Homophobia; how has it affected you personally?

Question

Being a "gay activist" (well lesbian-ish) I run across a lot of misinformation, misinterpretations and just plain ignorant homophia. How do you, GLBT's, deal with it? How has it affected your lives?

Answer 1

I am a female to male transsexual. Let me tell you ONE incident.
I have a male friend who finds FTM's (female to males) attractive. Well, we ended up messing around in the bathroom on campus. A staff member reported us to the campus police. They came and originally thought that we were two gay men, and the officer told the other officer that we were "giving each other a b**wj**b" in the stall. Which is NOT what happened but whatever...anyway...they proceed to arrest us and I have to show them my ID and ect ect...well, they get ready to search me, and they ask if there's anything they should know about and I was like "yes...I don't want to get you guys in trouble, so could you please get a female officer to do this?" and they didnt understand why...and so, I had to explain my transsexual status to them..and they were like "If you're a girl, what are you doing in the men's bathroom?" and I was like "YOU thought I was a guy right? where ELSE would I be?" anyway...they take us both to jail. They put me in the women's jail. (Keep in mind I'm a female to male, I have a passable male voice and facial hair at this point) It's EXTREMELY embarassing. They didn't know what to do with me. They threw me in a private cell and wouldn't let anyone in with me. I felt like a caged animal on display. They left me there and forgot about me for 14 hours before they FINALLY transferred me to the county jail. (all this time with no food or anything) I get to the county jail and ugh...they make you do a strip search, and bend over and all kinds of crazy stuff. I was MADE to wear a bra under my uniform. I've NEVER worn a bra in my LIFE. The sheriff is hollering as loud as he can "HEY did you get a look at that CHICK in there?! She looks like a DUDE!" yelling this throughout the whole jail. And then there's guy's on a bench waiting to see the doctor who are MOOING at me and making bull horns on their heads (I'm guessing as a symbol for a "bull dyke") Anyway..it gets better. The sheriff comes to get me to take me to this room to sign for my property release so I can be bailed out. Well, the guy comes to let me out and he's like "what's your name?" and I tell him and he's like 'are you sure it's shouldn't be Ralph or something?" and I was like "huh"? and he was like "well you need a razor or something you look like a freak" he SAID this to me, to my FACE!
To make it WORSE, once I got OUT of jail, I come back to campus to find the whole police report printed in our campus newspaper, with my NAME and my TRANS status right there in a half page article on the incident. So now I just got outed to my whole college, on top of that, the Dean suspends me for 3 days. I got upset and went to my college GLBT student organization for some support in writing the paper and telling them how outing someone was wrong, but my GLBT "brothers and sisters" didn't even support me because of what I did to get arrested they said put a "negative image" on their group..regardless of the fact that I was still outed to everyone. I got no support from them either. I got very depressed and actually considered suicide after all that because it just messed with my head so much that people could be so rude, cold, and these are the people who are doing our law enforcement and supposed to be PROTECTING and SERVING us! ALL of us...the blind hate and homophobia/transphobia made me so upset. I'm still leery of people.

Answer 2

My first day in a new high school I was dubbed a lesbian because some girl said that she liked the comedienne Ellen until she found out she was gay. I immediately turned my head and asked her how someone could suddenly not be funny because of their sexuality and she just went on to say that homosexuality is wrong according to the bible and blah blah blah. I got into some huge argument about how gay people don't choose to be that way and the whole class gasped. It was an extremely conservative school and word spread quickly that I must be a lesbian and I think the whole school thought I was until I graduated.
I had never judged a person based on who they were sexually, but at that po-dunk country school I really got a taste of what many gay and bi-sexual people go through on a daily basis. I deal with it by trying to inform those who are somewhat open and trying my hardest to ignore those who refuse to listen. Sometimes I have to fight yelling at folks because I get so angry at their intolerance, but I figure it wont change their minds

Answer 3

Alright, "paying member", it may encourage you to know that homophobia is no longer the pc term, it's heterosexism, which is the belief that male-female sexuality is the only appropriate form of sexual behavior. Regardless of what you call it, however, where does this sense of entitlement and moral right come from?

And now, regarding the question, I was really ignorant about homosexuality when I was younger and made comments to my friends and classmates things that I find absolutely appalling now. Sometimes I wonder whether I made those comments because I was afraid that my peers would find out that I was bi, which at the time was completely at odds with my christian background. Finding the religion to be too binding, I left it, and its set of "rules". Shortly after, my brother came out, having dropped out of high school (the same high school that I had attended four years earlier), because of the intense homophobic and heterosexist atmosphere that the administration had allowed to exist. Having experienced that whole process of coming to a place where I was comfortable with my sexuality, I heard a lot of homophobic remarks, a lot of ignorant remarks, a lot of paranoia, and a lot of over-generalizations about the LGBT community. It's unfortunately a part of our society, and it will continue to surface, but knowing what you're fighting against is a significant part of the battle.

Answer 4

I have been assaulted in just about every city in the US I have visited (except, oddly enough, Salt Like City - thanks SLC!) when walking near a gay bar. This consisted mainly of bottles or other things thrown from a passing car, but has occasionally involved more direct violence. And I am very masculine, it's not readily obvious - maybe it's the leather. :o)

When the last GALA [LGBT choruses] conference was held in Montreal, one of the participants was gay-bashed and stabbed on the first night.

I try not to dwell on this, but do a few things:
1) try to go out in groups of more than one,
2) stick to well-lit areas, and
3) always know where my keys are - a potential self-defense weapon.

Answer 5

Hmmm, I've lost jobs because of it. I've been accused of hitting on someone simply because I was in the same area when I didn't even notice the guy was there. I've been preached at, spit on, and threatened with a gun. I've lost people I thought were friends(I know they weren't friends NOW, but I didn't at the time and that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.) I've been asked everything from do I know Boy George to am I attracted to children(no and NO).....
The main source of Homophobia is Ignorance, plain and simple.

And people wonder why I am intolerant of intolerance..........

Answer 6

Homophobia has sorta affected me. I'm bi, as well as some of my friends. Earler in the year, I had a girlfriend at school. We never showed are feelings for eachother at school because of the fear of how other people in the school would react. We live in somewhat of a Homophobic town as it is, even though my friends and I know alot of Gay/Bi/Lesbo's and can tell that some are closeted. Witch is another point I want to make, Closeted gay's always seem to pick on other gay's because of them being open about it. It is stupid. LOVE IS ABOUT LOVE NOT GENDER! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR ******* SKULLS PEOPLE! That is all for now. Thank you.

Answer 7

I mean honestly how many labels (GLBT, lesbian, bisexual...etc.) do you need before you will feel validated? Your moral character saddens me and the way you lash out at anyone who does not agree with you speaks volumes.
I only hope your degenerate lifestyle does not affect your children.
Report that lesbian-ish.

Answer 8

actually I became a homophobe myself because I went through tough times and had nothing but the bible to give me help.

Other than that, the only homophobia I ever got was a guy who said something like "well, that doesn't turn you on since you don't like *****" while he had the zipper of his pants open, after which I left this job, because I'm just not here to listen to crap like that...and once in school, where someone called me "dirty dyke", and my mother, who calls it demonic, which probably is the worst.

From my perspective, it is easy to be lesbian, when everything's OK in your life. When you have real trouble, you might turn to god and question your homosexuality.

Answer 9

Althought I have not been affected directly, I see many of my friends being looked down upon just for being homosexual and this second class citizen treatment has given me the blues and has motivated me to take political action. I work with the resolve that one day they will have equal rights.

Answer 10

It's said we all have homophobia inside us, and it's so. That's something that keeps a lot of us from being ourselves much of the time ... from being spontaneous, from being happy, from being healthy.

So we have to get rid of that, and stay rid of it. Not easy. Pride is a lifetime achievement award.

@ Bohemianboi: you're very brave, and you were treated awfully by that college ... and by that particular group. Bravo for getting past that dark spot, and I hope you've moved on to a better college.

Answer 11

I've had friends to stop talking to me, and family members also. My nephews like to say "Brokeback" a lot and i always have to get on them for saying it, i had to explain to one of them this past weekend that it's not funny or cute to say that. He told me that it sounded like i was defending Gay People, i told him i was because i'm gay, it blew his mind, i came out to him in that moment. As they said the look on his face was PRICELESS!