my wife and I decided to try a threesome sometime ago like almost 2 years ago. Even though we both agreed on it it caused some problems. We recently split in feb for 4-6wks then we split up just 1 week ago. we have 6 kids total 2 together she had 4 before.they all consider me dad. I can't even begin to tell u the means she used to split up. well she uses everything as a excuse as to why we split but finally i got it out of her that the 3some really got 2 her. she wishes she could take a pill 2 forget. Well i know she loves me very much. But even if i look at a computer she thinks i may be cheating. I am also a very attractive guy with nice body and she hates when other women look at me. Now i've never cheated on my wife and 6 kids aside I think she is sexy. Not only that but she has my heart & when things r up they r great but when they r down look out. she wants 2 stay apart hoping maybe the answer will come 2 her i say we need to be a united front do it 2gether w/therapy
2006-08-20 18:52:40 · 13 answers · asked by jin_24 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no way. she is just upset generally and she's using the 2 year old 3sum as ammunition...it's not the cause of your problems or it would've come up long ago. she probably did forget about it until you guys started having probelems and then she started trying to think of all the things she could use to explain why she is upset with you, even though she really got off during the threesome and enjoyed it thoroughly
2006-08-20 19:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
It sounds to me like there was always a factor of jealousy in the marriage. That jealousy seems to have turned to mistrust after the threesome. I see it happen a lot when people are not on the same page and are resentful with the way that things happened. If you are truely happy with your wife, marriage counseling will help and you need to realize that it is something that can never happen again. You need to let your wife know that it was a misteak that you guys made;it's not all your fault, she was there too, and that you won't even think about it again. That you will do whatever it takes to make it up to her and then kiss her butt until she gets over it. I am not a jealous person so that type of thing works great for us, but I am just trying to give you some info based on what I've seen with other couples that tried it once. I hope that it helps. Love's Wife
2006-08-20 19:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by lovefor44oz 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aftermath of a threesome? Not so much honey, it's something else that is causing her jealousy issues. It's been two years and she only pulled this answer out of her butt after constant badgering. Sounds like her own insecurities about your fidelity and her self-worth. I mean, seriously, what does the computer have to do with it? Unless you are a frequent surfer of the porn sites...because then it makes sense. Haven't had a threesome, but seen quite a large number and they've all gone bad and ended relationships, only it happens right away...not this far out. I think you should evaluate the situation a little more, take yourself outside the box for a second or two and look to the time when it started going down hill. Because that is where the problem lies, not with this threesome crap. When you are thinking back, think of how you acted towards her too, because that could have changed her security level. The two of you sound like ideal candidates for couples counseling...if she's willing, try to get to the root of the problem there. Good luck and I hope it works out for you.
2006-08-20 19:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is why I always tell people NOT to do it! Its a fun fantasy but the reality of it is a completely different thing! It looks like cheating, feels like cheating and the history of only you and her that you had gained is wiped out. Somewhere inside her she wanted you to say no, that you didn't want to be with anyone else, that she is the only one you ever want to be with.....you didn't. It puts you in a tough position because technically you didn't do anything wrong, you just should've known better but stupid isn't wrong. To her it feels the same as if you had an affair behind her back. If you really want to fix it you have to fix it the same way you would that, sometimes though that can't be fixed. You can apolgize for disappointing and hurting her, you can try saying you never did WANT to be with anyone else you only did it because you thought she wanted you to and that you wouldn't do it again for a billion dollars. It might help a little, be prepared to repeat it a lot. Good luck! In the future put your common sense above your penis and your wife above EVERYTHING else!
2006-08-20 19:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it can cause problems. I felt that if he REALLY loved me he wouldn't want to share me with anyone. I know I didn't like sharing him, but he had to have his cake and everyone elses too. Give her a little time away, but let her know how much you love her, and going to therapy together even if you're not in the same house may really help. Understand, She is feeling used, (by YOU), unloved, guilty, confused, unhappy, insecure, and is having a hard time dealing with the things that happened. It killed me inside, when we did it, but I didn't dare to let it show, but I also couldn't act like I was having a good time, either, (Mr. Jealous, control freak, bully!) It hurt me so much! I always did everything he wanted when and how he wanted, up to 7 times a day, (he was a sex addict.) but he was always looking for someone new, and it made me sad, because our sex, and our lovemaking were both so hot, I couldn't understand why he wanted others. (Male, or female didn't matter to him, he was bi.) I still don't know why, but I know he regrets losing me very much. Apologize to her for the threesomes, ask for her forgivness, even if she agreed to them, because the way she is acting tells me she did it to please you. Then you two do need to talk with or with out a councelor, and try to figure out why you felt like you needed threesomes in the first place, but without blaming each other. And finally, because I know how I felt, buy your wife a big bunch of beautiful flowers, take her into your arms, stroke her hair, caress her face and back, and tell her how beautiful she is to you, and howmuch you love her, and tell her it's not her fault, (because she's really feeling guilty here) and that you promise that you don't want anyone else, and that you will never ask for another threesome. But don't do it unless you really mean it and want to save your marriage, and then keep that promise. I know if the man I loved with all my heart and body had shown me one little bit of what I'm telling you THEN, maybe he wouldn't be my ex NOW. God Bless you two, I hope everything works out, and I hope I was of some help to you. Happiness to you and yours.
2006-08-20 19:33:27 · answer #5 · answered by vspaulo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Iam sad to hear your story, it's a shame the way things have worked out, Iam assuming that she agreed to have the threesome in the first place, or was it forced on her?
Personally I have always wanted to do that but never been game enough to go through with it, anyway you can't change what has happened,Try and talk to her and please go and both seek counselling together. I f she still loves Iam sure you two can work it out.
Good Luck to you Both,
2006-08-20 19:03:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! yes , I think you two obviously love eachother and care. But therapy is a necessityif you really want to save your family.The problem with threesomes is that a lot of people don't consider what the after effects will be on your trust level and the entire marriage all around.Tell her that you love her and that you are willing to go to counseling with her to save the marriage.
2006-08-20 19:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by nativewoman006 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think are right apart will not help you've gotta try togeather the thearpy (from a guy)is very impressive sounds like u really care can she not forget the fact that shr seen u with another woman? did u kinda push for the 3some or was she all for it i'm thinking of tring this with my husband but have similar worries and i am the one who brought it up 1st and think i can handle it and fantasise about it all the time so maybe we can help each other with ou experinces and my female point of view hope things work ou tfor u u seem huge hearted and very in love im sorry and wish u the best
2006-08-20 22:13:46 · answer #8 · answered by justwondering 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's always going to cause problems and end with splitting up if you care at all for the person you're with. It's bullshit, You feel totally betrayed, I imagine. Atleast that's what I would Feel Like, Give her time!
2006-08-20 18:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you guys need therapy.
I am all for threesomes, but not when you are in a relationship, that never works.
If you are so attractive, why don't you focus your energy on your wife. Flirt with her in public, compliment her in public. Obviously you are not being the man in your house or being a leader in your relationship. Treat her better and she will treat you better. Pamper her for one month and you will see a difference.
2006-08-20 19:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by Honey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋