My partner of 6 1/2yrs have decide to sleep with other woman. Well we never had different partners so I somewhat understands the fact that he doesnt want to marry me if he hasnt. Well he already asked me to marry him but now he has slept with someone. We arent really together but it is still bothering me. Am I wrong for being upset that he asked me to marry him then started sleeping around? What should I do? I didnt want to sleep with anyone but now I do and I think its out of anger. How do I deal with this and has anyone else ever gone through this?
2006-08-20 14:59:53 · 22 answers · asked by poohbeark19 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well thank you everyone for your decent and respectable comments as for Man fromnowhere or whatever your name is this is all the details and I cant help he cant keep his **** in his pants.
2006-08-20 15:38:44 · update #1
It would totally upset the hell out of me, If it were me. I could somewhat understand that you were the only one he has ever been with, and may want to experiment (it is probably a little different with men, no excuse though) I'm sure it is hard but try dating other men, I married the first guy I ever had sex with and I can't say I don't regret that.
2006-08-20 15:08:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he should never have asked you to marry him if he was not ready for the commitment. But, people do get cold feet and apparently his are freezing. You however don't need a case of frostbite. Let him go and get on with your life. I caution you though, don't start sleeping around out of anger. Wait until you find someone you truly care for. Someone who also has real feelings for you.
I realize this is a difficult time for you. 6 1/2 years is a long time to share a relationship just to have it evaporate in a minute. But there is a great big world out there for you to find.
I wish many many blessings for you. By the way, when you say good-bye, smile and don't look back!
2006-08-20 22:13:11 · answer #2 · answered by fishergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many is too many...? Girl, dump him and move on... Such a no-brainer... Actually, though...? Here's what he's probably up to: He knows nice guys finish last and has probably been real good to you... He figures if he asks you to marry him, then you'll be thinking about him... However, if he stays on his present course of being nice to you, he will lose you... He doesn't want that, so he figures if he starts treating you bad, you'll want to be with him forever... (Which is what he wanted in the 1st place)... So, he sleeps with someone else to show you just how bad he can be... Which is what you want because you don't want the nice, dependable type of guy... That kind just gets no respect from the ladies and you're no different... So, after having lived w/Bubba for 6½ yrs, he finally makes up his mind that he wants to marry you...? Nope, I'm figuring there's more to this than what you're leading us to believe...
2006-08-20 22:14:08 · answer #3 · answered by KnowhereMan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him sleeping with someone else after he proposed to you is his way of saying that he doesn't want to be committed. Yes, you have the right to be upset but ask yourself this...is my anger hurting me or him. I think it's a pretty big disadvantage to yourself that you want to sleep with someone else just to get back at him. When this happened to me I took 6 months off of any relationships and concentrated on grieving the loss then healing my heart. I found that if you love yourself first and set down expectations from the beginning the guy usually thinks better of you. Plus, it will help you get priorities strait. Maybe a relationship is not really what you'll want when you take a good hard long look.
2006-08-20 22:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by Rae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a life of heartache and grief that leads to divorce in no time at all, stay with this loser.
You have given yourself to him as though you were already married and it has gotten you where? Now he's having sex with others and you want to do the same out of spite.
That is not the way to handle it. Besides the fact that you could end up with STDs, you will also have to live with the fact that you copulated with men you cared nothing about just to "get even" with another man you [should] care nothing about. He is definitely not worth a second thought.
Get on with your life and be more circumspect in how you live it.
2006-08-20 22:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by carolewkelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that this guy is justifying his behavior as "sowing his last wild oats". Here's the thing: he's already committed himself to you. If he has asked you to marry him, then he supposedly already KNOWS what he wants. He shouldn't need to "sow wild oats." It is irresponsible and disrespectful to you to ask you to marry him and then decide that he needs to do this - if he needed to do so, he should have done it BEFORE he asked you to marry him. So no, I do not think it is at all irrational for you to be angry with him.
You should seriously consider what this guy's actions towards you mean before you go ahead with the wedding. To me, they mean a few things: that he does not honor his promises (his proposal to you was basically a promise that he would need no other woman besides you), that he puts his own needs and desires before yours, and that he does not consider how his actions may affect you. These are all dangerous traits for a husband.
I think that this guy has to grow up. Whether or not he will be right for you in the end, I'm not sure. But he sure isn't respecting your feelings now, and on the eve of such a large committment, that should be a real warning sign. I think you should sit down with him and calmly tell him how and why he hurt you. You may want to split from him for a while - for at least the amount of time it takes to get over the hurt. Relax and take care of yourself. Make sure that this guy is really who you want to marry. Make sure that you have really forgiven him for this. You wouldn't want to enter into a marriage with this kind of baggage, already being angry at him, would you? Then, once you are over the hurt, then he can try to get you back - he would have to prove that he deserves you by making sure that you come first. In my mind, that is what makes a good husband or wife - when you realize that your partner thinks about you just as much as they do about themselves. This guy is only thinking of himself right now.
Don't just sleep with some random guy to get back at him. That will probably just make you feel worse in the long run, and also make you just as bad as him.
2006-08-20 22:19:51 · answer #6 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you are no longer with this man.
The reason being that he said he wanted to sleep with other women...
He asked you to marry him before he slept with other women?
Mmmm this is not clear but after more than 6 years, if you guys are still not married, I doubt that you will. Plus if he started sleeping with other women right away, he does not value you as much as you thought he did.
I would suggest to move on and find a man who loves you for who you are and will be with you and only you. There are men that still want to be monogamous.. you will find one who will treat you good and make you happy, you'll see.
Good luck!
2006-08-20 22:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by Shaana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him. If he is sleeping around do not sleep with him either. He could give an STD. You don't want to die over an insensitive man that didn't love you enough to keep his pants up. Dump him and find someone that will respect you enough to only want to sleep with you.
2006-08-20 22:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by Medical and Business Information 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not and will never be committed to you and the relationship. Just let him go and move on, there are still good men out there to be committed to you and will be a great catch. Go ahead and date others and sleep with whom you choose, there is no commitment there from him so you shouldnt feel guilty about being with some one else, Good luck.
2006-08-20 22:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by tennman012000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you're hurt, but you know this isn't going anywhere, so don't be sleeping around out of anger. Instead, have respect for yourself and start looking for the kind of relationship you really want, and don't settle for less.
2006-08-20 22:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋