Growing up i was raped for several years by my father. He is now dead and for me the experience is in the past. I have moved on and am having a sucessful and happy life - HOWEVER what i need to know is this:
Do i need to tell my partner about this experience. Each time i have had a relationship i haven't discussed it with the other person i feel that its my experience and there is no need to talk about it with them. I have wondered though if this is being dishonest in some way, i'm worried that a potential serious partner may feel differently towards me because of if. Would you feel differently about your partner if this happened to them and if you were me would you tell your partner?
2006-08-20 15:37:52 · 4 answers · asked by Saani_G 3 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I Disagree, the fact you are asking this question, indicates it will always haunt you.(would he love me if he knew) what happened was not your fault, you are a victim of your fathers sickness. and will always carry the memory. You will experience depression whenever you ask yourself, would he still love me if he knew. don't burden yourself. if he really loves you, he will support you and want you to know, he is there for you no matter what. My wife was raped by an uncle when she was a child, as a teenager she was raped by her supposed bf. She needed my support to let it go. She still has issues with it and I am there for her! it is part of who you are today, and how you deal with the past will determine how you move forward. It's true, honesty is the best policy. My wife says, as a boyfriend, he doesn't need to know. considering marriage deal with it before hand, then it won't cause you concern later.
2006-08-20 16:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by sllyjo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt tell him unless i felt that he wouldnt get upset or turned off by it im sure this is your concern though right. if you feel this is an experience that you want to share to open up about it and get it out then tell him. I personally think he would feel differently but he will accept if he loves you after all this wasnt your fault it may also give him some insight on any issues you may come across with sexual boundries if there are any.letting the truth out may give you some relief.
2006-08-20 22:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 14 yrs.I don't know alot about my husbands past,he is a very private person,I am not. I have told him every bad thing there is to know about me.Its really up to you(what kind of a person you are.They don't own you and shouldn't punish you for having private feelings.As a matter of fact my husband has given me more grief for knowing everything about me.If they love you they'll understand.No need to tell boyfriends though.Save that intimate part of you for your husband if you do decide to open up.
2006-08-20 23:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by laura c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only tell him if you want to. Don't feel guilty if you don't. It is totally your decision. If you really care about someone it wouldn't matter. It is your choice if you want to share your past.
2006-08-20 22:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by scarletts_mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋