Ok. My husband and I are having sex problems. It seems that my body will not let him enter. We haven't always had this problem. Its only started over the last month or so. I want to have sex with him, but he can't get it in, i seem to be to closed up. I dont know why though. Someone mentioned it could be stress, but i dont think i am stressed. He is not too big, as we have had sex many times before. Can anyone offer any suggestions as to why this is happening? Or what we can do to fix it? We are wanting to try for a baby but this is making it hard. (the problem started before ew decided to try) We have tried lube and consistancy, but so far it hasn't helped. I am beginning to feel like a failure as a wife, because I can't please my husband.
2006-08-20 16:05:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Since you have tried lubrication and this was not a problem in the past, you should definately see your doctor as it could be a medical problem.
You say that this started before you and your husband decided to try to have a baby but I wonder if it started when you (yourself) started to "think" about having a baby. There are a lot of internal conflicts regarding having your first child. Your life will change dramatically after your first child. There will be many positive rewards and children can be a huge blessing, but, there will be more work for you and less time for you.
Also, your relationship with your husband will change. It can change for the better but it is not unusual to be anxious about the unknown. Are you anxious about whether you will be a good mother? That is a primary concern for both women and men. We all want to be good parents for our children. I wonder about that because you say that you are starting to feel like a failure as a wife because you can't "please" your husband.
See your doctor but it might be interesting for you if you and your husband could use some effective form of birth control (for examble; a diaphram, spermacidal jelly, and a condom. If you stopped taking BC pills, you wouldn't want to go back on them) for the next 5 times you make love with each other, and see if the problem goes away.
If the problem went away, then you would know that stress was the cause. If so, maybe talking with some women who have children, about your concerns would help with that. My best friend's wife was unable to concieve after trying for 3 years. They decided to adopt and when the baby finally came she was scared to death about how to care for him. Her mother spent a lot of time helping her with the baby and after a few months my friend's wife was able to relax and be calm about being a new mother. 1 and 1/2 years later she became pregnant with her second son. The oldest boy is married and has children and her 2nd son graduated from college and is engaged to be married in a few months.
Be of good cheer, this is not an unusual problem, no matter what the problem is. My best wishes to you, your husband, and your future children. God bless you.
2006-08-20 17:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you may have secondary Vaginismus, where the PC muscle spasms, making intercourse either very painful, or impossible. Women with Vaginismus say that it feels their body won't let their partner enter, or that they have 'no hole' there. A good way to beat Vaginismus is through dilating. More information in the site below. If you do have Vaginismus and want some extra support, try the Yahoo! group. Good luck!
2006-08-20 16:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by * tj * 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to unwind beforehand a bit...try some champagne or wine and both of you relax and talk some...listen to some nice music...dance...sometimes "trying" takes all the spontaneity and fun out of the whole thing...making it more of a chore than anything else.
If it's really a matter that he can't get in, I would go checked out and find out what is going on. I've really never heard of such a thing.
2006-08-20 16:20:36 · answer #3 · answered by EVE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Changes in female hormones can cause vaginal dryness. There are creams that are prescription that will help. Try different lube,foreplay as well.Good luck on trying for the new addition to your family.
2006-08-20 16:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by ladyt 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first see the doctor to make sure you are ok then try some counselling you may not feel stressed but something is going on
2006-08-20 16:13:46 · answer #5 · answered by aisha f 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to see your Dr. It may be stress you are unaware of--but get professional to check you out
2006-08-20 16:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by phyllis_neel 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
try relaxing more ans some KY jelly to lube you good luck
2006-08-20 16:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by arubarosie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋