Creative excuses for not showing up at work tomorrow?

Answer 1

I got up this morning, and took my shower for work. I heard an alarm, and realized I had forgotten to turn off the alarm. I jumped out of the shower, and ran to the alarm clock, and I was electrocuted when I touched it with my wet hands. I laid on the floor for a while, and when I recovered, I tried to get up and get dressed, but I guess I was still woozy, and I tripped over the alarm clock cord, and fell down the staircase. I laid at the bottom, unconscious for a while, when I woke, the phone was ringing, (It was probably work, calling to see where I was.) I got up, and dragged myself over to the phone, and hit my knee on the coffee table on the way...by the time I got there the phone had stopped ringing. I turned to go get dressed, and tripped over that same coffee table...I laid there, I don't know how long, until my mate came home, and found me, unconscious. I'm sorry, I won't be late again, tomorrow.

Answer 2

Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and Karl Rove kidnapped you over the weekend and innoculated you with some unknown virus as part of their evil plan to conquer the world... you contacted Michael Moore who insisted that you must expose as much of your skin to sunlight as long as you can bear it while drinking lots of margaritas to create a natural anti-virus. You are making this ultimate sacrifice for mankind. You'll see them in a day or two. Everybody must stay away, the free world depends upon it.

Answer 3

Kindey Transplant

Answer 4

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.
On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because
the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a
head
injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I
could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt
a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition
was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when
I
heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed! the garbage
disposal is dead. Come reset it." You know where the button is."

I protested through the shower (pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!"

"I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
(Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second." So out I came, dripping wet and
buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was
not without consequence.

I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is
the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without
respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into
its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the
dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been poised around the
corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the
second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered
and
snagged them with her needle-like claws.

Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their
masculine
region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements.
Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while
rising
upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could
calmly
stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the
situation in a step-by-step manner.

Wild animals are often faced with a "fight or flight" dilemma.
Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. Fleeing straight
up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a
dismal
irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that
far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me
out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully
briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their
work while suppressing their hysterical laughter.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept
silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat got
your
tongue?"

If they had only known.

Answer 5

I can't come in today because while I was writing a list of possible excuses I could use to not come in, I got a writer's cramp around #99!

Answer 6

I would force myself to go tomorrow. Get quiet on Wednesday. Cough on Thursday & call in on Friday. Gives you 3 day weekend! Won't have to fake the 'hang-over' sickness Tuesday...

Answer 7

Well since no boss ever believes you're sick on a Monday(I'm a supervisor, and I know better) I'd go with something creative such as you'll be in after you're arraigned.

Answer 8

Abducted by aliens
God told you to miss work or He would kill the boss
Going on job interviews for new work
In Stockholm accepting the Nobel Prize

Answer 9

I made breakfast, burned my hand, spilled hot coffee over my lap, slipped on a banana peel, hit my head on the ground, big bruise on my forehead, my mother-in-law dropped by unexpectedly, twisted my ankle while trying to catch my enegetic kids, phone company is dropping by today......and I really need to stay home and recharge.....

Answer 10

OMG OMG OMG A spaceship hit my house last night and I have to go report to the authorities.... you know how the government can get so i can't go to work because it may take awhile

P.S I saw Michael Jackson in it ( his nose fell off....... again )