My bf's mum died not long ago, and at the time, we were "house hunting" - looking to move in together.
Now he has been left to care for his elderly father, as his brother lives away from home already. He does all the cooking, cleaning etc... and I know it is really hard on him, but the main problem is...:
I am living in a rented house, but we want to move in together so we can start a family. We are both desperate for that, but..
1) My bf can't leave his father on his own without any help, as he is very forgetful etc...
2) We can't start a family while living apart due to rumours in this very small town.
3) If we bought a house together, he would still have to go and make dinner, put his dad to bed every day
4) I can't move in with him and his dad, as I already have a son from a previous relationship, and it would be too much stress for his dad. Also, due to my upbringing, I have "house pets" - not acceptable to his father.
Can any1 suggest anything?
2006-08-20 23:09:28 · 12 answers · asked by Krissyinthesun 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Rent a house very close to his dad's house perhaps a walk away this way he will be close to him, you can even get a walkie talkie for his dad and your guy to communicate in case his dad needs anything. This is the best solution I can think of.
2006-08-20 23:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by rabb b 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you love him,get rid of the pets,find a large enough place for all of you to live in,if and when his dad passes then you can get new pets.If you really want to do the right thing, explain to your father in law that once your married only then will you all live together,take care of him together,so you can all be together. That's the right way(assuming dad likes you and your child) If not you'll just have to wait. Hope the first part works out for you,Good luck.
2006-08-21 06:29:39 · answer #2 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's called patience. I was in a similar situation. I was caregiver for my parents. My girlfriend lived 60 miles away, with 3 kids. She didn't want to move closer because the (2) Dads of the children lived in her town. My parents lived with me, both in poor health. Our relationship wasn't perfect, and she "fell out of love" and broke off the relationship, but I still believe our problems stemmed from her being disappointed we couldn't live together.
Be that as it may, family comes at the top of my list. My Dad died, and my Mom is in very poor health, but any girl I date now is simply told upfront of the situation and where my responsiblities lie. So just hang in there...and give him moral support.
2006-08-21 06:22:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear of your dilemma. Is there any possibility of a carer to lighten the load and check on the elderly man. My nan lives in a warden care accommodation. Where she has a self contained flat where carers come and prepare her meals. I live in Australia. My nan is in the UK where I presume you are. Things will work out. Your boyfriend sounds like a lovely caring man.
2006-08-21 06:21:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look .. it would be so easy if you can save some more little money .. rent two flats in same building one big for your family and smaller one for his father .. so then he can manage while keeping enough privacy for both parties .. i'm sure you can find such close appartments in one building or two next buildings if you search good ..
2006-08-21 09:20:21 · answer #5 · answered by ohwaw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way I see to resolve this is to put him in an Old Folk's Home. It may seem cruel, but in the end he will be with a community of friends and you will be sure that he will be taken care of. Of course, he can be visited at any time.
2006-08-21 06:15:34 · answer #6 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1, both of you're much be understant each orther.
2. The problem is to many poeple involve
3.Suggest. too much good food on the table.Can you eating all
the food in one time? ( If not,try difference time or giveup
something)
2006-08-21 06:43:17 · answer #7 · answered by john c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since his father is the one that is needing assistance, I'd say he shouldn't have any say so over who does what.
2006-08-21 06:18:22 · answer #8 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey beutey firend may be after share with your bf and live together is good way for you guys so try to make a good converstion with you bf good luck may Allah bless us
2006-08-21 06:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by Abdumalik A 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just wait on him. sounds like his father needs him now.
your bf will be grateful if you do.
2006-08-21 06:21:56 · answer #10 · answered by poisondragon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋