I usually have gay couples as my clients due to the area I live in. I need to know how to properly address them; for example, if two ladies are married, do both refer to each other as wife? How about the married gay men, do they both refer to each other as husband?
2006-08-20 18:41:48 · 15 answers · asked by just42day 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I would simply address them as "ladies" and "gentlmen". After you get to know them better, ask them what they prefer. Some people have different titles they like. When you show that you are truly comfortable with them, they won't have a problem telling you how you may address them. I think your question shows great compassion, as you are making every effort to treat everyone as "equal". Good for you.
2006-08-20 19:20:04 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would seem polite enough to at first say, "your partner"; and then maybe ask, "Do you prefer I say 'husband'? Some people prefer one to the other."
Gay people are people, and they have to know they don't all think the same when it comes to things like this. There's nothing wrong with saying "partner" to anyone (gay or not), and asking their preference gives them the chance to express their preference.
To me, that can't be impolite or disrespectful. If they assume you're just supposed to know their preference, and if they don't recognize that gay marriage is a new thing and people don't always know the right thing to say, then that's their problem.
One other note: You said "clients" and not "customers". If they're clients it would imply that you have a fairly "personal" business relationship (such as a real estate agent or counselor or car insurance agent, etc. would have with the people they do business with). If they're not really "clients" and are "customers", then there is not as much need to know what to say because pretending you have no idea whether they're brother and brother, friend and friend, boyfriend and boyfriend, etc. is fine. In the case, just say "your friend" (it covers everything) or "your companion".
2006-08-21 01:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I work as a food server and when I get gay couples in, I refer to them as ladies or gentlemen. I am not sure how they prefer to be addressed, but I have never had a complaint. A friend of mine refers to his as his partner so you could always use your partner in plase of husband or wife.
2006-08-21 01:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by lovefor44oz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a couple tells you they're married, refer to their partner as their husband (male) or wife (female). If they don't specifically use the word married, play it safe and call everyone a partner.
2006-08-21 15:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by lcraesharbor 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In conversation, refer to the other as "your partner"
In more formal situations you can refer to one or both of them as "life partners"
In San Francisco it is the generally accepted term. Ever so rarely is the term husband and husband, or wife and wife used and when It's mostly used in familiar teasing and I don't recommend it.
2006-08-21 01:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by pinseter 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
refer to both of them as wife or husband or better yet, their names until you learn how they refer to each other. I have a gay friend from England who calls his significant other "his lordship."
2006-08-21 01:47:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ms for the ladies, Mr. for the men. Its a gender thing that has nothing to do with proclivity or marital status.
2006-08-21 01:46:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I introduce them, or refer to them by their proper names or, listen to how they introduce themselves, and go from there....If I still am in doubt, I ask them privately how they prefer. No big deal....
2006-08-21 01:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've heard the SO word bandied about. "Significant Other" Although that seems kind of cumbersome
2006-08-21 01:47:11 · answer #9 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A simple Mr., Mrs or Ms would be quite right.
2006-08-21 02:06:37 · answer #10 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋