How to handle an ice cold ex-wife.?

Question

My ex left my son and I several years ago.Since then we have been to court several time with her voluntarily giving up more and more custody.Today my son came home and told me that his little brother and him were argueing, then his mother came in and started yelling at them. Finally she calmed down and quietly told both of them that she was thinking about leaving and signing away all custody,and they might never see her again.What the hell kind of thing is that to say to a child.If she does this the two half brothers will never see each other again. Before anyone says typical man or woman,I would like to say that this kind of behavior runs in families not by sex. Can I legally do anything about this mental abuse. Any suggestions that I can sleep on tonight would be appreciated.The kids are terrified now. All of her siblings have pulled this same stunt to get out of child support and she is 1 year behind now.

I have raised him alone since he was a baby.There is zero chance of me ever contacting the other father due to the fact that he is the one she left us for.They left a financial disaster that took 5 years to fix.

Answer 1

I am the single parent of a girl so I know where you are coming from. I told my ex that if she wanted out to please go and not ever think about coming back. After going a year without seeing my daughter she finally decided to get out for good. I think it was the best thing that could have happened. It was so hard on my daughter because there were times when her mom would visit twice in a month and then not come back for months. I used to make excuses for her but I stopped. Depending on where you live you can take her to court and have all parental rights taken away because that is mental abuse. It is roughest on the kids. Reassure them that you will never abandon them and that you love them. Let them know that sometimes people do things that make no sense. Don't say bad things about the mother because that will make you the bad guy. Let them find out what their mom is on their own....it will come with time.

The best of luck to you!!!!!

Answer 2

The court system can do a lot of things but bottom line is that they can't make your child's birth Mother be a true Mom. Legally the best thing you could do is to take full custody of your child and protect him from such mental abuse as much as possible. The biggest concern I see that you should have is the fact that your child may not be able to see his half-brother again (I take it that they have the same mother). Am I right in understanding that the half-brother was told as well as your son that the Mother was thinking of signing over all rights to him?

There was a woman who used to live here who had two children by two different fathers. Because of the abuse these children endured with their Mom, each father filed for sole custody of his own child and won.

The fathers, knowing how important to each other the two brothers were, came together and arranged for the children to be a part of each other's lives. While each child lived with his own father, on the weekends the boys would alternate visiting each other. Each father had both children every other weekend. Not only did it allow the brothers time together each week but also gave each father a free weekend as well.

Today, those two families, both fathers and both brothers, have formed a kind of family of their own. Holidays and birthdays are spent together and it's worked out so wonderfully.

I advise contacting the other child's father and talking with him to find out his views of keeping the boys in touch. You must keep in mind that he has to understand what you are going through if he has a son by the same female. It's possible that if there is something legally to be done that the two of you will surely stand more firm against her if you are united.

It's only a thought. Won't cost you anything, yet you have so much to gain.

Good Luck and Best Wishes!!!

Just read your added comment and think that contacting the other parent is still worth a try. The man may hate you but he has to love his own son and may work something out with you for him.

Answer 3

The issue you presented of great concern was the fact that the two half siblings would loose contact. Now to ensure that their relationship remains you may have to swallow your pride and approach the father re access. Sounds as tho your wife i manipulating her children with fear of separation, lovely woman she is (not). In the long run it sounds as tho your boy would be best off without her however she is his mother and no doubt loves her. The issue of child support and past pains are irrelevant to the issue presenting now. These issues especially the child support one will no doubt linger. At the end of the day you can hold your head high and it reflects upon you as a person-your ability to raise your child alone, allow access to her and other siblings and be a mature responsible parent. Contacting the other father is the only way or find out how your son can access his brother thru the cts but be prepared for a costly lengthy process. It is possible this other man has sufferred as much as you, not suggesting you become friends but your sons advocate to keep ties with what little family his ,mother has left him

Answer 4

You're right, that is a horrible thing to say to a child, and as a mother I can't imagine doing something like that to my kids. I would document the abuse, in case you have to take her to court. It may be the best thing in the long run though for her to lose her parental rights, and you and the other father can make arrangements between the 2 of you that the 2 children can spend time together, it might even be easier with the mother out of the picture. Do what you can to calm your son down, reassure him that YOU'RE not leaving, no matter what. Be honest with him when he asks about his Mommy, tell him you honestly don't know, then repeat that you will always be there for him. That's what's scaring the poor little boy, is that you'll up and leave him as well. He may need counseling, especially if she voluntarily gives up her rights, he'll feel abandoned, and will need lots of help and love to get over that. Just love your son. Hopefully, she won't have any more kids...encourage her to consider getting herself sterilized, especially if she gives up her rights. Best of luck to you and your son, sounds like he's got a good dad at least!!

Answer 5

I'm not sure there is anything you can do legally but if I were you I would sure check. She sounds like she has some serious mental issues and it might not be safe to send your son with her again. As for him not seeing his half brother if she takes off...do you know the other boys dad? Is there a way that , if she did leave, the boys could still see each other. I would hope there is a way around the issue so your son can know his brother and have a lifelong relationship with him.

I am at a loss for advice at the moment. I wish you the best though.

Answer 6

That's a sad situation. I don't think there is anything you can do about the mental abuse legally, but I would consult with an attorney about what is going on. Any woman that abandons her children is a bum. Its as simple as that. They are better off with you, a loving, caring person. Your ex-wife is a miserable, fuc*ed up goofball. Don't lower yourself to her level. Take care of your kids as best you can and try to find a better woman for yourself.
Good luck.

Answer 7

There's not much that child welfare can do. They're overloaded with physical and sexual abuse cases and neglect cases.....doubt they'll even raise an eyebrow for this matter. I'm not saying it isn't cruel and wrong but they have more pressing matters.

If this is a huge concern for you....consider taking action to further limit the childrens time with mom. Go back to court.

Answer 8

It sounds like the kids our better without her infulence anyway, If she leaves spliting up the kids maybe you could go to ask the other childs dad if they could continue to visit, or depending on your situation maybe the two of you could trade off babysiting To help with the absent parent thing and to keep the kids together.
Good luck I will pray for you and the kids

Answer 9

What's to handle? She's obviously not capable of any level of maturity. The only thing you would accomplish by raising the idea of her mental cruelty is to get exactly what she says she wants to let you have--full custody.

However, I have never heard that losing custody means she's not fiscally responsible. That's a new one on me. If that's what you've been led to believe, I'd seek new council.

Answer 10

every time the EX does some, "remembering," perform a little of your guy or woman. If she tries to improve the previous, improve the present. After the ex brings some thing up, say some thing like, "Gosh sweetie, undergo in thoughts that element whilst..." it is going to frustrate her, because of the fact the good previous cases for HER, will come out sounding pathetic, next to what YOU undergo in thoughts appropriate to the cutting-edge. it might sound rather pathetic, if the EX says some thing like, "Gosh undergo in thoughts that element we went to that baseball pastime?" you may say, "Wow expensive, that jogs my memory of the baseball pastime we went to easily final week, gosh it became into exciting, wasn't it sweetie! the youngsters had a ball!" you will see that how pathetic the Ex's attempt is, next to yours. After awhile, she would have the ability to stop, because of the fact she would have the ability to comprehend how pathetic she sounds, residing in the previous, on the same time as you and YOUR husband stay in the present.