My boyfriend 's visa is expired and has to return home to the middle east, we dont know when or if he will ever come back. If he gets accepted into a university to study for Ph.d then he will be back in a year, but its all up in the air and I dont know if for sure he will return. I want to marry him, we were close once to getting married but I got scared and called it off... and he agreed that we were rushing... but now I wish I hadnt called it off... what do you think? should I ask him to marry me before he leaves.. will this ensure that he comes back?
2006-08-20 13:33:11 · 5 answers · asked by minx 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I should say that I do want to marry him, but even if I marry him he cant stay, we has a residency requirement, when he goes home he has to live in his home country for two years before he can be a permenant resident in the states, unless he comes back to study, then he can study but will have to return home after to finish the residency requirements... I just wonder if I should wait and see if he comes back and then marry him when he comes back or marry him now so that will give him more motivation to come back???//
2006-08-20 13:50:40 · update #1
If you both really love each other----real love will stand the test of time. Wait til he's finished with his education. You can get married then. I hope this helps.
2006-08-20 13:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry this can not be easy for you.
But maybe there is a good reason for your hesitation before. And right that he should support your decision (which shows love and patience, a couple of key things in any successful realtionship).
There hasn't been any mention of what your parents think of him, no mention of what his family thinks of you, and your possible nuptials.
How long have you two known each other? What do your friends think of him? Do you have mutual friends? Could his friends and your friends hang out and enjoy each other's company?
Where do the two of you plan to live? Have you gotten a passport to travel to his homeland?
If you have a support network in place (people who know of your relationship - and encourage it, seeing that it makes you both happy) then you might want to go ahead with planning marriage. Yet I would not try an intentionally schedule it ahead of VISA expiration. You don't want that to be the perceived reason for your betrothal.
Make plans talk to the embassies of his country here in the US, and invest some money speaking to US embassy in his country.
Find out what exactly the rules are.
Make contingency arrangements.
I too would be very scared to send someone I cared for into a war torn area. I might even do everything in my power to keep him safe.
And yet, I wouldn't want our marriage to start under duress. I would want each party to feel like they came to their decision - calmly, unhurried, in nothing but the love and devotion felt for the other.
Best wishes, and hopes of love found forever - J
2006-08-20 20:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by sagebella 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, don't do it. If he wants to marry you, he will find a way to come back. There is no rush. Wait out the year and see how you feel.
2006-08-20 20:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't marry him just so he can stay, marry him for the right reasons, or you might regret it later in life.if you love him yes i would ask.
2006-08-20 20:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marry him because you love each other not because of his visa-- everything will work itself out-good luck
2006-08-20 20:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋