The marriage seems to be ok - none of the major signs or reasons for cheating? I know that no one really know what goes on behind closed doors but most of the time the major signals are there. This time there are none - I would like some answers?!?!?
2006-08-20 15:06:37 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first thing you need to know is that this is HIS problem. If he ever tries to "blame" this on you do not accept it! He may be a sex addict, he may have low self esteem, he may have no idea of what commitment is. He has a problem.
The further question is this...why would you put up with it? Love yourself enough to do what is best for you.
2006-08-20 15:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, we should cover why a husband would cheat in the first place. You talk about "major signals", but the saying is true hindsight is 20/20. You didn't see any signs until after you found out about the cheating, right? As someone who has been cheated on, I didn't see the signs either.. at first. Have their been arguments? It could be about money, or about quality time, or it could be something sexual that there was a disagreement over that can send a guy packing. Cheating for men is most often about a new sexual partner, or just someone to have fun with without the burden of the marriage.
Also, has he been keeping any other secrets from you? Was he good at surprising you during your courtship? Some guys just have a knack for covering up the phone numbers, emails, and lipstick stains.
Second, why did he cheat again? It doesn't matter if it was the same woman or a new one. The thing is, this man is showing a pattern. As a woman, I've been forgiving in the past of one indiscretion, but the second leads to the third, and just more heartbreak down the road.
Personally, I know why my guy cheated on me multiple times, but I didn't figure it out until months after the relationship was done. Seriously talk with your husband. Put divorce on the table (only as an option) and see if he'll be honest with you.
2006-08-20 15:20:20 · answer #2 · answered by the_skit_kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men cheat for different reasons.
1. It could be that he isn't what he claimed to be; people do that allt he time.
2. Men are evil by nature. And if a man doesn't understand this & rise above it, then he is more easily tempted. I'm sure you've heard the comment that "he was thinking with the other head", as though men have no control. And women accept this. And they always seem to go after the woman instead of the spouse.
3. There may be something going on inside emotionally, some need that isn't being met by his wife. And instead of trying to fix it with her, he turns to someone else.
4. Something may have happend that made him feel like a failure. He may be trying to prove his worth.
None of these are excuses; only some reasons. And no, there aren't always major signals. Or there are, & we just don't see them as that.
2006-08-20 15:28:52 · answer #3 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't be asking people on yahoo why youre husband cheat on you twice, you should be asking your husband why he cheated on you not once but twice, because he's the only person knows why he cheated on you, but if I were you I'd leave your husband after he cheated on you the first time, because you can't trust someone who already cheated on you. And I'd consider leaving your husband now because he cheated on you and you forgave him the first time but he cheated on you, you can't trust this man again, he'll just keep on doing it knowing that you'll keep on forgiving him. He can't be trusted. But the answer may be because that he isn't getting what he want or need in this marriage that's why he goes out to look for it outside the marriage, so you should really talk to him.
2006-08-20 15:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably lacking something emotionally. And with guys not being able to express their feelings frealy they seek it out through actions in other ways. Maybe he feels that you aren't understanding him and probably from the last time you weren't so appreciative when he did share his feelings. So he is seeking out understanding from another person. Now if it is sexual again there could be something missing. You may think things are going great but he probably wants to try something new and you are too conservative to do it, so he won't even bring it up but try it with someone else. Hope this helps.
2006-08-20 15:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men cheat out of a false sense of entitlement. They think that they are entitled to it if they can get away with it. It sucks, but that's how it is. Lots of men have the decency to actually respect their wives once they get married; lots of other men don't stray out of fear of the consequences. The rest of them think that the world at large owes them the right to stick their d*cks wherever they can find to stick them.
Women, on the other hand, only cheat if they are unhappy, and often for revenge.
2006-08-20 15:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A cheap thrill, self-indulgence, who knows, I don't. There are probably as many reasons as there are cheaters. Ask the one who is cheating on you why before you kick his sorry *** to the curb. There is no acceptable reason or excuse. If you don't like what's going on in your marriage, be a man to do everything in your power to get it fixed, and if you can't get it fixed, get rid of it.
2006-08-20 15:16:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating meets a need for him that even he may not have identified. For some men it's merely ego, for others it's instant gratification with risk. In any event, it shows enormous lack of compassion and care - this is a man who is truly a dog.
2006-08-20 15:12:52 · answer #8 · answered by JJJJJJJJim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no honest excuse for it. if he is not happy or feels something is missing etc... all the typical excuses then he should say something so it can be addressed and if he just no longer wanted to be in the marriage he should also say something, not go out and sleep around taking a chance of destroying his family. sounds like a real bastard to me.
2006-08-20 15:12:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men cheat because of many reasons but the main one is the death of sex; sexless marriage and incessant nagging. women ruin relationships with power struggles as soon as they get the marrage license and ring and/or kid. and the system favors them . no man should ever marry and i think cheating is at least 50/50 but the system favors the sluts. I think all men should be natural; screw as many women as possible and be responsible by not having any children withn ther lying thieving suts most "wives "/ most expensive whores per screw, are.
2006-08-20 15:30:26 · answer #10 · answered by jim a 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋