What does a career woman do when she's pregnat?

Question

I am considering trying to start having a baby soon. I want Children soon and so does my husband. I am getting close to 30yrs old and been married 7yrs. The thing is I just got a new job 6 months ago and I really love it. I want to continue climbing the corporate ladder for some years. I don't think I'm cut out to stay at home for a while. I'll go crazy. My mom lives a bit far but could take care of a baby while I work.
Anyway, how long does it typically take to go back to work after having a baby? How does your life change? Special considerations before making this decision? How soon should I tell my employer?

My husband makes twice as much as I do when he is working but his career is a bit unstable. He has been laid off 3 times in the last 5 years. I have never not worked and I need to make sure I have insurance etc.

My mom taught school before and after I was born but shortly after was an IT manager for 20 years. She is a fabulous mother AND was good at her job. After being laid off last year, she decided to try staying at home a runs an ebay business. She has time to take care of a grandbaby now. I'm sure you CAN do BOTH.

Answer 1

Consider several options: Adoption is one. While you would still have the baby/childcare issues, you would not have the pregnancy/recovery issues. I'm only mentioning it in case it's something you haven't considered. Most folks do want to have their *own* child if they are physically able and that's understandable. But if you ask anyone who's adopted, they don't feel their child is any less "their" child because they didn't genetically create them :)

Climbing the corporate ladder is still a possibility, although there may come a time you have to decide what your priorities are, based on how much time and energy the job will take from your husband and child. If you're not *cut out to stay at home* consider a nanny (au pair), live-in if possible. This would give you the comfort of knowing your child is not being shuffled about with 12 other babies in a day care setting and also the security of knowing that home is home. I would recommend using an agency and a "Nanny Cam" if you choose this option simply because you just can't be too safe when it comes to your child.

If your mom can do the babysitting, that's wonderful... but make sure you're not asking too much of her. You might want to consider a situation where your mom watches the baby 3 days a week and you have another option for 2 days a week. This would help to ensure your mom wouldn't burn out on grandparenting by taking full-time responsibility for the baby while you work. She's raised her child. She needs some free time now of her own, no matter how much she loves you and any child you might have :)

On recovery time... most corporate executive level women (and many others) try to return to work after the typical 6 weeks of maternity leave. Many add another two weeks to that by using their vacation time. Keep in mind that you might be uncomfortable working up until the last minute... and that a C-section or difficult delivery might make you a bit uncomfortable still returning after only 6 weeks. However... I've also known women who had quick recoveries who thought they were ready to come back after 4 weeks.

Consider coming back part time in the beginning if that's workable with your boss. Is there work you could do at home? Many jobs now offer that as a possibility... with the use of the internet and docking stations, some folks can do half their job while they're in a different state.

The biggest way your life changes, I think, is that you have to learn to live without a lot of sleep for a while :) Chances are your baby will not sleep through the night for a few months and you need to be prepared to do middle of the night feedings and then go to work the next day (unless you've already hired that live in au pair/nanny who could handle that for you.) See if your husband will trade nights with you if you're bottle-feeding.

It is possible to breast feed and work, but you have to be very committed to this process. It's also possible to breast and bottlefeed at the same time, using bottles of formula during the day and breastfeeding in early mornings, evenings and at night. Just keep in mind that you will need to maintain roughly the same breast/bottle schedule every day whether it's a work day or not or you and baby will both be miserable.

Chances are that another big change will be that you will be more distractible and less focused while working, especially if the baby is sick or was cranky that morning. Your priorities might change and that meeting might look like something you could miss if the baby has a doctor's appointment instead of something vital to your career.

As for telling your employer, I'd wait until you're showing a bit... generally about 4 or 5 months. Then make it clear what your intentions are and how committed you are to your job. Tell him/her what your plan is for returning to work, because it's understood that plans are just that... plans. They are not molded in gold because no one can predict the future.

I've known women who gave birth and went straight back to work, only needed to loosen their skirt button a bit with a piece of elastic and climbed right back into their powerful corporate position. I've also known women who gave birth, it changed their life completely, and they decided to stay home for years. Keep an open mind about accepting whatever your heart tells you to do. You, your child, and your husband will all be happiest that way.

If you try to struggle against what you really strongly desire, you'll all be miserable. If your job remains a top priority, you'll be able to make it work. If being with your child 24/7 becomes a top priority, just allow it to be okay. Corporations will always be there... childhood is fleeting. Sometimes you're able to part-time it and answer both needs easily for a few years until your child is in school full time and won't even miss you during the day at all. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.

Answer 2

You can go back to work six weeks after having a baby. I would wait til I was 30. However a baby will take a lot out of you so I would consider the daycare options out there. You have to be careful these days when it comes to who cares for your child. Not only that but you may want to consider a homebased business. You can take your career and bring it home and possibly make more money while being able to be home with your child. The only way your life will change will be that you have an adorable baby to love. You will be tired at first while the baby is little but over time as the child gets older and sleeps through the night you will adjust and you will be a master at multi tasking. I run a homebased business with a little boy at home and I learned very quickly. You will too. Oh and as far as the job find out what their policy is on maternity leave and if they have company child care as some companies do have their own daycare centers. Also find out about what happens if you have an emergency and need to be home with your baby if your job is safe til you return. Good luck with the baby making.

Answer 3

Most women are "able" to go back to work after about 6 weeks after the baby is born. My wife wasn't ready physically or emotionally. She was still recuperating from the birth and she found it hard to leave my son. She ended up taking about 3 months. You may surprise yourself and be more apt to stay at home after you see that kid!!!

Your life will never be the same! If you do go back to work in 6 weeks you will not be getting a lot of sleep, this could affect your performance at work.

The other thing to consider is that financially you will feel the crunch. It is good that your mother would most likely watch your child. We pay about $10,000 yr for Daycare alone, throw in clothes, food, diapers etc, it really adds up.

I think you should at least wait until you're 3 months along before telling your employer as most medical professionals believe this is the point that you are less likely to miscarry.

At the end of the day, I would go for the kid, everything will fall into place. We just had our first late last year and we love it!!!

Good luck!

Answer 4

Congrats and good luck. First of all you can have it all. You can be a mom and a career woman... you might have to re think some choices to make it all fit but that is part of parenthood. How long does it take to recover.. well after a C section it will take you at least 6 weeks before you can be released back to work. A natural birth you can return in a few weeks. But emotionally you might not quite be ready... but then again you might be ready... just something to think about. Does your life change... in more ways than any person can describe. There is good and bad... but the good definately out weighs the bad. Something I personally didnt think about when I had my first child was what would happen if my child was sick and I had to go to work? The solution is my husband watches the children when I am work... and I watch them when he is at work... but a situation did come up once when HE was sick as well... someone without children dont have to worry about that.... but as a mom... you cant leave your family when they need you.
As far as telling your employer I would wait until you are confirmed pregnant. It may take you months to concieve ( or maybe days only one way to find out) and someone ( your boss) constantly asking you when you are going on leave when you are not pregnant might be a thorn in your side. When you are ready to go on leave you will be able to take Family medical leave. It is a federal law. But you have to have 1 year of service with an employer before they have to honor your leave.

Answer 5

First of all, you can do both. Having a baby does not mean you can't have a career too.

I'd check into daycare in your area as well as your corporation. Sometimes large companies provide daycare.

Usually, maternity leave is around 6 -12 weeks and then you return to work. Special considerations to think about are your hours and your husband's hours to work out how much time you'd have to spend with a child. If you both work 60 hour weeks, maybe this is not the time of your life to have kids.

Telling your employer you're pregnant: a lot of people wait until they start to show to tell their employer. But that's a personal decision.

But really, it's just one of those things that you have to just jump in with both feet and make it work.

Good luck.

Answer 6

First off you CAN be successful at work and as a mom. Whichever girl said that deserves a smack in the head.. Millions of women do it all the time.. Tell your employer when you are about 3 months along and work until you physically can't anymore. My freind worked all the way up until 2 weeks before her due date and if you have a job thats not very physcial I would reccommend working until you just can't anymore. Staying at home bored counting the days until the baby comes is not fun at all. Once you have the baby most women can go back to work after six weeks. Putting the baby with your mom will be better for both you and your baby. Plus mom gets grandma bonding time which they definately appericate.
Your life will definately change as a baby means that work comes second to home life but it is definately worth everything!
good luck!

Answer 7

Well, I think you should have a baby even though you love your job. You have to take care of home before work or your home life will effect the way you work. It usually takes 6 weeks I believe before you should go back to work...Thats what the doctors says any how. Plus you can always work from home. Your employer does not have to know that you are pregnat until you start to show or until you throw up everywhere...lol...Life is to short, have a baby to make your family complete. Take advantage of what your mother is offering you of watching your baby. Plus if you are really good at your job you can always find another that will give you more than the last.

Answer 8

a career woman plans for the future by finding child care early and saving for the financial future of your family. i say don't wait to create what god has gave you the gift to do. you can tell your employer after your fifth month or when you start showing. you can have the best of both worlds if you work hard for it. maybe " BOO" hasen't had that opportunity in her life, that is why she is someone's boo, if you know what i mean. im in my second year of college, in my mid 20's and am having my third child soon, to add to this i am a nursing major, and i do medical work as well for a living. i take care of patients and have been doing so since i was a teenager, so if it is possible for me and i have very limited help then i know you can do it. just plan now if this really is what you guys want. after the birth of the baby then everyone will seem to not stop coming around.make your family complete on your decisions and not that of others and what they think. i went back to work 2 weeks after my son was born because i couldn't stay in the house. and also to help my fiancee too. girl just take it easy and go for it.

Answer 9

At least give yourself 2 months to stay home with the baby. You may be able to work PT or work from home. Why not wait for another 2-4 yrs before trying for baby. You'll still be young and maybe by then more settled in your career.

You have to decide what's more important to you a career or motherhood. Not many people do both well -- so choose and live with the consequences. There's always one side that will suffer a little but that is life.

Answer 10

What you have to consider is what is more important to you. Technically you really do not have to tell your employer anything even though it would be the courteous thing to do. If you want to climb the career ladder, the focus on that right now and once you get to where you want to be, THEN work on having children. But because you have told us that you cannot stay at home without going crazy, having a child right now might not be a good idea.