Make a complicanted matter short - I dated this girl I really found attractive last summer. We had sex....she liked me...we had sex a few more times and hung out...things got weird...we stopped hanging out...she got pregnant by me but I didn't believe it was mine...all my friends and her friends knew about the pregnancy. She didnt look preganant more than 1/2 her preganancy and I believed her when my sister called me and told me she was in the hospital delievery...knew it was mine...had doubts...we got a dna test she paid for...500 bucks...i can't afford....it said i was the father...i haven't seen the baby and she's now 4 months....my sister has....this is destroying my family...i can't raise a child now...i'm not ready...i told her i wanted her to give it up or have an abortion...i never wanted the kid...it was her choice it should be her responsiblity...now she is sueing me for custody and support and i ordered i want no visitation...email me michaelmagid@aol.com
2006-08-20 20:00:13 · 12 answers · asked by ProudMomma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Can i bring documents to court provening she has been harassing me and making me look like I'm good and her bad? I'm unable to care for a kid mentally, financially, or emotionally....i coach soccer and live in hollywood doing stand up..
2006-08-20 20:03:16 · update #1
may i add...she's a sweet girl...she really is with a big heart....i just don't want to be a dat and not ready...it's not fair i didn't have a choice of abortion or adoption and i told her i wanted her to have an abortion!
2006-08-20 20:11:50 · update #2
i haven't seen the child....i'm doing know what to do...i'm scared and she's invited me to see her many times...but i told my parents she doesn't want me involved so now they think the worst of the mother....the mother keeps telling me it's about the child and not her and i and i think that's stupid....i live in california!
2006-08-20 20:14:40 · update #3
oh the mother also leaves me messages on my voice mail rambling off that she doesn't want anything with me and this is for the child...if she doesn't want anything with me than why is she sueing me for custody or support? I can't move in with her or marry her and she saids she doesn't want that and never has and doing what she needs to for the child.
2006-08-20 20:20:06 · update #4
i'm in california and i found out i can't give up anything unless she gets married and he can adopt the kid...so i'm screw for life with a kid i didn't want.....
2006-08-21 04:14:45 · update #5
you know these people on here say some of the meanest things and it is both of your responsabilty to sit down and talk about the effects this child would bring into both of your lives. i have two children and i had a third child by a man that i knew i didnt want to be with and knew he didnt want a child either, so instead of being selfish and thinking of mine and his lives and how this child would be effected by it. i gave my child up for adoption and it was the best choice i ever made i do not believe in abortion and so many women dont think of their children and it is sad, my child that i gave up for adoption is in a happy home and has been for 6yrs i still get pictures of her and the adoptive parents write to me and let me know whats going on with her. so many people cant have children and then you have women that want kids so bad but cant take care of them. people make mistakes and you were honest about your feelings on not being able to handle it and she made the choice to keep the child. most likely you will be able to get the parental rights terminated in most states the child support will be terminated also. in the future be careful what you do and good luck
2006-08-20 20:34:20 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie1995 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you can. I depends on which state you live in for the child support. In some states you will still have to pay until the child is 5 years old. There's also an abandonment law if you havent' provided support in 6 months. I would think long and hard before making a decision like this. A child is a life, a beautiful miracle, and she's half you. Are you sure you want to give up watching her grow into a beautiful young woman? It's not about you and the mother. It's about the child. Please just think about that, and I will pray for you and your daughter.
2006-08-20 20:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can sign the declaration of independence and still have to pay child support. There's no way out of it for him. As far as the gifts, keep receipts for all things given to the children as that does count toward payments. If you don't keep the receipts it's considered a gift. He might be a great guy but if you marry him, you're not only inheriting his debt to these children but you're also inheriting the drama of the situation. Do you really want that? You should suggest to him going to court for visitation rights. Legally, she can't keep him from seeing his children unless he's been charged as a pedophile or molester of some kind. For real, being a single parent for almost 14 years, it's more a headache than it's worth to chase him so I let the court bring him in. You can't squeeze blood from a turnip so why try? He doesn't see my daughter by choice and I'm not going to continue to kill myself to make it happen. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this but for real, I would sever ties with this guy. It's going to get worse and your relationship is going to suffer and end because of it. Sorry, but that's the real of it all.
2016-03-26 23:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope that she finds some wonderful person who falls in love with both of them and adopts this little girl. Until that day, you must pay child support, she is your child, there is proof through DNA that you are the father. If you do not want to see her, then that is up to you, but you still have to support this child. Why don't you just see this little one, and pay the child support like a good Daddy should and grow up. You will be sorry one day and be wondering what this child looks like, where she is and such. You are only feeling this way now, but, no one is making you do anything outside of the law, and yes, you made her. What if your father had felt that way about you?
2006-08-20 20:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by shardf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RE: "...it was her choice it should be her responsiblity..."
That's complete bullsh*t! But you are dead on about not being ready to be responsible for a kid because you weren't even responsible enough to take precautions not to get someone knocked up.
Sorry, but it's ALSO your responsibility. It becomes yours the minute you decide to become sexually involved w/someone. When you have sex, you are also accepting any & ALL the consequences that go along w/having sex. ie: the possibility of pregnancy (which means children, their upbringing, possibly child support), STDs, etc.
Also, ABORTION IS NOT A FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL! So relying on or hoping that whoever you knock up will have an abortion is just plain ignorant.
Sorry. It's not no one person's responsibility. It is both because it takes 2 to make a baby, dear. Unless you were a sperm donor or something, which you weren't.
Good luck trying to pass off this BS in court.
2006-08-20 20:13:14 · answer #5 · answered by Wild Rose 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh well you should have thought about all this before you had sex with the woman. Some of you men do not think...all you want to do is play and not take responsibility of what happens when you play.
Just be a man and pay your child support to that woman and deal with it.
You say you are not ready for a child...but you were ready to have sex with that woman.
Excuses, excuses, excuses is what you deadbeat fathers be making up.
2006-08-21 04:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by Coast2CoastChat.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to accept resposibility. It wasn't just her that made the baby. If you didn't want a baby you should have taken precautions against that. As far as signing away any rights and not pay child support I don't know how the laws are on that in your state. You are nothing more than a deadbeat. You need to stop and think about the child instead of yourself. Grow up and act like a man.
2006-08-20 20:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i admire you for lyour honesty, but that is where it stops.
actually, if you have no feelings or desire to have this baby, your daughter in your life, i guess the daughter is better off without you.. you are doing her a favor,
No one can make you love lor want anyone not evern your child,
i will say it takes a very special person to walk around, and breath air, and be so de sensitized to the miracle of their own child being born,,
re responsibility, whether you want, like, love or hate thekid as you call her, you fathered her,
it is time to grow up,
i do not know what will happen to you re paying support etc,
i hope you do not make any more babies,
good luck, mr michaelmagid,,
2006-08-20 20:12:59 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're in trouble. The only way you would have been OK is if there was a negative paternity test. The only way that harrassment would work is if you wanted custody of this child. Unless she finds someone who wants to adopt this child, you made it you have to support it. You should have thought about that before you jumped into bed with her.
2006-08-20 20:09:48 · answer #9 · answered by lovefor44oz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you can't sign your parental rights away unless she agrees to it. If you didn't want to be a father, you should not have been having unprotected sex! SIMPLE! so deal with it, be responsible and father your child! and you SHOULD pay child support!
2006-08-21 04:03:50 · answer #10 · answered by seeking2adopt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋