they both live in difference states they have a son which I think is not his she had an affair, he says he scared of getting hurt we have been together for 1 year.This woman really hurt him all i want him 2 do is amitt that he wants 2 b with me he says I haven't left all this time how I am I suppose to take that. Yes I have spoiled him with all I can give him , but I know when enough is enough I want 2 do and give him so much more but the marriage is stoping me from giving more whats up with that
2006-08-20 15:39:06 · 13 answers · asked by db31 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Why doesn't he file a divorce then? What is he waiting for to do that? His divorcing his wife will solve your problem now but for as long as they haven't divorced yet, his wife still has all the right in the world to say that he is her husband.
Talk to him and tell him that if he really loves you, he should divorce his wife so that every thing will be in order. But don't stop in doing what you have been doing to him because he has learned to love you for being like that. If you change, he may just think that you are already tired of loving him and that may drive him away from you.
Just understand him if at times you can still see the hurting in him caused by their family break up. I believe that despite the fact that you believe that his son is not his, he has learned to love him and that will make him miss his son.
If he does not agree with the divorce issue, ask him why and if his reason is valid, just wait for the right time for him to do that. If not, then, ask yourself if you will ever be happy living with a man who is still very much married to another woman? And the more that you will have to think about continuing your relationship with him if you find out at the end that he still cares so much for his wife. When that happens, decide with the idea of giving yourself peace and true happiness which you may not get from him. Good luck.
2006-08-20 16:03:41 · answer #1 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think that he's telling the whole truth? I've encoutered this other-woman-problem once 2 years ago and the stories that I heard from her are mostly lies. The thing is, the stories do not even come from my husband, it came from his family. They took a piece here and there and created a huge story about me being a monster. 2 years later, they learned that they are the actual monsters for trying to break up a marriage.
My point is, you need to investigate in asking why he's still married. If his wife is such a monster, they would be divorced already by now. My guess is, he just want to get in your pants as his wife is far away. Do not trust such man. Move on with your life. he might go back to his wife and you will be left stranded. Don't play around with married men. I wouldn't advise it.
2006-08-20 15:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by delusionale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to back off. If the man is married, there is a reason for that. Whether he admitts to loving her or not....there is a reason why they live in diff. states and still stay married. If the son is not his, but he still considers him his, then this guy has a lot to deal with before he can deal with giving you 100% of his love and affection. Right now, being with you and being married to his wife...he is getting the best of both worlds, and you are allowing it to happen. Leave this man!! He is not capable of a committed relationship...he is making that very clear to you. And also.....you are the other women right now....just keep in mind that one day, you may be in the position of his wife. Will you still want to spoil him then?
2006-08-20 15:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by 10114935 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one but you need to stop with the spoiling or he will expect that all the time !! you have to give him time if it is meant to be it will be I was in your shoes once and I made him feel like my life will go on with or with out him I wasn't at his beckon call all the time and 3 yrs yes 3yrs he got his divorce and wants to marry me but I'm not rushing because I want him to be able to deal with divorce and be remarried again and to make sure that's what we both want and not jumping into anything ..so give him time he did marry her and maybe there is still some feelings he need to deal with in their relationship a lot of guys run away when a women push them too fast!!
2006-08-20 15:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by classy chic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to marry you.
If you want marriage and children you may be wasting time.
If after a year he can only muster I havent left he may not be able to give you what you need.
Unrequited love suks.
Let the rubber meet the road. Ask him.
2006-08-20 15:47:53 · answer #5 · answered by Kirk M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if.... someone is still married (altho I don't believe in this anymore) then they are holding on to this relationship for some reason....
ME, I, ME
So, I don't let them know my feeling the best that I can, if i care for them... I don't want someone that cant be ON THEIR OWN, ALONE... I believe that their tooooo neeedy...
I don't know what you should do....
but you do, don't you???
"...all I can give him , but I know when enough is enough..."
"...the marriage is stoping me..."
2006-08-20 15:45:48 · answer #6 · answered by DM 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is he still married? It sounds like he's not ready to go forward with his life. If that's the case you're wasting your time.
You need to find out more information.
2006-08-20 15:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sounds to me like youre just that chic on the side of course he's going to tell you whatever just to keep you off his back about leaving. what you need to do is accept the fact that youre just the one he goes to when **** aint right at home.
2006-08-20 15:47:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think u have the right to enter other people's marriage. Nooffence.
2006-08-20 15:46:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's staying married to protect himself. That tells you everything you need to know about your chances with him.
2006-08-20 15:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by dietcokeani 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋