Please don't Judge! I am a mother of 4 girls - Aged: 11, 9, 7 and 6 months and just found out I am pregnant Again! I really don't want more Children... not sure what went wrong but no use wondering about this... has happened need to decide what to do. Normally I would not consider Abortion as an option but I cannot see myself having more children and coping with two babies at once being a working mother. Husband says I must decide what I want to do... I am worried about the effect it will have on me on the long run... and my marriage.... blaming myself, wondering what could have been etc... on the other hand I cannot raise another child! Please help I know only I can make such a decision, but maybe there is someone out there that understands?????
2006-08-20 23:36:47 · 30 answers · asked by butterfly mom 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Whether you want more children or not, you have one! The child in your womb is no less your child and no less worthy of your love and protection than your born children. You CAN cope. You CAN raise another child. That is what families do. None of the circumstances of your life or the timing of the conception are your baby's fault. Why should he or she be punished by death for arriving at an inconvenient time?
You need to make sure you have all the facts, both about your baby and about the very real risks to you as well:
Photos of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
A Four-Minute, Must-See Video on Abortion:
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html
Information on All Aspects of Abortion:
http://Abort73.com
Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm
Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp
Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm
Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp
Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org
You are right to also be concerned about your marriage. Statistically speaking, most relationships break up after abortion. They cannot survive the stress of having together taken the life of a child. Each spouse starts blaiming the other, and there is no going back. If, on the other hand, you meet this challenge and love this baby together, it will likely only make your marriage stronger!
One final note: there are people on Yahoo Answers who are dealing with unresolved guilt regarding the abortion of their own children. These people tend to lash out emotionally and try to justify what they did by encouraging others to do the same. The most important thing for you to do right now is put all the opinions aside and get the facts about your baby, about abortion, and about all the help that is available for you.
You can do the right thing. Please keep us posted.
2006-08-21 02:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can sort of understand. I was at my limit with kids and hubby was planning on getting a vasectomy. Even though I was on birth control, I got pregnant a few weeks before he had the vasectomy. I had never agreed with abortion (I believed in a womans right, but I never thought it was an option for me). I was so upset w/ being pregnant and I did not want another kid that for a few days I really considered abortion. But I wound up realizing that I could never be happy with my decision since it really conflicted w/ my religion.
This last child wound up being my easiest child and the joy of my life! He is such a blessing in our lives! But he was not planned and really not wanted in the beginning (I feel bad saying that and he really is loved very much now!).
It's your decision and i"m not judging you either way. But I really think if you have some conflicting emotions or doubt about it right now, that if you really do abort, you'll always feel bad or guilty about it. Please know I only say that because you've said you'd worry about the long term effects an abortion would have on you and your family.
Really do some soul searching before you make a decision. If you have this baby and feel stressed, there are social sevices that can help you with either counseling or possibly financially. Don't be afraid to ask family & friends for help around the home or with the children. I honestly don't think abortion is right for you or you wouldn't be questioning it here on this board. I know raising children is very hard work and expensive. Please know people are out there & willing to help you.
Whether you decide to abort, adopt out the child, or raise the baby, it is a decision that will effect you forever. Really think about everything before you decide. Good luck to you!
2006-08-21 07:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by Girl named Sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are coming from. I am married myself and when I first found out I was pregnant I freaked and actually made an appointment to have an abortion done. However as the day approached I cried more and more. I didnt think that I could take care of a baby..I thought that I was doing the right thing. However that more I thought about it the more I realized that this was my husband and I's child..we had created this baby out of love and God was giving me this child as a blessing. I know you are struggling right now and you dont now what to do...maybe you are struggling because you know in your heart its wrong to get rid of your child? I know another baby will be alot of work, stress, time and money, but it will also be something the two of you made. You need to take your husband into consideration here as well. .If you think your marriage can survive this then go forward. I didnt think mine could ..I thought that my husband would always think I was a murderer. I never went through with my abortion..and am now 5 months pregnant with my little girl! What's important is to do whats right for the both of you and to make sure you have your husbands support and shoulder to lean on...... good luck.. you will decide whats right for you and your family.
2006-08-21 08:33:24 · answer #3 · answered by beAn*s MoMmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't abort your baby.you have 4 children,you know what it is like to love with all your heart and soul.if you would not consider abortion in any other pregnancy,than why this one.i know you said that you have a 6 month old at home and you don't think you can handle another baby but you need to remember that a child is a gift from God and if you trust in him,he can help you through.i had my 2 girls close together and it was hard but with love and support from my husband we made out ok.if you don't believe in abortion than you are contradicting yourself by having one.if you do have the abortion it will effect you there is no way around that,and yes,your husband could start to resent you for not wanting "his"child.if you really can't handle another child please consider adoption,that way you are giving your baby a chance to live a good life and you can take pride in the fact that you were a strong enough woman to have your baby and put them in the care of a loving family who wants to love a child the way you love your children.i hope i don't sound like i'm judging you because that is not my intention.i will keep you in my prayers and i hope i have helped a little.
2006-08-25 00:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by kipp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for your husband saying that it is your decision to make, it is not! It is his baby as well as yours and you need to discuss and make the decision together. I personally think that the situation that your husband has put you in is very unfair and I feel sorry for you!
Abortion is not the only option you know, If you don't want to feel bad then put the baby up for adoption. There are lots of people out their that can't have babies and would love them, at least that way you will know that your baby is being looked after and brought up into a loving family, getting the best out of life!
I really hope that this has helped.
Good look, whatever choice you make. xxx
2006-08-25 04:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by lizzieboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about what is best for you and not what other people will think, children are very hard work but im sure you would find away of coping, but on the other hand if it is not what you really want then at least you have got the option.
Good Luck hope it works out for you.
2006-08-21 06:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what difference os 1 more child? if ud have been more carefull int he 1st place u wouldnt be in this position. if u have it adopted and it comes lookin for u in 18 yrs. how the hell do u think its gonna feel when it finds out its got 4 older sisters. what would u have done if ur 6 mnth old was a twin? get rid of 1 of them?
if u can deal with the guilt and regret and constantly thinkin what could have been, have it aborted. but what ever u do. as soon as its born or killed. have ur tubes tied!
2006-08-21 11:29:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, your husband is an idiot he should be supporting u anyways he was untop of u ...i know money can be an issue but u need to step up and do the right thing..... sometimes when we need to do the right thing it seems so difficult. but u r a woman so fight like one...have your baby...look i have a litte friend her bf left her pregnant she is 17...no job, no money their parents trusted her on this one and she blew it !!! but u know what she is a mother now of a beautiful girl.... ans she took the right decition, now all of us are blessed by the kid smile if u do the right thing God is going to bless you.
please pray, do not do it ..think of women that can't have them...please react...I know everything is bigger if you r in the middle of a storm...the easy way is for weak people the harder one id for people like u ...brave..go girl...have your kid and enjpoy it.
read some books and stop blaming your self u r just making your husband free of all this but he should be standing by u now.
it is opk i believe he is a great guy but do not blame your self see it as a blessign of God.
Jesus loves u and He is ready to help u but u need to ask him for hel. u can think "if he sees it why doesn't he help" maybe because u never placem him in your life before" go ahead is never too late. I'll be praying for u tonight.
God bless u and help u on this one.
u know what's the right thing to do...have it and be blessed.
want to keep in touch.
urspecial4jesus@yahoo.com
and abortion will hurt u more...fisically, mentally and emotionally. having the baby might hurt your family economicly but u will b a grat example 4 them and others...and they'll be fine just plan your economi accordingly.
2006-08-21 06:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by Faith 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello to you! I jsut wanted to say that thought i dont have as many children as you i do understand what you are feeling. Have you thought about adoption? abortion is an option yes but if you could bring a life into this world and give it great parents and a chance to be someone wouldnt that be so much better then not giving him.her a chance at all? I know you have a lot to think about and if you feel like talking please look me up. I understand how you are feeling and what you are going through. And i also know a great referense for private adoption. Please contact me any time you feel like talking...good luck in your dicision. My prayers are with you and your family.
2006-08-21 06:49:29 · answer #9 · answered by cole61103 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD NOT GET AN ABORTION!! I would have the child. Raise it... love it... care for it... but if you really don't want it... then put it up for adoption instead of trying to kill it. Let someone else love it and care for it. I know that you don't want more children... but there are other ways to go about that. Once having this child... see about getting place on some type of birth control... or get your tubes tied.
2006-08-21 07:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋