I cheated on my wife and got caught. I want to know will she ever forgive me???

Question

I have been married to my wife for two years and been together for five years. We have two children a 5 year old boy and a 9 month old girl. We are both 24 years old & trying to work things out. She asked me why I cheated and I feel that what I did was not right but i feel that i didnt get it out of my system before we got married. I told her I would never do it again because the pain and heart ache I have caused my family is enough. She told me she wants to forgive me but that we are just going to see how it goes in the next few weeks or so. She has told me that she really doesnt want me to hang out with my friends, seeing that one of my friends is the person who hooked me up with the girl I cheated with. I understand right now but what about hanging out later. Will she be able to trust me again and am I wrong for wanting to be able to hang out with my friends with out conflict. She said once she starts to feel insecure like she does now shell have to call it quits. What do u think?

Answer 1

Learn to accept a few facts your relationship will never be the same no matter what she says in the future. women like elephants never forget. She will appreciate the extra attention you will give her to try and make things right up to a point. Best advice I can give you is to plan an emergency exit strategy such as saving money for your own place. The first time you have an argument and she plays the you cheated on me card, bail because it;s never going to improve and you will just be delaying a painful break up.

Answer 2

I think you will need a mediator to get you talking. Someone outside the relationship that is not personally involved. Maybe the time apart will help you figure out what you really want. When you cheated you pretty much made up your mind. So you are freaking out now that you will lose your wife. But to me you figured that all out a little too late. She has the right to be upset. You cannot make her forgive you. You have to prove to her by actions that you were wrong and that you would do anything now to have a great relationship. If she can't get passed it, you probably are not going to have a good marriage. If you don't get outside help, I don't think you'll ever work it out if she won't talk about it. If anything go through with the divorce and keep her in your life whatever way you can. It may be too late to fix things.

Answer 3

Well, your wife may be able to forgive you after a lot of time has passed, but she will never forget this. You have disrespected and betrayed your wife by cheating on her. Whenever you might decide to come home late, don't answer your phone, want to go out with friends or alone, and so on, she will be suspect that something is going on. I don't think she'll ever be able to fully trust you again. At this point, you probably need to go to some kind of marriage counseling before this problem escalates into something more serious, such as separation and divorce.

Answer 4

awwwwwww come on....Now be honest with yourself. What are the odds that given the chance, you'll do it again. Cheaters don't feel bad for cheating...they feel like crap cause they were stupid enough to get caught.
About your friends....if you loved your friends that much, then why did you marry your wife??? If your friends are so important to you...then let your wife go on and live her life with someone that can make her happy...not someone, like you, that throws her love back in her face like it never meant anything to you to begin with!
Put yourself in her shoes>>>What if it was her that did the cheating? What if it was HER friends that fixed HER up with someone and SHE got caught by YOU??? How would that make you feel???
BETRAYAL is an ugly thing...and more so when it's between a couple that pledged to love and trust each other as long as they lived.
Look at it like this....She isn't like you....when she sees your friends from the moment you were caught, it's the humiliation, knowing how they plotted behind her back & then laughed and her, thinking how foolish she was.
Now...You admit it>>>>>>>How would it make you feel??? And answer honsetly>>>>would you forgive her???
I hope so...cause now you've opened the doors for her to find true comfort with someone else>>>>>
Good luck! cause you're gonna need it! GB

Answer 5

She may forgive you but she will never forget. And there is a high probability that she will cheat on you now.

Your relationship is on the rocks and sinking fast. You must devote all your time and attention towards saving it if you want to stay with her. You are now pretty much at her beckoned call and owe everything she asks.


Don't be suprised if she considers you as being dirty and doesn't want anything to do with you. This will take alot of time for her to overcome.

With alot of work TOGETHER you may get through this, just make sure you talk to her about why you did it and what your plans are in the future.

Answer 6

Apparently you can't be trusted to "hang out with your friends." When you are married you are supposed to put wife and children first and do things with them. An occasional night with the boys playing cards, throwing darts, playing pool, etc. is ok. But to put yourself in the position of being tempted to cheat is just asking for trouble. I notice that you did not say that YOU have pain and heartache because you broke your wedding vows. You need to take a good look at yourself and hope that your wife will forgive you.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear that you put your both feet in your huge mouth like my husband did 5 years ago. My husband and you are fools who lack judgement. So I know how your wife feels like !!! My husband { Paul Heinz } is still with his girlfriend who was my X-best friend. My husband filed for divorce which is so wrong to do. Don't ever get a divorce !!! Divorce is the coward & quiter way out from marriage !!!!!Divorce never ever brings closure to any situation. Divorce brings MORE hurt & MORE pain to the situation. Oh the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence ...... that is a big fat lie because on the other side of the fence is ALWAYS brown & death. Hey remember your wedding vows ................ so death do us apart. Marriage should not be entered into lightly.Marriage is what it is until death !!! God is not a God of compromise. My husband could care less about our 3 children & me his ordained wife from God because he is still where he is now. If my husband did care deeply in his heart for all of us than he would be back with us. DO YOU CARE DEEPLY IN YOUR HEART FOR YOUR CHILDREN & YOUR WIFE ??? Put God in the center of your marriage. Put your wife first ! Put your family first ! Get new friends who should be people with strong values & morals. Your old friends does NOT have values & morals. Everyone of us has a responsibility to live right. Both of you need to forgive each other and get working on your ordained marriage !!! You need to forgive yourself too. Your wife needs to forgive you. Anyone who does not forgive someone than God won't forgive that person. It is so important to forgive. Hey scares will still be there but new will come ................ it takes A LOT of hard work along with God. Look all things are possible with God so impossible is nothing concerning God . Don't forgive up on your wife , your marriage , and your precious children. Don't give up on HOPE. When you take your troubles to God , you may have them . but they don't have you. You still have your troubles, but they are not controlling you. LIFE IS NOT CONSEQUENCES . LIFE IS DECISIONS !!! Avoiding a decision is a decision. Well food for though. The hard truth is people only see what they're prepared to see , and like they said , you reap what you sow.

Answer 8

I pray she will ultimately forgive you, but she will not ever forget it. It's a good thing to hear you say that you realize how you hurt your family, but why worry about how soon, or how long it will be, you can hang out with friends. Give her what she wants in this since you claim to "understand right now". Hanging out with friends, in a round-a-bout way has lead to your affair, and I'm sure there are other factors as well, but if you're sympathetic to your wife's feelings and regret what has happened, some reassurance to her shouldn't hurt that much.

Answer 9

She may have forgiven you but she will never ever forget! Also, she will never trust you again. If you value your family and love them, please don't hang out with friends who will put you in such a situation again. If I were you, I'd start thinking of how to earn her trust and respect again. And if your wife can't find it inside her to totally forgive you and forget the whole thing, and wants to leave you, you have only yourself to blame. Ask yourself this question next time you even dare to consider cheating again...if she was the one cheating on you and you caught her, how would you feel?

Answer 10

i hope she doesn't forgive you you cheating dog. No guy that cheats deserves a second chance. Besides if she does give you a chance she will probably cheat on your cheating as$ anyway. OOhh how sad you didn't get it out of your system!!!! I feel so sorry for you. And then you still wonder why she doesn't want you to hang out with your "friend" that hooked you up. Your so selfish you don't even put yourself in her shoes.