they sometimes loose something. and it is always fault of both of them. why u don't do sex any more!! sex is so important for man. like for me it is all cous u let him to feel so normal with u. he stoped to care himself cous he knows u will be with him, he is too sure. then he doesn't try any more. if i would be on ur place yea would play with him. but make him feel u liked him more when he was caring himslef. ok i really dunno just wondering. and that i m the most afraid always that ater long relation man become like that. old bored fat guy...
2006-08-21 08:24:00 · answer #5 · answered by kolo molo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you two si doen and tell him honsetly what you think of his behaviour and keep doing so ubtil he changes. If this does not work, you may have to find a way out because this could strain you and your relationship.
2006-08-21 08:18:13 · answer #6 · answered by answerhog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you married? If not, leave. He will only get worse. Perhaps when you're gone he might wake up and do something about himself, but right now, he's not gonna change.
2006-08-21 08:17:47 · answer #7 · answered by Ya-sai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not good at this kind of relationship, but i think you should talk more with your husband, maybe he had some problems with his personal life, work, or to people? and he's just scared to talk it with you. maybe also, you also have problems with your family, or maybe there's a problem with you also? (sorry if i sound rude or mean?) just talk to him about personal things, maybe you'll find out what's in his mind or bothering his life?
I do hope that my answer can be a help to your relationship.
2006-08-21 08:24:53 · answer #8 · answered by dualcore05 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one but i am aware how you feel!!!!my hubby is overweight -- like 300lbs. i just encourage him in the best way i can. maybe he is just not caring because something is missing in your marriage. the only way most people change is because there is a problem in their life and are depressed. one thing is controlling the food flow in the house. good luck!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-21 08:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by caroline k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are not happy with the relationship then its time to move on, you have told him how you feel but if he refuses to make the changes needed then he obviously doesnt care about your feelings. i know it sux but moving on may be the only way for him to learn. good luck
2006-08-21 08:19:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋