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Was boyfriend in high school, but more like best friends than boyfriend, girlfriend. I so much don't want him to be insecure, but my friend has been back in touch around a yr or so. Husband has been working out of town all this time, coming home once a month. Nothing funny going on, but of course the situation sure looks funny to onlookers, and making hubby nervous as well. I love my friend. Of course love hubby of 25 yrs....so dang, Is it possible to keep both my friend and my hubby?

2006-08-20 20:11:04 · 10 answers · asked by lilli 2 in Family & Relationships Friends

10 answers

I think its possible but it maybe hard if you have been keeping your ex a secret of being friends. You need to be honest and have faith in his trust in you. Also they need to meet.

Hugs Mel

2006-08-20 20:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0 1

Ohmigoodness you unfavourable unfavourable aspect. ........ This has been a large wonder to you, how might want to you've ever universal a thanks to handle it once you by no skill imagined it in the first position. the very undeniable actuality that he has shown no regret, basically made excuses, should be through the far the hardest aspect to take. His manipulation of his pal, the robbery, the mendacity, no judgment of precise and incorrect, all of that.. is the behaviour of a junkie. Or, it really is the behaviour of a psycopath. Your an sensible lady, and also you've universal your son because that start. it quite is he, a psycopath, or a junkie?. If it really is the latter then there is desire. If he does come sturdy then i imagine you'll settle on for your self to achieve out to him. I dont imagine you'd be able to help your self. yet he surely needs to well known each little thing he has carried out. judgment of precise and incorrect is the major right here. Did you do the right aspect? definite, on the time. He gave you no reason now to not. yet seem for that consicence in him, and in case you spot it, salvage what you may. If there is no longer something there then I hate to assert it even with the undeniable fact that it could be a lot less painful for you to leave issues as they're. you're a sturdy Mum and it really is stunning. !!

2016-11-26 20:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by satornino 4 · 0 0

Sorry but ya can't have your cake and eat it too! When you got married you chose your hubby to be your 1 and only! My wife and I have committed that we will NOT hang out alone with members of the opposite gender. The includes for instance if I'm at work and an old girl-friend or co-worker wants to go to lunch with me, I will make sure at the very least that there is a 3rd party there with me so that it's not "alone time" with someone other than my spouse. At best, my wife will come along so that she feels extra comfortable. Time spent is a big thing and there may be several reasons you are choosing to spend time with this old flame. If you want to affair proof your marrige, don't make excuses to meet your emotional needs through any other man other than your hubby. Also, you may not realize this but there is NO MAN on earth that has "only" plutonic girlfriends...sex is always on our mind and if you were to give him the opportunity I'm sure he'd accept (although maybe not right away, we don't keep friends, ONLY for friendships' sake - seriously it doesn't happen!). If you're missing your hubby, tell him "I need you home" it is partially his job to meet your emotional needs and realize that this "friendship" with your old friend is meeting a need that your hubby is not currently since he's out of town. Hopefully you can share your feelings with your man and tell him you need him home, if not permanently, more at least...sorry I sorta rambled on there, you can probably tell I've had to consider this issue myself... better safe than divorced!

2006-08-21 09:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by creativegabe 1 · 0 0

Well I'm supposing you don't want to start any more gossip so only see this old "boyfriend" when your husband is in town and with you. Don't tempt fate or do anything to start rumors. And if your husband is not comfortable with that--any many husbands would not be--then stop seeing the old friend. You should be making friends with the wives of other married men so you will have someone to visit with while your husband is out of town.

2006-08-20 20:20:51 · answer #4 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 1 0

You are playing with wildfire. This is not a case of you having a history of just being platonic friends with this guy or of the friendship you two originally had evolving into a "couple" one with you and your husband and him. Tone down the friendship. Actually, it is really your friend that should realize you are a married woman now and the friendship between the two of you has changed. He should show more respect. Not only for your husband, but for you as well.

2006-08-20 23:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If you don't want your husband to be insecure don't spend time with an old flame, who OBVIOUSLY means a lot to you, while he's out of town!

This is one of those unfortunate cases where you really can't have your cake and eat it to.

2006-08-20 20:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by Smarticus 2 · 0 0

Talk to your husband and tell him that he is in touch with you and tell him that you are just considering him as a friend and then ask him whether he has any problem with it?Talk it out and ask him about it and convince him about your current relationship and if he is alright keep in touch with him.Else just leave it because it may harn your family

2006-08-20 20:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by golden princess 2 · 1 0

Of course. Just be honest with your husband and don't meet your lover behind your husband's back. On the other hand, DO make love to your lover any time you want, whatever your husband says about it. Be married but not monogamous!! And if your husband objects, spank his bottom.

2006-08-20 20:19:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 2

you say he has been intouch for a year or so? WHY? i bet he likes you, he wants to rekindle something. why else would he contact you? thats how your husband is gonna react. he is a guy and knows and understands how guys think and act, so of course he is gonna be worried or concerned. i think think it would be possible. i wouldnt like it if my wife started hanging out with her old flame

2006-08-20 20:19:06 · answer #9 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 2 0

NO at least one will object

2006-08-20 20:25:53 · answer #10 · answered by Red 5 · 0 1

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